


I'll never say

by Monday_Writes (Lol_bnhalover)



Series: Eddsworld heavy angest [1]
Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Army, Birds, Black Army, Blood and Torture, Choking, Crying, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Fluff, Evil Plans, Fear, Forced Crossdressing, Glossophobia, Gun Violence, Heavy Angst, Im a failure twards my mother, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Just Add Kittens, Long, Mental Breakdown, Monster Tom, Multi, Panic Attacks, Physical Abuse, Service Dogs, Slow Build, Tags Contain Spoilers, The Author Regrets Nothing, This whole fic is messed up, Transgender Patryck, im sorry mother
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-28
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:28:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 27
Words: 68,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21595357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lol_bnhalover/pseuds/Monday_Writes
Summary: Tord has gone through a lot as the red leader, but this might be the worst. Will this be the thing that finally breaks the Red Leader and everyone who cares about him?
Relationships: Edd/Matt (Eddsworld), Edd/Matt/Tom/Tord (Eddsworld), Edd/Tom (Eddsworld), Edd/Tord (Eddsworld), Eduardo/Jon (Eddsworld), Matt/Tom (Eddsworld), Matt/Tord (Eddsworld), Patryck/Paul (Eddsworld), Tom/Tord (Eddsworld), Yanov/Yuu (Eddsworld)
Series: Eddsworld heavy angest [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1571263
Comments: 29
Kudos: 129





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Trapped au (eddsworld)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20500406) by [depressed_shiit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/depressed_shiit/pseuds/depressed_shiit). 



> This will be a very long fic! And because I want to make these chapters long and enjoyable updates will be coming at once or twice a month. 
> 
> Oh and if you didn't already read the tags, this will be a very dark and gory fic. :)
> 
> And this was based on trapped, but I changed so much I don't even know at this point. Either way, I hope you enjoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 5/22/20

Tord slowly woke, soreness dulling his body as usual. Pain was normal in this hell. He heard talking, voice sending shivers down his spine. How were they there? No one knew where he was, right? Were they there to kill him? Were they here to save him? Maybe if he just pretended to be asleep they wouldn't hurt him.

"Ugh, I can't believe we're stuck here with commie" Came the annoyed voice of tom.

"Is he even alive?" Matt's worried voice chimed in.

"Well, he is breathing. I am worried though…" edd sighed. So they weren't there to kill him… if anything, they seemed like they didn't know why they were there. Tord decided to take his chances and pretended to be waking up. "Ahh look! He's waking!!"

Opening his eyes tord found he wasn't in the small room he was used to. Instead, he was in a bigger room with four beds, one the other side of the room, a bunk bed on the right wall and the bed he was lying on. Edd and Matt were sitting across from him while Tom was sitting on the bottom bunk. 

"So you're finally awake." Tom said, glaring at tord as if he brought him here.

"What the fuck?" Was the only thing tord could come up with. Because honestly, what the fuck? How were they here? Why were they here? The black army wasn't planning on hurting them, were they?

"Are you okay, tord?" Edd asked, a look of genuine concern on his face. He felt a pang in his heart. Edd still cared about him.

"Of course I'm fine! Why wouldn't i-FUCK!" Tord cursed out in pain as he tried to sit up. His stomach burned painfully and he had no choice but to collapse back into bed. "I'm alright…" coughing, tord was shocked to see blood.

"Tord!" Edd shouted in surprise. He quickly got up and rushed over to Tords side. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine Edd. Just a little banged up." tord said, hugging his stomach weakly. Edd used his hoodie sleeve to clean the blood that clung to his chin. He rubbed tord's cheek gently, running his thumb over one of tords fading bruises. Tord knew he had bruises on his face, that his whole body was probably black and blue. Tord most definitely wasn't okay, but he wasn't about to tell them that.

"So commie, you know why we're here?" Tom said suddenly. Tord raised an eyebrow at the alcoholic brit.

"No..? Why would I?"

"You're always causing trouble, it'd make sense if you had someone kidnap us. What are they gonna do to us?!" Ouch. That actually kinda hurt. Tord was getting annoyed at Tom's wild claims and chose to close his eyes and ignore him. "Hey!"

"Tom stop being so rude! Can't you see he's hurt? Why would he even have anything to do with this!?" Edd said with a frown. Tord grinned before coughing up more blood. "Tord! Okay, this isn't normal, you're going to tell me what's wrong with you!"

"Edd…" tord whimpered softly. Edd gently brought him up onto his lap, and tord didn't miss the death glare Matt gave him. "It hurts…" he moaned. So much for not showing weakness. His arms wrapped around his midsection.

"What? What hurts? Matt, tom get over here!" Reluctantly the two males moved over to tords bed. Edd stared down at his friend In worry, oblivious to the fact that he was being glared at. Tord shook his head, holding onto Edd like a lifeline. "Tord, where does it hurt!?"

"Jesus fuck edd, he's not gonna tell you! Just leave commie to choke on his blood" tom shook his head with a scoff. Edd gasped and tord coughed wetly.

"Fuck you Jehovah, this is a new level of hate.Even I would try and help you." tord said, forcing himself to sit up and move out of Edd's lap. "But you're right about that I guess, I can't tell you what's wrong"

"What? Why not Todd" Matt asked. He held Edd's hand almost as an extra 'fuck you' to tord. If tord wasn't choking up blood he might've pushed the annoying ginger off his bed.

"I just can't... okay?" Tord huffed as he pushed himself into the farthest corner of the bed. His eyelids felt heavy but he knew what might happen if he wasn't awake.

"Tord… Please…" Edd looked so genuinely hurt by the fact that he couldn't help tord it pained the Norwegian. "you know we're still your boyfriends, right? You know we care about you, right tord? So you have to tell us what's wrong…" 

A single tear slipped down tord's face. "I- I…" tord squeezed his eyes shut. He didn't want to deal with this. His friends didn't deserve to burden something so big. 'But if you don't tell them now they'll be even more hurt later.' Whispered a little voice in the back of his head 'shouldn't they know what to expect?'

"I-its... A lot" he said after a few more moments of silence. Edd perked up, a hopeful look in his lime green eyes. "Don't freak out or anything… ugh," Taking a deep breath, tord removed his black tee-shirt. He had to fight the urge to cover himself. 

Bruises littered his upper torso, the biggest one on his stomach. His right side had burns and his right arm was covered in bandages. There were a few colorful band-aids placed seemingly at random, but really it was just a failed attempt at making him happy. They'd managed to capture his uncle, Pay, and he was forced to medically aid Tord in any way.

"O-oh my god.." Edd breathed, covering his mouth with his hands. Embarrassment and fear filled the silver-eyed boy and he quickly tried to put his shirt back on. "Tord," edd grabbed the shirt and took it away from tord.

"What the fuck happened to you!?" Tom said loudly, causing tord to flinch. He looked extremely disturbed. Tord wrapped his arms around himself.

"C-can I have my shirt back?" he mumbled weakly. Being exposed like this was making him uncomfortable, his clothes were the only protection he had. Edd frowned but gave tord back his shirt. The Norwegian was quick to put it back on. 

"What happened?" Tom asked again. Tord didn't respond, looking at the floor like it was the most interesting thing in the world. "Tord! What happened? You can't just fucking show us something like this and then not say anything!"

"Why do you even care!?" Tord shot back, tears spilling down his cheeks. 

"We're your boyfriends, of course, we care!" Edd said, reaching out to touch Tord but he flinched away. 

"You shouldn't, all I've ever done is hurt you!! Being my boyfriend will only hurt you. They'll hurt you if they know I care about you. Go away, please just leave me alone!" Tord buried his head in his knees. It was quiet for a long moment, the only sound tord's sniffling. Something draped over his shoulders and the bed dipped.

Tord poked his head out to find everyone on the other bed talking quietly, Tom's jumper laying over him. He put it on and went back to curling in on himself. The hoodie provides more than just warmth and protection, it gave him comfort. The smell of Smirnoff and Toms peppermint soup made Tord feel a little bit safer. 

If only Tord wasn't here, maybe in his office working on something new. Maybe if he hadn't blown up the house he could've gone there, laughed with them while watching 'Insane zombies pirates from hell'. But of course, he had to go back for his damn robot. He just had to blow up the houses, tell Edd that he didn't love him. He wouldn't be here, none of this would've happened. Tord really did ruin everything.

"What is that!?" Tom suddenly shrieked, startling tord. Looking up tord saw that pink smoke was slowly filling the room. 

"If you breathe it in you'll pass out…" tord muttered but made no move to get up. He took a few deep breaths as the other began to panic. 

"What do we do?" Edd said, voice frantic as he jumped to the top bunk bed. 

"Smoke rises idiot! Get down!" Tom spat. Edd made a surprised face and jumped down onto tord's bed, jostling the Norwegian. "Damn it, commie! Is there a way we can get out of this?" 

"Not that I know of, the smoke is just gonna fill the entire room." Tord responded, a little winded.

"There has to be a way!" Edd said in distress, looking around. Tord was holding his breath. The thing about the smoke was it wouldn't instantly knock you out, you had to inhale quite a bit of it. That wouldn't be a problem if it didn't hurt. The smoke, when inhaled, would burn the throat and irritate the lung. Then you'd be stuck coughing and gasping for air. Tord would rather hold his breath and try to knock himself out.

His chest felt tight, and he could see black at the edges of his vision. Loud, horse coughing from beside him jerked him from his dais and he involuntarily inhaled. He coughed as pink smoke filled his lungs. The others weren't faring any better. Edd was grabbing at his chest, face pale and he looked close to passing out. Tom was shaking, face first on the bed. Matt seemed to have already passed out, and they weren't far behind. It felt like razor blades were cutting his throat with every breath. Finally, he passed out...

_____

3 months earlier

  
  
  
  


"I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND" 

  
  
  
  


It was the last thing tord heard before a blue harpoon perched his robot, not only hitting his control board but impaling tord's side. "No no no no-" came his frantic chanting as everything began to flash red and his whole world spun with bright and disorientating colors.

"Hjelp hjelp! Feil, det gjør vondt for noen!" He wailed into his radio, unintendedly switching to his native tongue. It wasn't long before his radio died. "Nei! Faen nå hva!?!" He didn't have much more time to react as the machine he was trapped in began to violently rattle. Without warning it exploded, fire licking Tord's skin and smoke filling his already aching lungs. Thick black smoke rendered him practically blind as the ground approached ever faster. 

The robot had a somewhat graceful landing, burning chunks and pieces raining down in an almost beautiful spectacle. That is if you weren't in the middle of the burning mess. It was impossible to tell up from down in the darkness underneath the rubble. The only light source was the flickering flames, but all it did was take up oxygen and produced tord with even more horrid pain. Fire ate away at his flesh, cooking him alive. His right eye was all burning painfully, and the non stop ringing in his ears was deafening… "help… help me please." he rasped out, vocal cords shot from screaming and smoke inhalation. 

Finding the strength to stand seemed like an impossible task to ask of tord, seeing as he was pinned under pounds of metal and one wrong move could result in it all collapsing in on him. However this was tord, and no task was too hard for the ambitious leader. So pushing past the pain he mustered up all his strength and pushed away the broken pieces of his hard work and stumbled out of his fiery prison. Blood leaked from his open wounds and soaked into the grass beneath him. 

Tord made his way to the very edge of the hill, noting the lack of his most trusted men. The thought of Paul and Patryck, his own parents, abandoning him seemed laughable. That didn't get rid of the very real possibility and likelihood seeing as they were nowhere near in sight. He fell to his knees, far too weak and dizzy to stay on his feet.

His eyes(or rather his eye) caught something off in the distance, something that made his heart clench. Three figures in blue, green and purple, walking away from the smoking rubble of a destroyed house. They were happy. Happy that they defeated Tord, that it was him not them. 

"I'm… sorry…" he whispered. His words drifted off into the wind, meaningless and lost. Saying it wouldn't change anything. Tord chose power over family and now he was paying the ultimate price for it. He had no one, NO ONE! His 'boyfriends,' dads, army, all gone! And it was all because he couldn't stop for one fucking second and think about what the hell he was getting himself into. 

"WHY DOES EVERYTHING I LOVE LEAVE ME!?" He screamed out, tears burning down his face. It stung his fresh wounds on his face but he didn't care. The ringing in his ears was so loud he barely even heard himself, heard the sound of cars pulling up. He couldn't hear the screaming just behind him, gunshots ringing out. He was so overwhelmed with his own thoughts he didn't feel the rough hands grabbing him and restraining him, tossing him into the back seat of a car. 

In the few moments of clarity he had, he could see what had just taken place. Maybe staying in the rubble would've been better. Sitting slumped over was Patryck, bleeding heavily from his gut and glaring at the vehicle tord was currently in. Tord for one of the first times in his saw tears in those golden eyes. Paul was next to him, panting and bleeding as well. Haze began to take over his mind before he truly had a chance to work out what just happened and before long tord's world was cloaked in darkness… 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is longer than I expected but I ain't complaining.

Edd woke with a dazed feeling. His throat burned and his whole body felt heavy. Opening his eyes, he found himself tied to a chair. He was sitting at a table, tom, and matt on either side. 'What's going on? How did I get here?' Edd thought to himself, looking around the room for a possible exit. The walls and floor were a dark grey color and there was one single iron door.

"What the hell…?" Tom groaned. Edd turned back to the table. Tom looked confused and slightly irritated.

"Tom!" Edd gasped "You're awake!"

"Yeah edd, where are we?" Tom murmured.

"I… I don't know" edd said.

"My face…" matt said suddenly, startling both edd and tom.

"Matt! You scared us" edd said.

"Why is that the first thing you said?" Tom asked in an exasperated tone.

"I don't know! Is my face okay though?" 

"Yeah, it's fine" edd shook his head. Suddenly the door opened and a young woman walked in. She had short black hair pulled into a high ponytail, a black hoodie, dark grey high-waisted jeans, and black combat boots. She sat down in the chair across from edd.

"So, you're finally awake. Took ya long enough" she chuckled.

"Who the hell are you?! Why are we here?" Tom spat. 

"Where are we?" Edd added.

"My my, you sure ask a lot of questions. At least one thing about tord is he's rather silent," she smirked, seeming to enjoy provoking the men.

"You- DID YOU HURT HIM?" edd shouted, scaring matt and tom as they'd never seen him so angry. Just being near her made his blood boil.

"So you do care for him. Hmm, I guess it's only fair I answer your questions before I ask my own. My name is tay, and you are currently in the black army's questioning room. I'll get to why you're here in a moment."

"What makes you think we'll answer your questions??" Tom growled.

"Because I know you care for tord," they stiffened, waiting to see what she'd say. "And I know you'd be oh so upset if tord were to, how do I put this, be so injured it'd destroy any life he ever had." She had a dark look on her face.

"We'll answer your dumb questions!" Tom said lowly, eyes flashing purple. Tay didn't miss this but didn't comment. 

"Just please don't hurt tord!" Matt pleaded. 

"Let me ask you this, what is Tord to you all? Answer truthfully." She said in a serious tone.

"He's our…" Edd hesitated. Did he really want to be the reason tord suffered more pain? "He's our boyfriend."

"Boyfriend? All of you?" Tay snorted. Edd felt rage rush through him and an insult was on the tip of his tongue.

"Shut up! Our relationship is perfectly fine!" This time it was Matt who yelled, again startling his lovers. Even tay seemed surprised for a moment, but a sadistic grin suddenly appeared.

"I wouldn't have taken you as an intimidating person, but you seemed to do just fine. I wonder what I could do with you…" she murmured. It seemed like she was talking to herself but due to the nature of the room, everyone heard.

"If you so much as lay a finger on him I swear I'll-" Tom was interrupted by tay.

"QUIET! I wouldn't go around threatening people who have far more control. I have to deal with your 'dearly beloved' later and if you want him back in one piece then it's best not to put me in a bad mood." Tom looked like he wanted to object but instead held back. "Good" 

"What do you want from us? From tord?" Edd asked. It took a lot in him not to raise his voice.

"Simple, I want to know the location of the Red Army's bases. With this knowledge, we can purge them and rid the world of their pathetic existence. Tord knows this and we are going to get it. I simply captured you because I know tord care about you. You being here will hopefully be enough. Tord should know by now we aren't holding back."

"You're a monster!" Edd growled.

"So is Tord." Tay stood, smiling evilly. "Now if you excuse me I'll be off. I have someone else I must see. Ta ta!" With that, she was gone. That pink familiar gas filled the air and soon the three of them passed out.

* * *

Tord woke, blinking to clear away the post-sleep blur. He was lying on the cold stone floor. "Good morning princesses." Said a young woman who went by the name of tay. Tord's head shot up and he stared for a moment in fear

"What…?" Tord murmured tiredly.

"I see your friend gave you his hoodie. Must be cozy, it's a shame it won't last long" Tay smirked. Adrenaline rushed through his body as he remembered the blue hoodie that hung off his thin frame.

"He's not my friend!" Tord said. It was a lie, tom was more than just a friend to tord. But tay could never know that.

"So red leader, what do those men mean to you?" Tay asked.

"Nothing. They mean nothing to me." Tord lied. It was for their own good. He shakily sat up, ignoring the pain.

"Oh? Is that so? We asked them and apparently, they're quite close to you" She smirked evilly. When had they talked to them? What did she mean by close? If she knew that meant….

"I… I lied to them, I never cared." Tord said in a dead tone. He may be a good liar, but three against one was hard to match.

"I think that's a lie…" tay said, leaning in closer to the scarred male. Tords eyes widen in surprise and he prayed his face didn't reveal how terrified he was.

"You-"

"I see that look in your eyes, you can lie all you want but your eyes will always tell me the truth," Tay said, giggling maniacally.

"Shut up!" He snapped.

"Tsk, tsk" she clicked her tongue. "When will you learn Larsøn? I'm in control here. I guess I'll have to teach you a lesson" A wide smile appeared on her face. She took a step back and disappeared into the darkness, only to return with a shiny metal bat. 

"What are... What are you doing? " tord asked, breath picking up. Tay twirled the bat like one would a baton, a smile ever present on her face. She tossed it up in the air before catching it and holding high above her shoulder.

"Don't worry Larsøn, it'll all be over soon" With that, she brought the bat down on his leg, a sickening crack sounding. Tord screamed out in agony. Tay did it again, and again, blood splattering everywhere. She moved on to his right arm, hitting it again and again until it was almost impossible to tell it had been an arm. 

"Stop! Stop please!" Tord wailed, shaking his head back and forth. Of course, she didn't listen, hitting his gut. It wasn't as hard but it was still painful. Toms blue hoodie was splotched with deep reds and purples.

"Black and blue suits you. I feel bad for, tom was it? His hoodie won't last this playtime" She said, dropping the bat with a loud clunk. Tord whimpered softly, tears staining his pale and bloodied skin. He just wanted to go home, curl up in his parent's arms, and let them protect him from the world's dangers like the childhood he knew so well. Paul and Patryck were probably worried sick, and despite what he was told Tord knew they were looking far and wide for their son. He was tired, so tired. Tord's eyelids grew heavy.

"Don't fall asleep yet, we still have the main event!" Tay cackled, stabbing tord with a syringe filled with a blue liquid. With a gasp, Tords eyes flew open as a rush of energy pumped through his veins. The only thing that stopped him from moving away from the crazed girl in front of him was the pain the bloomed everywhere on his body. There was a loud thump of heavy boots against the stone floor before a man entered the room. He had brown hair brushed to the side and unique black eyes. He wore an outfit similar to tay's, black baggy shirt, black jeans, and black combat boots.

"T-Tim?" Tord croaked. Tim was Tom's older brother, and Tord could never imagine him working here. Tim gave him a sad smile.

"I'm sorry. I really wish things were different…" was all he said, scooping tord up in his arms and walking alongside Tay. So Tim was captured too? How many people's lives were they willing to ruin just to break him? So many people were being put through hell, and it was all his fault. Tord was snapped from his thoughts as he was thrown onto his bed, jostling his arm. He let out a scream of pain and looked up quickly to his torture. Tay had a sadistic grin on her face, In her hand a simple hammer.

Tim grabbed him and shoved him up against the wall, holding him there and stretching out his left arm. Tay grabbed a thick nail a few inches in length and placed the tip to Tords forearm. His eyes widen as realization dawned on him "No, no no no no no nono–" tord's pleas were interrupted by his own violent screams. Tay hammered the nail deep into his flesh, her laughter filling the air along with Tords screams of pain.

Once she was satisfied tords arm was nailed onto the wall, leaving him in pain as he was forced to hold it up so the nail wouldn't rip through his flesh. Tay wasn't done though. No, she was far from it. She grabbed another nail and did it again, this one a few inches away from the first. She did it again and again until at least 12 nails were holding up his left arm. She did the same thing to his right arm, commenting on his screaming offhandedly. Finally, she was done and got off the bed to take a look at her work. 

"Let's go, we have things to do" she giggled almost psychotically. She tossed the hammer over her shoulder, it bouncing and falling behind the bed. She left the room and it was only then tord realized he was alone. Where were they? What did they do to his boyfriends? Were they hurt? This only made Tord sob harder. He couldn't handle the thought of being the reason the loves of his life died. 

The door to his room opened the three men he didn't recognize entered, carrying the three aforementioned men he'd just been worrying over. They were all placed in their beds and the men left as quickly as they came, sliding a medical box between the wall and Edd's bed. They still looked to be peacefully sleeping but Tord didn't care. If someone didn't get him down this instant he was sure he'd die of pain and blood loss. 

"Help! Help Please please I can't -" Tord gasped, finding it hard to get the words out. His throat felt tight and he could hardly breathe, let alone talk. "I can't take it. Please, it hurts, F-fuck! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry please help me. Edd, Tom, Matt!" He screamed out in desperate hope. Thankfully fate seemed to pity him at this moment, as he shouts awoke all three men, and they immediately looked to him 

"Tord! What the hell?" Edd screamed as he jumped up and raced over, tom and matt right by his side. He looked absolutely horrified and at a loss on what to do. His beautiful green eyes were wet with tears

"Tordy!" Matt cried, tears welling up in his crystal blue eyes. He looked around to try and find a solution. The hammer! They didn't know…

"Hammer, it's... It's under the bed. Get it, please hurry up!" Tord said, pain and sobs making it difficult to speak. Edd nodded and quickly retrieved the object in question, cringing at the dried blood that caked its surface.

"Don't worry tord! We'll get you… We'll get you down I promise" edd stammered weakly. He looked on the verge of a breakdown but forced himself to remain strong for Tord's sake. He really didn't deserve them in his life. Edd stood on the bed, moving to Tord's left and taking Matt's overcoat to use as leverage. Tord bit his tongue and focused on matt, who was on his knees in front of him and gently holding on to him. It was comforting, and Tord took in Matt's scent of strawberries.

"Did that girl do this to you?" Tom asked. Tord nodded, unable to make himself talk. All that left his mouth were wails of agony. He didn't know what hurt more; having nails hammered into his arms or having them pulled out.

"Shh, it's gonna be alright," Matt said softly, running his hand through messy brown hair. He tried to focus on the feeling, his nails scratching his scalp. Even so, he couldn't ignore edd prying out another nail, it fell to the bed and joining the pile of the others. Matt murmured soft words of reassurance and comfort but it did nothing for the bleeding communist.

He hummed an unfamiliar tone, and while Tord may not have known what the ginger was humming he did know he liked it and would have to ask him about it on a later date. He desperately wanted to cling onto him, to hold onto to him like a frightened child would do to their parents. But his arms were unusable and even the thought of moving them had him trembling. With a groan, edd pulled the last nail from his arm, it falling limply to his side. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly. It hurt. Everything hurt so much he didn't know if he'd survive. People died of shock all the time.

"Shit! He's losing blood, fast!" Edd said. Tord cracked open his only working eyes to see edd panicking. He lifted his head and mustered up what little strength he had left.

"Box... First- first-aid box by…" tord hung his head, sobbing pitifully. He couldn't get the words out, pain numbing every working part of his brain. He could hardly hold himself up anymore but wasn't ready to rip his arm off.

"By? By where? Tord I need you to tell us" edd practically begged. He looked desperate, and he was crying as if he was experiencing tord's pain.

"Edds bed… be- between the wall… Please just get me down…" tords speech slurred. He was losing his will to fight and his eyes drooped dangerously. Edd nodded and rushed over to find it.

"Tord, babe, I need you to stay with us okay? You need to stay awake." Tom had a worried look on his face as he spoke, using a soft voice usually reserved for late-night talks. 'Talk to us, okay? I know it's hard but talk to us" Edd returned with a white box and pulled out a roll of gauze and alcohol. He poured the alcohol over Tord's arm while matt comforted him. He kept him up so the nails wouldn't rip his arm.

"It hurts... It hurts… It feels like it's tearing through my arm. It feels like my arms the only thing holding me up. I can't take it anymore. I… I" Tord sobbed louder, unable to utter another word. He just wanted to die, crawl into a ditch and never leave. Tord wasn't ready to face the world anymore, he was only 24. Barely even an adult. Edd began to apply the bandages.

"Don't think about that honey, try to focus on something else…" Matt soothed. Tord tried to calm his breathing but it was difficult since edd had started on his other arm.

"Remember that time we went on our anniversary date and bought edd a cola with his name on it?" Tom said. It seemed he was trying to stir some good memories.

"Yeah- yeah I remember that. He was so happy I thought he was gonna explode" tord giggled softly, which was followed by a scream as edd pulled out another nail. His voice was hoarse at this point. 

"I was so happy that day" edd murmured softly. All his focus was going into tord and he seemed a bit hesitant to speak.

"Yeah, tord was blushing like crazy.." Tom said in what appeared to be a teasing manner. Tord had to appreciate him for it.

"Edd's really cute when he's excited" tord bit his lip, more tears streaming down his face and copper filling his mouth from how hard he'd been biting. "Like a... Like a puppy.." His Silver eyes drifted to his arm, watching in horror as edd pried at another nail. The sight of blood and his own bruised and mangled flesh making him feel sick. Tord breathing began to quicken and he wasn't entirely sure why the sight had affected him so badly. All he knew was that he was hyperventilating and his sobs became loud and gut-wrenching.

"Hey, hey look at me," Matt said quickly. "Focus on me and tom okay? Don't look at what Edd's doing."

"Yeah, look at us, it'll all be over soon," Tom said. That was the wrong thing to say as tord shrieked, shaking his head wildly and banging it against the wall several times until matt stopped him, placing his hand behind his head to prevent any damage. Edd and Matt were both shocked and tom was just trying to figure out what he'd done wrong.

"Tom! What did you do?!" Edd cried out.

"I don't know what happened!" Tom said. He had tears in his eyes and a look of guilt was written on his face.

"I'm almost done, just two more" edd groaned. He worked as fast as possible, pulling out the bloody nails a little more roughly than he should have. It didn't matter though because it was his last one. "Done!" 

Tord collapsed limply into Matt's arms, body trembling as he gasped and cried helplessly. After he removed the now damaged hoodie, Edd quickly rinsed out his wounds and bandaged them. He sat down next to matt. "Shh, shh it's okay now. You're safe now, we're here." Matt mumbled softly. Tord wailed in response, clearly in his own world of pain. It was hard to tell what tord was going through but all they knew was it wasn't good. Tom leaned against Matt's shoulder, grabbing Tord's left hand gently and cradling it within his own.

After 10 minutes of calming words and a warm embrace tord finally calmed down. His breathing returned to a normal pace and he snuggled closer to his ridiculously tall boyfriend. His eyes fell upon the now stained and ripped hoodie. "Sorry bout your hoodie tom" tord whimpered tiredly.

"It's fine tord, it's not your fault anyway," Tom said. Edd smiled, removing his own hoodie and offering it to tord. He looked startled at the fabric.

"But I might mess it up.." Tord said. Edd only smiled.

"I don't care, just take it. I don't want you to be cold" edd said sternly. Tord sighed in defeat and allowed edd to put the hoodie over him. It was big on his thin body, but it still provided him with that warmth and safety he couldn't have. The sweet smell of cola enveloped him and he went back to cuddling matt

"There, see? All better…" Matt smiled.

"All better" tord repeated. His eyes drooped but he fought to keep them open. Fear of worrying his boyfriend overriding his need for sleep.

"It's okay now, go to sleep. We'll be here…" tom said gently, brushing a strand of caramel hair out of tord's face. Tord was really in no place to object, so he simply sub came to the calling of sleep.

* * *

_3 months ago_

"GODDAMNIT!" Patryck screamed, slumping over and tugging roughly on his hair. He failed! He not only failed at his job as Red Leader's right-hand man but as his parent. In just a few moments everything was ripped from him. "H-he's gone… Tord's gone and we may never see him again!" Patryck's voice cracked with emotion. 

"Don't talk like that!" Paul pulled him closer and Patryck could see those Silver eyes wet with tears. "We're going to get our son back. Fuck, our son is going to be fine!"

"He's been kidnapped by the black army, the strongest army to ever exist! Tord is bleeding out and so broken he didn't even put up a fight!" Patryck sobbed loudly, staring aimlessly at the burning pile of rubble. As much as he wanted to believe tord would get out of this the rational part of his brain told him the chances were very low. 

"Patryck!" Golden eyes met grey. Paul looked extremely hurt and Patryck felt bad for making him this upset. "Tord is the strongest person I know, and I KNOW he won't just kick the bucket. S-so we're going back to the base, fixing ourselves, and finding our child" determination burned behind those pretty Silver eyes. Patryck nodded slowly, picking himself off the ground. He had a hand pressed firmly over the bleeding gun wound in his stomach. 

Paul helped him to the car and messily wrapped his abdomen in gauze before jumping in the driver's seat and speeding off. Patryck forced back any tears and put on a stone-cold face. He couldn't afford to show any weakness. "It's going to be okay"

"I know that. I'm going to make sure we find him" Patryck said. He kept his eyes straight forward. Paul spared a worried glance his way. Finally, they arrived at the London base and made their way to the infirmary. The nurse didn't ask any questions, just grabbed a few medical supplies and ushered them over to two available cots. She was quick in bandaging up their wounds. Once fixed, the two men hurried out.

"Patryck…" Paul mumbled in a slightly worried tone.

"Gather our strongest men, we will start our search tomorrow morning. We shall meet in sector A meeting room in 20 minutes.." Patryck said. His face was blank and his voice was emotionless.

"Of course." Paul sighed. They walked their separate ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not really proud of this but I want to get this out since I know i'd never get it done otherwise. I hope to get one done by Christmas! I hope you enjoyed this :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanted to get a chapter out but my inspiration is lacking. Here's some flash backs.

_2 1/2 months before day 1_

It was a normal day for the trio. Nightmares and memories about 'that day' weren't as frequent and they could actually have a calm day. Edd and Tom were sitting on Edd's couch, watching some dumb Disney movie. After looking down at his empty flask Tom decided to get up to grab stone more alcohol. "Hey, can you get me some cola?" Edd called over his shoulder.

"And why would I do that?" Tom asked.

"Because you're up and a good boyfriend." 

"Yeah yeah, whatever." Tom rolled his eyes. He went back to rummaging through the fridge. Suddenly matt burst in.

"Hey, guys!" Matt grinned, plopping down next to edd and pecking him on the cheek. Pink dusted the brunette's cheeks.

"Hi, matt," Edd said with a giggle. Matt giggled and kissed him again. Tom scoffed as he walked up and dropped a can of cola onto the couch.

"Lovey-dovey saps," Tom said. Edd and Matt looked at each other with an evil grin before grabbing toms sleeve and pulling him down. He crashed into their laps."Hey!" 

"We shale smother you in our love," edd said. He tickled tom ruthlessly while matt peppered him with kisses. Tom couldn't help but laugh, face a pretty red. 

"Stop it!" Tom giggled breathlessly. 

"Fine fine" edd said, allowing tom to sit up. He panted, wiping sweat from his forehead.

"I hate you guys" he pouted as he was once again held in their arms.

"You love us and you know it," Matt smirked, kissing his cheek. They once again focused on the movie. Edd closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of having his boyfriends near him. It wasn't every day they had downtime like this. Between getting settled in and getting new jobs to pay for the bills it always seemed like their schedules were never aligned. Edd was startled back into reality when there was a knock at his door.

"Not it!" Tom shouted immediately. Matt followed with his own.

"Not it."

"You guys suck" edd groaned, dragging himself up. He walked over to the front door and pulled it open. Standing there were two men. One was tall with long brown hair pulled into a ponytail and strange bangs. His golden eyes matched his hoodie. Next to him was a shorter man with short brown hair and thick eyebrows. His hoodie was pink and he had silver eyes that reminded him too much of tord. "Hello?"

"Hello! We just wanted to know if you happen to know anyone by the name of Tord?" The man with the big eyebrows asked. He briefly flashed a photo of him, pale skin and brown hair spiked up into two hair horns.

"Yes." Edd breathed. "Why?" The two men shared a worried look.

"He's recently gone missing. We were hoping you've seen him as of late." The one with the strange fringe sighed sadly. "But I can already tell you haven't." He looked deeply depressed by this and edd kind of felt bad. The short one gently grabbed his hand.

"We're sorry to interrupt. Please pretend we weren't here." The two of them turned and began to leave. A thousand questions ran through his head and edd knew he needed to pick one before the two left for good.

"Wait!" Edd stammered. They stopped and turned to him. Now he was on the spot. "Can I have your numbers? In case I see him?" 

"Of course!" The man in yellow said, actually smiling. He gave edd his phone to put his number in. His gold eyes were filled with hope and edd felt good knowing he did that."I'm Patryck by the way"

"And I'm Paul" the other man chimed in.

"I'm edd. I hope you find him" edd forced a smile. They returned it before leaving. Edd sighed and closed the door.

"Who was that?" Tom asked as edd returned.

"Don't worry about it. Let's just finish the movie" edd sighed, snuggling into Matt's side.

________  
 _4 weeks before day 1_.

Paul entered his bunker after a long day of battle planning and training. His body felt sore. He felt slightly disturbed and worried when he saw Patryck sitting, staring blankly at a wall. Paul took his overcoat off and hung it over a hanger before carefully sitting down next to him.

"Patryck…?" Paul mumbled in concern.

"It's been two months," Patryck said blankly. He didn't meet his eye, hardly even seem to notice him.

"I know…" Paul looked down. He didn't want to think about it, he was trying hard to do his best.

"I, I.." Patryck suddenly broke down. Paul flinched, immediately wrapping his arms around his husband.

"Pat! Patryck dear what's wrong?" Paul gasped. Patryck gripped his sweater so tightly his knuckles turned white.

"I'm scared" he croaked. "I so so scared. I know I've been all tough all this time but, but I am so scared. I'm scared we'll never see him again, or when we find him it'll be too late!" Patrick began to hyperventilate. His shoulders shook uncontrollably.

"Pat! Patryck, I need you to look at me!" Paul said softly. "I know it's scary, it's been a while and we still don't have anything. But I need you to breathe alright?" Golden eyes peered up at him.

"But- but-!"

"Hey, hey it's okay. You can cry, I know you need to but you need to breathe." Paul soothed. He whipped away a tear, only for it to be quickly replaced. Paul kissed him quickly before cradling him to his chest.

"I love you" he sobbed. "I love you so much. I just want us to be a happy family again." 

"We'll be happy again, I promise." Paul sighed. He didn't know, he honestly didn't know. All he wanted was for this be some twisted dream. 

"What if he's dead?" Patryck wined.

"He's not. Tord is strong, he won't go down without a fight." Paul muttered as tears blurred his vision.

"I'm sorry…" he croaked.

"Don't be sorry." Paul sighed. Patryck continued to sob, and Paul let him. Maybe this would help him, help both of them.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The schedule is new every other week end. So the next update should be Jan 17th or 18th.

They sat in silence for a while, to in shock to really react. Matt's hands clenched and unclenched in worry. His breathing was slightly uneven but he seemed to be holding himself just fine. Edd looked less put together, shaking ever so slightly with tears in his bright green eyes. Tom looked even worse, shaking a bit worse with tears freely falling down flushed cheeks. Tord whimpered and whined, gasping out as if he was choking in his sleep.

  
"I'm... I'm really worried about him" Matt said. He shakily ran his fingers through Tord's hair. Despite how calm handled the situation he was truly horrified. How could he not be? 

  
"Oh god, oh my god they're going to kill him" Edd gasped softly, moving closer to Tord. His eyes suddenly didn't seem as bright. "We just got him back only to lose him again."

  
"We're not going to let him Edd," Tom said. Even he looked unsure of his words. 

  
"We couldn't do anything when they nailed him to a wall!" Edd snapped, glaring at his lovers before looking away. "What power do we even have?"

  
"Edd!" Tom and Matt shouted at the same time. The shouts woke Tord, his unfocused grey eyes opening. He whimpered in pain, withering under Matt weakly.

  
"Sorry, Tord. Just go back to sleep, alright?" Matt soothed. Tord hiccuped, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. After a few moments, Tord fell back asleep. "Now Edd, can you please not think like that?"

  
"I know Tord, and i know how secretive or just straight up stubborn he can be. He won't tell them, even if he dies because of it. " Edd sighed. It was the truth as much as the other 2 wanted to deny it. "He hid a whole army from us for 8 years, he can do it for a few months."

  
"We'll just have to do our best. It might be hard, but so has everything else in our life!" Tom said sternly, reaching out to hold Edd's hand. Edd met his eyes, a tear falling down his cheek.

  
"I just don't don't to lose him" Edd choked. He laid his head against Matt's shoulder, holding onto Tom's hand tightly. "I love him, after everything I still love him."

  
"We won't" Tom mumbled, voice unsure. He laid against Matt's other shoulder, blinking away tears harshly. "We aren't losing him anytime soon."

  
_____

  
Tord groned, pain blooming everywhere. He was scared to open his eyes, yet the thought of falling back into horrible nightmares was more than enough to make him force open his silver eyes. He found himself lying on top of a sleeping Matts, the gentle rise and fall of his chest giving him a soft comfort knowing he was alive and breathing. Tom and Edd were on either side of him, calm and peaceful expressions adorning their faces. It helped to calm Tord and the pounding in his chest. That was until he remembered the dream, tays words echoing in his heads. Screaming in his ears so loud, so fucking loud. 

  
'You're a monster, Tord. Everyone you love is being put through hell and it's all your fault!' Tord squeezed his eyes shut tightly, fighting off the oncoming panic attack. He didn't want to think about it, think about the intrusiveness words that invaded his thoughts. It was right though, he knew it was right. He tried to bring up his hand to clear the tears but couldn't. Blueish grey eyes widen as his breathing began to quicken. He couldn't feel them, how hadn't he noticed? He couldn't feel his arms, could move them even the slightest. A broken sob made its way past his lips as he strained, agonizing pain shooting through his arm as he managed to move it a little bit. Since he was right next to them it wasn't surprising that his boyfriend's immediately woke, already wearing looks of fear. 

  
"Tord!" Edd gasped. Matt sat up slowly but the movement still made Tord shriek in pain. "Tord?"

  
"Tord honey I need you to breathe alright?" Matt said shakily. He ran his fingers through Tords hair, motioning for Edd to grab the first aid box. 

  
"My arms… my arms" he whimpered. It seemed to be more emotionally painful than physical. Either way, it still hurt like shit. Edd grabbed the last of the bandages and moved to Tord's left arm.

  
"I know…." Matt choked slightly. "I know." Edd began to reapply the gauze while Tom took care of the other arm.

  
"I can't feel them. I can't… I can't!" 

  
"Tord…" Tom breathed. He brushed the hair from Tord's forehead, peppering butterfly kisses along his hairline to calm him down slightly. it actually worked better than he thought, though he was still emotional. "I'm sure it'll get better." 

  
"If I can't use my arms I'm useless."

  
"Tord you're not useless!" Edd gasped. It was like just the insinuation that Tord thought that of himself was impossible.

  
"I'm a useless leader, I'm a worthless boyfriend!" Tord babbled. 

  
"Tord, you are not a worthless boyfriend. You aren't worthless.." Edd soothed, rubbing his back gently. This didn't seem to calm the crying norski.

  
"I can't even keep you guys safe!"

  
"Tord this is not your fault," Tom said sharply. Tord didn't meet his eyes, didn't want to see the pain and sadness in his inky black eyes.

  
"They'll hurt you. They'll hurt you because I love you, being near you puts you in danger!" Tord sobbed, voice cracking horribly. Tears flowed like rivers down his flushed cheeks. "I don't want you to die because of me, I never did. I'm sorry"

  
"Tord, we know why we're all here.." Tom started but was immediately cut off.

  
"No! No, I won't tell them, I can't… Please no, I can't. I worked too hard, I can't let them all down." 

  
"Tord don't you think you're more important?" Edd mumbled. 

  
"I'm sorry…" was all Tord said. Over and over again like a broken record.

  
"Goddamn it, Tord! They're going to kill you if you don't tell them. Why are you always so goddamn selfish?" Tom said in a pained voice, tugging on his hair. He was being selfish, wasn't he? Leaving them after all this time only to let them watch his horrible and slow death.

  
"I won't let them down any more than I have. They'll all die, die because of me."

  
"So you'd rather die?" Edd said bitterly. It wasn't fair, he couldn't take It. He'd hurt them either way and there was no possible way to make them all happy.

  
"They've fought all their lives, I won't let their deaths be in vain. They don't deserve it!" Tord whimpered. All of them joined his army for the betterment of all of the UK, to fight for their rights. Screw what the media said about the red army all of Tord's soldiers were wonderful people who only fought for equality. Was it that surprising that he didn't want them to die?

  
"You don't either. You can't just throw away your life like this." Matt said. His grip on Tord tightened, almost to the point it hurt.

  
"I'm replaceable, one death over hundreds. They can get a new leader, you all have each other. Paul, Pat, and Pay all have each other too. "

  
"AND IF YOU JUST TOLD THEM THEN WE'D HAVE YOU!" Tom cried, tears rapidly falling as he did not attempt to clean his face. "I DON'T WANT TO LIVE KNOWING I LET YOU DIE, WHY CAN'T YOU JUST THINK OF US FOR ONCE!? I ALREADY DEALT WITH THAT FOR THE THREE MONTHS AFTER THE INCIDENT!" Tord flinched at the sudden shout, but he just responded in a horse and sad tone.

  
"You don't understand, do you? If I just stay quiet they'll give up and kill me. I'll be dead like I should be, and you be set free. But if I tell them, they'll kill you." Tord's voice cracked, fingers twisting and painfully tight in Matts hoodie. "Everyone I love will die and I'll be left all alone. I'm sorry, it's selfish and I know but I'm not ready to lose you like this. I've been dealing with guilt for 8 years, I can't deal with this."

  
"Tord…" Edd sighed. It was clear at this point there would be no reasoning with him, that nothing could be said that could change his mind. So instead they comforted him, murmuring soft words of comfort or memories of better times. Gentle kisses and cuddles lulled them to sleep, and hopeful promises of a better tomorrow hung in the air.

  
_____

  
Paul was a very smart man. He was also very observant. Putting two and two together came easily with him. Which is exactly why he was always able to tell when his husband Patryck wasn't feeling too well or was neglecting his self-care. Currently, he was changing into his uniform, his previous one having been dirted from a day's work. Paul could see how tired he was, how his chest rattled with each breath. And the purple and blue bruises poked out from beneath his binder. 

  
Paul knew how Patryck struggled with internalized transphobia from his parents growing up. That he really tried to hide the fact he wasn't born in the right body. "Patryck, how long have you been wearing your binder for?" Paul asked. Patryck flinched, turning to him briefly before looking away. "Patryck. I want to know, please don't lie to me"

  
"At… at least 12 hours.." He said, having the decency to sound ashamed. 

  
"12- 12 HOURS?" Paul gasped. "You aren't supposed to wear it more than 8! Please tell me you aren't still wearing it!"

  
"Paul I have to train with our soldiers.." He said. Patryck looked embarrassed, but he didn't look like he was going to give in so easily.

  
"No."

  
"Wha- what to do you mean no?" Patryck asked. 

  
"I mean no! You aren't training with it, I won't let you. You know damn well you aren't supposed to work out in a binder anyways." Paul said calmly.

  
"I'm not going out without it! I don't want them to see me like that!" Patryck said through clenched teeth.

  
"Then I guess you're not going out. Stay here, I'll train with them." Paul said curtly.

  
"You're not my fucking mom! I can take care of myself!" Patryck growled.

  
"I'M YOUR HUSBAND! IT'S MY JOB TO WORRY ABOUT YOU!" Paul snapped. "You've been so caught up in work you haven't even tried to take care of yourself! I will not stand by and let this happen! You are taking that thing off, sitting down and resting !" Paul's voice held absolutely no room for argument. Patryck flinched, tears welling up in his eyes. Paul sat down next to him and gently rubbed his arm.

  
"Hey! Hey, I'm sorry for yelling alright? I know I'm angry but I still had no right to yell" Paul said softly. 

  
"No, no it's fine. I need it. I didn't think about that" Patryck hiccupped, messily cleaning his face. Paul sighed. "I'm sorry for making you worry so much."

  
"Promise me you'll try and take better care of yourself. Especially with that" his eyes flickered down. "When we have the time, we'll get you chest surgery. It'll be easier now we're in London."

  
"Yeah, I promise." Patryck sniffled. "Starting with a nice bubble bath!" He gave him a soft smile. Paul returned it. 

  
"You dork" Paul shook his head. He stood and shrugged on his overcoat. "I'll be back in a few hours, bye" he exited their bunker.

  
"Bye!" Patryck's smile fell and he let out a heavy sigh. He knew the consequences of his actions and was afraid to face them. Avoiding it wasn't making it any easier, but it was what pat did best. Taking a deep breath Patryck forced himself up and into the bathroom. He stripped down to his boxers and binder, staring into the mirror with a sinking feeling. 'Ugly ugly wrong, I'm wrong. This isn't my body I'm broken. I'm wrong. Wrong wrong wrong!'

  
He shook his head, clearing away his dumb thoughts. Dysphoria can fucking jump off a microwave. He removed his binder, almost sobbing at the wave of pain that washed over him."Ow!" Bruises littered his chest, and it was only then that he realized how hard it'd been to breath up until that point. "Paul was right. I really need to take better care of myself."

  
He sighed and turned away from the mirror, turning on the water and dumping in a bunch of soup. He moved his hand around in the bubble-filled water as it filled the tube, feeling a smile tug at his lips at the idea of relaxing in the warm water. Turning the water off, pat removed his boxers and slipped into the water. He groaned, sinking down so his nose was just above the water. 

  
When was the last time he could truly relax? It must've been before Tord even suggested the dumb plan for his robot. Whatever, patryck promised he would relax. He cupped a few bubbles in his hands and was surprised to hear himself giggle. Guess he was fulfilling his promise.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Consciousness was always a curse. It seemed like whenever the Norwegian was awake something bad happened. Considering this was the second time today he'd woken, (was it today? Or had he been asleep for more than a few hours) he knew it was probably facing his boyfriends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the short chapter but don't worry, I've gotten more time on my phone and I've got the next fee chapters all planed out so who knows, maybe I'll be able to do weekly updates.
> 
> Oh, and appreciate this chapter, because as of next chapter things are gonna get rough.

Consciousness was always a curse. It seemed like whenever the Norwegian was awake something bad happened. Considering this was the second time today he'd woken, (was it today? Or had he been asleep for more than a few hours) he knew it was probably facing his boyfriends. Opening his grey eyes to find Edd, matt, and tom talking worryingly over him he knew he was correct.

"Tord?" came Edd' shaky voice the moment he noticed Tord was awake. Tears already threatened to fall as he helped Tord sit up. "Tord, oh my god are you okay? Please tell me you're okay, you look horrible!"

Tord opened his mouth to speak, but the voices screaming in his head shut him up. **_You're a burden, don't worry them by telling them things they don't need to know. Knowing what you went through will only make it worse. Don't try to comfort them, you'll only hurt them more.'_ **

"Tord? Tord please say something" Tom urged, only to be met with complete silence. Tord couldn't even meet his eyes so he looked down at his lap, half expecting to see the damage done earlier. Oh, Edd's hoodie was back. How nice, he would focus on that now. No blood, that was great, he'd hate to get this hoodie messed up too.

"Please say something, anything… Tord.." Edd's voice wavered dangerously. Still, Tord couldn't bring himself to speak. The voice was right, there wasn't anything he could say to help that wasn't a lie.

"What did they do, what did they tell you," Tom said suddenly, narrowing his eyes. "They had to say something to make you be quiet. What the hell was it!?" Tord tried to speak, to say something to ease their minds despite the voice in his own, but the only thing that left his mouth was a pitiful whimper. It hurt just to move his tongue! 

"Are you not talking because you don't want to, or can't?" Matt asked, and the shameful glance away told him his answer. Matt was a lot smarter than he normally let on and it was that smartness that was going to be Tord's downfall.

"So they did do something… What? What the fuck did they do to you?" Tom looked close to tears. Actually, he did have tears in those void black eyes.

"Don't… cry my love" Tord slurred despite the pain, accent heavy. He held toms cheek gently as his lip trembled. Despite Tord's words tears still spilled down tom's face. It was painful to talk but he at least tried.

"At least there's less blood than last time," Edd said, trying to lighten the mood. Tord nodded in agreement. It was always a good day when the blood was kept to a minimum. If it meant it didn't worry them even more so.

"What did they do? I just want to know." Tom asked with a sniffle. Tord bit his lip slightly before sticking out his tongue. It was burnt and welted from the burning rod Tay had pressed against it. Even his taste buds couldn't survive.

"Oh my god.." Edd whimpered, covering his mouth. It must've looked ugly so Tord quickly put his tongue back in his mouth. He knew what they wanted to ask and gave them the answer.

"Hot... Hot coals.." Tord did his best to talk without this tongue, making his voice sound odd. Tears slipped silently down his face.

"It's... It's alright now my love. You don't need to talk if it hurts." Tom said, mimicking tord as he wiped the tears from Tord's face. Tord couldn't help the tiny smirk that spread across his face.

"My, how the… tables have turned." Tord smiled lopsidedly. Tom chuckled at tord's halfhearted attempt at humor in a time like this. He plucked Tord nose playfully, quiet laughter filling the small room.

"Oh hush." It felt weird, joking around and laughing when they were literally being held captive. It felt good though, to smile, to laugh, to joke. The last time they could so freely enjoy themselves was before Tord left the first time. Maybe… Maybe it wasn't a bad idea to have at least a little fun. Gotta keep your hopes and sanity up, right?

____

Opening his eye tord was once again in that horrible room. It'd been a while since the last time he'd been here, but he had no way of telling just how long. He didn't even know how long it been since he was first brought here. Looking around, he saw not much new, as tay was in a corner messing with something. He was chained to a chair, which was odd as normally they just let him be, and was missing his hoodie and shirt. He hoped that Edd's hoodie was okay. When he tried to move, he found he couldn't, not even his pinky.

"What the hell..?" Tord mumbled, confusion evident. This got Tay's attention as she spun around to face him. She must've seen the look of confusion on his face because she quickly answered the question he didn't even have time to ask.

"It's a sedative," Tay said matter-of-factly. "As much as I enjoy your spunk today's activities require you to be still." She was acting calmer than usual, and it was seriously freaking tord out. He wasn't about to comments on it thought of fear she'd change her demeanor.

"Activities? Do I look like a fucking toddler?" He said once her words registered fully in his head.

"Okay, let's make an agreement. You be good and I'll go easy on you since I'm in a really bad mood." Tay said, pinching the bridge of her nose. It was a tempting offer but tord's pride refused it. What kind of war leader would he be if he just gave in to his enemy's?

"Fuck you. I'll never submit to you." tord spat.

"Of course." Tay shook his head and went back to whatever she was doing. The room fell into silence, something that never lasted in this kind of environment. But somehow it did, tord thinking about his loves and Tay setting things up. That was until she was finished, and approach tord with a heated whip. It was burning white and promised pain to the unfortunate receiver was. In this case, it's him. 

"Get the hell away from me!" Tord screamed, trying desperately to move away despite the fact he couldn't feel his own body. Of course, she didn't listen, she never did. Instead, she harshly cracked the whip, leave a deep burn across tord's chest. She did this again and again, leave burns and welts forming across Tord's chest and abdomen. Tord glared at her with teary eyes when she finally dropped the whip, the heat having left it. He murmured 'bitch' under his breath as he did his best to compose himself.

"Such a dirty mouth. Why don't we fix that." She said, smiling for the first time that day. She skipped off to the corner again and tord finally notice what it was she'd been working on as she dragged it closer. _A barrel of hot coals._ The rod that stuck out of it was a reddish-white color, probably from the heat. Tay grabbed two metal rods that looked like big stapled and forced them onto each side of tords mouth, holding his mouth open. Tord made noises of disapproval the whole time, and for a short while after.

"Hm… Could've sworn that we had a cloth or something. I'd rather not burn myself.." Tay said, tapping her foot in thought. She began to search the room for something to protect her hands.

_'Please don't find anything, please don't find anything' T_ ord thought desperately, watching her with wide eyes. Unfortunately for him, tay did find something, letting out a happy.

"Ah-ha!" Tay popped back up with a thick towel. Picking up a large set of pliers with one hand and the rod with the other clothed one tay stood eagerly in front of Tord. She grabbed his tongue and pull it out As far as it would go, holding the rod inches from his tongue. 

In great suspension, she slowly lowered it, a fascinating smile on her face. A blood-curdling scream filled the air as the rod made contact with his tongue. She pressed down hard, holding it there until the metal went cold. She tossed it to the ground with a smile and pulled out a syringe filled with a pink liquid. "Night night tord! See ya soon!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The format is a little weird for this one but I still really like it. Also i'm finally writing tord in character for the torture part! We all know he would talk shit and bad mouth her even if he was bleeding out.
> 
> Oh! I want you all to know I've made a discord! Come join, yell at me or just chat. I'm improving it whenever I can.  
> https://discord.gg/P5raqyU


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'You don't know what its like to be nothing at all. When the night turns cold, my thoughts feel like stone'~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I will now use song lyrics as chapter summaries, shout if if you know the lyrics. I'm only a little of schedule.  
> No beta we die like the illiterate fools we are.

Paul sighed, hugging his legs to his chest. He was back on that hill, the one he last saw tord. The one where his entire life came crashing down. Why? He wasn't quite sure of that himself. Maybe because it was surprisingly calming. The base was so loud and hectic all the time Paul just needed some peace and quiet. Pat was just a few feet away, sitting on the roof of the car reading a book. 3 months, 3 long horrible months. A week prior edd and them went missing, and with them dating tord Paul knew it had to be the black army's doing.

"Please be okay." Paul whispered softly, tears brimming his eyes. He so desperately wanted this all to be some stupid fever dream. "You're strong, i know you are. Don't let them win, please don't let them win." Tears rolled down his cheeks, his words so quiet he himself barely heard them. Paul quickly clean his face, only for the tears to be replaced. All the emotions, the feeling he'd worked so hard to hide began to spill. 

No! No no no! He was doing so well, he could break now! Paul needed to be strong, fr tord and Patryck. For everyone! He had to. _Had to_ **_had to had had—_ ** "Paul!" Blinking, watery silver meet worried gold. Oh, he must have been loud. "Paul what's wrong?" Pat asked, worry evident. Paul messily cleared his face, though it was much too late.

"Its nothing, don't worry." Paul lied, looking away. Why wouldn't the tears stop?

"Bullshit. Paul don't lie to me, you've never cried like this" Patryck narrowed his eyes at the other. 

"I said I'm fine!" Paul's voice cracked, and while he tried to sound angry he fell short. He sounded like a hypocrite, didn't he?

"Remember how you told me not to bottle up my emotions? That its okay to cry?" Pat asked gently, trying to get Paul to open up to him. It was always harder to follow your own advice than to give it to others.

"I have to be strong, I have to. I can't do this." Paul whined, hugging himself tightly. "I'm fine, I promise I'm fine." Patryck gently held his face, staring into his eyes. 

"Paul, you know you're not fine." 

"No, no, no no. Don't do this, please" Paul pleaded. Pat always knew how to get into his head and he hated it. He squeezed his eyes shut, unable to meet his gaze.

"Paul, look at me." Patryck waited until he had the other's attention. "Its okay to cry. It doesn't make you weak. Isn't that what you always say? Crying is a good thing, you shouldn't bottle it up." Patryck said, holding Paul in his arms.

Paul could feel his carefully constructed wall crumble as emotions crashed into him, leaving his choking on his own breathes. He buried his face deep into Patryck chest, grip painfully tight. Ugly sobs clawed at his throat. He always thought he was an ugly crier.

Unlike Pat, Paul didn't talk or babble when he cried, the only sounds leaving his mouth being sobs and whimpers. He always bottled up his emotions until he broke, so there was so much going on his mind he couldn't even begin to for a sentence. Similarly, Patryck was quiet, only able to give silent comfort. He wasn't like Paul, not really knowing how to comfort people and just being there, being the shoulder Paul needed to lean on. Pat combed his fingers through his hair and rocked them back and forth like he did to tord as a child.

Paul tried to focus on his breathing, it was Better than his thoughts. Happy thoughts, right? Paul did his best top think positive. _'Everything is going to be fine, we'll find everyone and they'll be okay. Tord boyfriends won't be too angry with him and they can make up! Everything can go back to normal. But it's already been three months… what if we never find him, or they kill him? What if he's so hurt we can't fix him? Or they turn him in? What if-'_ No! Paul shook his head as if to rid his mind of the intrusive thoughts.

A tiny voice in the back of his head told him this was his fault. He tried to dismiss it but it grew louder and louder until he couldn't hear himself over it! **'Your fault! This is all your fault! You should've been faster, then they never would've gotten him. You should've fought them! You weren't even that hurt, you could've done more. This is all your fault, you can't even be strong. You're weak, can't even keep your family safe'**

It was wrong! He wasn't weak! It wasn't his fault. There wasn't anything he could've done! **'Lier'** it whispered, words like poison, filling his with pain. ' _You're wrong. You're wrong_!'

"It's not my fault." He whined, not even realizing he spoken the words aloud until he received an expected response.

"Don't blame yourself, there was nothing we could've done." Patryck said softly. His words cut through his thoughts like a knife, shocking him. Wide teary eyes looked up, terror and helplessness in his endless silver pools. Patryck gently pressed his lips to his lovers, conveying the love and adoration words never could. "It was never your fault." 

'It isn't my fault' he repeated in his mind, nodding and hugging pat closer. He only then realized he was hyperventilating, so he forced himself to focus on his breathing again. 

"Tord's strong. He'll get through this." Paul sniffled. Patryck hummed in agreement, holding him just a little tighter. After a long time, Paul's sobs reduced to sniffles as he drifted off.

"You're strong too. Stronger than you'll ever know." Patryck whispered, kissing his forehead. With a sigh , pat picked him up and carried him to the car. Paul was such a peaceful sleeper.

_____

Tay watched as the little red car pull off. Her green eyes landed on her partner, kai, as they pulled off and began to trail them. Kai turned to tay and gave her a tiny smirk. "I hope your seatbelt is on, things are about to get bumby." They giggled, grip tightening on the steering wheel. They pulled up right next to the car, being able to look perfectly into the driver's window. Tay and pat met eyes, and a look of recognition formed on his face. It was honestly laughable. 

Tay waved with a devilish smirk. "Do it." Kai, without warning, crashed right into the vehicle beside her. It was sent tumbling off the road and into the forest-type area. Luckily no one else was on the road so there was no trouble pulling over and hopping out to grab their victims.

Walking down into the trees, they stumbled upon the wreckage. The car was flipped over upside down and one of its occupants had been thrown. Paul was only a few feet away, glass in his skin and a big gases on the right side of his forehead. His arm was bent at an odd angle, and it was safe to assume to was broken. 

Patryck was still in the car, and after carefully dragging him from the car, he seemed to be relatively fine. He only had a few cuts and scrapes. With only a little trouble, they managed to bring both the men to the car, tie them up and set off to the base. 

_________

_Memory from childhood_

Tord whimpered softly as light flashed through his bedroom window. He hated thunderstorms. Bright flashes of light that left him stunned, and loud claps of thunder that scared the little norski. What wasn't there to be scared about? Another clap of thunder sent him tumbling out of his bed in a bundle of blankets with a choked sob. He shakily stood and barreled into his closest, crashing back down into a shivering heap. Tords favorite places to hide when he was scared he or having an attack. 

It was small, quiet, and comfy. He could curl up in his blankets and his fathers stolen hoodies. Tord took a few shaky breaths, trying to think of happy thoughts things like his dad taught him. His best friends, tom, edd, and matt, coming to england for the first time, getting to decorate his new room— _Boom_! "Papa! Dad!" Tord wailed, burying his face in his blanket. He felt like he was going to die.

"Tord?" Peaking out with glossy silver eyes, tord saw his father's, Paul and Patryck, kneeling down in front of him. Patryck smiled softly down at him. "Is everything okay, Sonnenblümchen? What's wrong?"

"The-the storm. It loud and scary." Tord whimpered. Another boom of thunder sent him crashing into pat's chest with a choked cry. "Papa! Få det til å stoppe, vær så snill!"

Shh, it's alright my Liebchen, we're here now." Patryck hushed softly, rubbing gentle circles in his back. His voice was soft and calming, and tord always felt safe in his arms. Patryck and Paul were super strong and nothing could hurt tord when he was with them. 

"Remember tord, it can't hurt you. They're just noises." Paul said. Their grey eyes met as tord registered his words. He nodded and messily cleaned his face. "How about some hot chocolate."

"Yeah!" Tord cheered, giggling at the glare pat gave Paul. He knew he wasn't supposed to have anything sweet after 20:00 but it'd make him feel better. With a fond sigh, Patryck stood with tord in his arms. " I sleep with you too?" 

"I don't see why not, Patryck?" Paul turned to pat, a hopeful grin on his face. Tord gently tugged on his hoodie with a teary smile.

"Please?" _Boom_ "papa!" Patryck soothed him, moving them into the living room. 

"Of course. Are you gonna be my brave little soldier?" Patryck asked with a soft smile, setting tord down on the couch. Tord nodded, standing on the couch proudly.

"I'm the bravest little soldier! I save you from mean storm." He said, puffing out his chest to prove he wasn't scared. Pau and pat smiled softly at their son.

"You're my hero!" Paul smiled. Picking him up and spinning him around with playful laughs. Tord giggled, losing himself in glee. He didn't even notice the raging storm outside. Breathlessly, pau set tord down on the floor. "Let's grab some blankets and start the fire, eh?" 

"I can get blankets for dad!" Tord said. Paul was scared of small dark spaces, but tord loved them ap he wouldn't mind. Paul smiled and ruffled his fluffy hair.

"Thanks kærlighed!" Paul grinned thankfully. Tord nodded and skipped off to the closet in which they were held.

He grabbed a huge stack of colored blankets, the stack almost taller than he was. Luckily tord was the best soldier around and was able to navigate the halls without knocking over any of his papa's nice flower pots. The crackling of the fire place welcomed tord as he entered the living room. 

"Huh?" In one swift motion Tord dropped the stack and dove behind the couch. Paul blinked in confusion and looked around. "Oh no... where did my little tordy go?" 

Tord stifled a giggle, army crawled across the floor. Patryck gave him a curious glance from the stove, grabbing mugs from the cabinet. Tord snuck up behind Paul and jumped out.

"Boo!" Tord screamed, Paul squeaking in fear.

"Tord! Geez, you scared me" Paul gasped, clutching his chest. Tord giggled and burying his face in Paul's chest.

"Sorry dad." Tord smiled, enjoying the warmth. Paul huffed affectionately, grabbing a fluffy pink blanket and wrapping them both in it.

"Its okay tord." Paul sighed, burying his head in tords hair. They cuddled together for a little longer before Patryck joined them on the floor, holding a tray with three mugs on it. They were filled with hot chocolate and topped with whipped cream and shaved chocolate. 

Tord happily grabbed his, a red cat themed mug, and cuddled back into Paul's side. Paul grabber his own white mug and Patryck left his remaining one on the tray, a light yellow mug with the words gay agenda. "Thank you papa!"

"Of course tordy." Patryck smiled, resting his head on Paul's shoulder with Tord between them. "There's no need to be scared when we're here. We'll never let anything happen to you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, Paul and pat are back. Oh, and yeah a pau break down was absolutly needed. Strong characters can cry too goddamn it. 
> 
> If you want to know, pau is speaking danish, pat German, and tord Norwegian.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We go down like the illiterate fools we are.

Patryck groaned, opening his eyes and wondering what happened. Any sleepiness left him as he took in his surroundings. He was sitting at a table, chains bounding him to his chair. The last thing he remembered was holding Paul as he cried, how had he gotten here?

His gold eyes finally landed on the only other person in the room, Paul. He had a bandage patch covering his left temple. Memories suddenly flashed through his head. The drive to the base, seeing that girl next to him, her care crashing into his, the car tumbling off the road. Now he was worried about Paul, was he okay? 

Apparently, he was because tired silver eyes opened, tiredness quickly being replaced by confusion and fear. Their eyes met, but before either of them could speak, a young woman entered the room. The same woman who took their son.

"What the hell do you want from us?" Patryck spat, glaring at her. She rolled her eyes and sat down at the table.

"Such a rude welcome! You should be thankful he patched you up!" She huffed. 

"I don't care about that, why the hell are we here!?" Pat pressed, having none of this girls bullshit.

"Isn't it obvious? We want to know where your base is." She smiled. It was true, tord had been kidnapped before over information. Though I'm those times the army was never this strong, and they usually got him back within a day or two.

"Well it's been three months and the Red leader still hasn't told you. Has it not occurred that maybe you're not going to get it." Paul said. 

"Of course it's occurred. That's why you're here. I'm sure you want the best for your son, no?" She cocked her head.

"if you know that much, you should know that you aren't going to get anything from us," Patryck grumbled, trying not to shout. The key to these things was keeping your head.

"Oh, I'm sure you're as tough as him, if not better. But I know you wouldn't let him die, would you?" They both froze. They weren't going to kill him, were they? "I'm sure Mr. Larsøn wouldn't want harm to come to you two either."

"You aren't going to get it," Paul said. He didn't care if they went through pain. He just didn't want anything to happen to his son.

"I expected as much. Let me show you something that might change your minds though." Tay smirked.

_________

Tord woke to find himself in a dark room. He felt like shit, though that was usual. Despite being in this spot many times before, he could help but feel like this time something was different. Ignoring the burning in his arms, Tord forced himself up. The wall right in front of him was glass, and behind it stood three terrified people.

"Ah, you're finally awake." Came a soft, almost robotic voice. Quickly looking to his right, Tord saw one of his other torturers, Kai. Kai was the worst in his opinion. They weren't like Tay, as they hardly showed emotions or excitement, but where they lacked they sure made up for it in words. Kai was very smart, and every word that left their mouth was well thought out. Not to mention they knew just what to say to get into your head.

"As you've seen, we have a few spectators to enjoy the show. Doesn't that sound nice?" 

"Don't touch him!" Edd's voice rang out, laced with anger. Kai looked at him, almost curious at his display. As if to test him, they roughly grabbed Tord's hair and forced him to face his lovers. "Leave him alone!"

"I don't think I will, edd. After all, we have many things to do today and it wouldn't be right for us to just… stop." Their crystal blue eyes moved from edd to Tord, face never changing from that neutral look. They gave a hard tug, electing a pained cry from the Norsk. "We are going to have so.. much... fun.'

"Fun?" Tom spat. "You think this is _fucking_ fun? Nothing about this is _fun_ you sick fuck!" 

"Tsk tsk, Thomas. Those are very bad words. We might have to clean your mouth." Kai said, shaking their head.

"Don't you dare touch him." Tord growled, glaring at the blonde above him.

"I don't know, Mr.Larsøn. Your boyfriends sure don't want me to hurt you. Maybe they could take your place. I'm sure they're willing to if they're as caring as they seem."

"No!" Tord said sharply. " I will _never_ let you hurt them!" 

"Tord... We can handle it. You can't take any more of this, please." Edd asked, sounding closer to begging. No. Tord didn't listen to him at all. If edd thought Tord would willingly let them hurt the ones he loved to most he was dead wrong.

"Over my dead body!" Tord said, glaring at the stone floor. Kai violently slammed his face into the hard ground without warning. Tord screamed in surprised pain, a splintering crunch echoing throughout the room.

"That very well may be the case." Kai hummed, doing it again. And again. And again. Blood flowed like rivers from his newly broken eye-socket and nose, mixing with his tears and staining his hoodie a dark crimson. Sobbing, Tord desperately trying to free himself. He actually managed to kick them in the stomach, their grip loosening for a second, but only a second.

Their grip became so tight Tord could feel strands of hair being ripped from his scalp, and they pushed his head hard into the ground, holding him there. "You should know you'll never win, and there will be consequences for stunts like that." 

"Please, just let him go," Matt whined. 

"Apologize, and I might spare you." Kai hissed in an acid tone, pressing harder.

"Fuck you!" Tord choked out. Kai went quiet, a sign when they were getting angry. In the small time frame in which they fell silent, he could hear a door nearby opening and closing.

"It seems we've gotten more guests. It won't really matter though if you can't follow directions, will it?" Lifting his head roughly, Tord saw more people behind the glass. Two more people that shouldn't be here. Kai shoved his head back down, clearly losing their patience. 

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry." Hr cried. As much as he wanted to bitch, he didn't want those behind the glass to have to watch.

"Was that so hard?" Kai smiled, letting him go. Tord coughed up blood, cradling his head as pain pulsed through it.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Patryck's voice was clear as day. Tord looked up but was quick to cast his eyes to the ground. 

"So rude. That must be where he got that nasty mouth from." Kai shook her head, kicking Tord in the chest. Tord wheezed, having the wind knocked from him.

"Oh god, tord are you okay?" Edd asked frantically. Tord didn't respond, busy trying to bring much-needed air into his burning lungs. He didn't have the energy to sit up, didn't even want to face them. 

"Tord you have to get up. Please." Paul pleaded.

"I think he is too weak. Perhaps you were right, he really can't take any more of this." Kai hummed. Against his body's wishes, tord sat up, blood running down his face and soaking into the once green hoodie.

"I am a lot of things, but weak isn't one," Tord spoke with confidence, eye boring into the other. He didn't dare face his fathers & lovers, knowing he'd only see pain. With inhuman speed, kai was suddenly above him and something was being stabbed into his neck. 

"Good. That means we'll get everything done for today." Kai said, tossing a syringe.

"What are you doing? What are you going to do to him?" Edd asked, sounding equal parts angry and distraught. Kai didn't offer him a response, shoving tord onto his back. With pained groans, Tord was trying to move away, movements sluggish. 

" **Stop struggling!** " Kai screamed, voice shrill. Out of pure fear and shock, Tord's movements stilled. Satisfied, Kai grabbed a hammer and nails from a nearby cart.

'"No, no no no no no! Not again please." 

"Don't worry, this is for a reason. You won't be getting as many as last time." Kai said as if those words held any comforting value. Tord wasn't calmed by the words but was quick to realize he couldn't move. Kai grabbed a nail and held it right about his wrist, giving a tiny grin before slamming the hammer down. Tord's screams filled the air.

"Stop, please just stop" edd begged, sobbing as if he was the one having nails piercing his skin. Kai did not stop, grabbing another nail and repeating the process. Once kai finally dropped the bloodied hammer, tord had 3 nails in each arm pinning him down.

"All done for now," Kai said, standing up to admire their work. Tord couldn't stop with pathetic sobs and slipped from his lips, pain taking over.

"You're going to pay!" Came a monster growl, followed by a harsh bang. Looking over, Tord was shocked to see that it came from tom. Big black horns poked out from his mousy brown hair, hands now black claws and a scaly tail stuck out from his backside. Had tord done that to?

"Am I? You seem to be on the wrong side of the glass." Kai said as they approached the glass, a hint of curiosity on their face. Just then Tim entered, face black. Blue met black. "Tim, I'm glad you could make it. You'll be taking over, I have things to do."

"I see. What do you need me to do?" Tim asked, moving closer.why was he so calm? What had they done to him?

"Hook up the cables. You can get creative after that, I don't care." Kai said softly, sparing one last glance to the glassed off room before leaving Tim to do his own thing. Tim walked to the back wall, supposedly where the cables were.

"Tim?" Tom breathed, disbelief written on his face. Tim paused to look at his brother before going back to whatever he was doing over there. "Why? Why are you doing this?" Again, no response. 

Tim approached Tord, holding a few cables in his grasp. Tord's eyes widened, and he desperately tried to plead for freedom. "No no, please. You don't have to do this, please Tim." Tim seemed to ignore him, attaching the cables to the nails. 

"If you're as smart as they say, you'll stay still." Tim huffed, getting up at returning to the back wall, hand wrapping around a power switch.

3

2

1

He pulled it.

_______

3 months before day one.

Tord shuffled through papers and blueprints, wondering why the hell being an army leader included so much paperwork. If he wanted to drown in stacks of papers he'd've gotten an office job. "Boss?" Paul and Patryck asked as they entered his office. He stopped what he was doing to give his soldiers his attention.

"I've decided on a mission for myself. It'll take a week or 2 to complete so I am leaving you 2 in charge." Tord said, shuffling through a few more blueprints. How many blueprints did he own? He needed a study to keep these at or something. "I will be leaving a week from now." 

"Oh? May I ask what this mission is?" Paul raised a questioning eyebrow.

"I will be going back to my boyfriends to retrieve the robot I worked on while still living there…" 

"You're what!?" They exclaimed in almost perfect unison.

"You heard me," Tord said, fixing them with an annoyed stare. Even if he was their boss, they still felt the need to defy him.

"Are you sure? Wouldn't communicating with them in any friendly way alert our enemy's of your connection..?" Patryck asked. Tord… hadn't thought of that. That was one of the reasons he'd left in the first place.

"I'll deal with it.." Tord said after a moment of silence.

"Sir-" 

"I know what I'm doing, I don't need you to parent me." He snapped. Tord was the boss, the Red Leader. They were subordinate to him, they should respect him.

"That's kind of our job, Tord. We're just worried about you and them." Pat sighed, shaking his head. 

"I'll be fine. I'll be in and out in a matter of days. If someone finds out then we'll just take them for safety." Tord shook his head. He didn't want to hear it. It was clear at this point nothing they said was going to move him.

"I swear to god if anything happens to you.." Patryck grumbled before storming off. Tord suddenly felt bad for causing pat such stress but tried to push it away.

"You two need to have more trust in me. If I can lead an entire army, I can retrieve a simple robot." Tord said.

"You do dumb things when you get too into your feelings. I am trusting, don't make me regret it." Was all Paul said before leaving his office too, leaving tord alone again. He sighed softly, picking up two pictures off his desk.

The first one was of tord and his boyfriends, tom, edd, and matt. The last picture they took before he left. They were all smiling. So happy….

The second was of himself, Paul, and Patryck. It was the day he came out as bi. Of course, they loved him anyway and smothered him with love so he knew that. 

Tord didn't want to ruin what he had, but it seemed like he was doing that already...

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed, leave a Kudos and comment on your way out, they motivate me to keel working.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know if i'll be able to get to my phone or laptop tomorrow, so you get this chapter early.

A blood-curdling scream filled the air as hundreds of watts of electricity were shot into Tord's body. The only thing going through the Norwegian's head at the moment was— _'I'm going to die, it's over. It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts. Please stop it, stop it, stop. Please please, please. People die from lighting, right? Fuck, it hurts just stop make it stop please please_ —'

It stopped just as soon as it started, leaving him gasping and choking on sobs. Tord's composer was completely shattered, and picking back up the pieces was the last thing on his mind as he still wasn't entirely convinced he wasn't going to die. The smell of burnt flesh filled the room and attacked his senses. It was sickening and the urge to vomit was only overpowered by the intense pain throughout his body.

The feeling of tears on his skin was both painful and relieving. "You Monster!" Tom screamed, and after struggling to face him, Tord saw he was crying heavily, as was everyone. Paul was now pressing himself into the furthest corner, matt holding him close, both of them choosing to no longer watch the painful display. "What is wrong with you? This-this Isn't-" he was having a difficult time getting his words out. "This isn't the brother I know. What did they do to you?"

Tim stared at his twin brother sadly for a few moments before turning back to the cart of tools kai so helpfully supplied. "I'm doing this for many reasons tom. Mainly to make sure the people I care about don't die." 

"They're holding someone against you, aren't they? Is all of this really worth it? They might be bluffing… can't you take a chance?" Edd asked, trying anything to try and get through to Tim. Tord almost wanted to laugh at the pathetic attempt.

"Is it worth it?" Tim screamed, turning around to glare at them coldly. It was a complete 180° from the behavior he was known to show. "Haven't you seen by now? They don't fucking bluff. I'm not going to risk the family I worked so hard to build over him and stupid army. If he is the reason I lose those I love, I will make sure I am the reason you lose him." His voice dropped to an acid growl. 

Tord felt a sinking feeling in his gut as he heard Tim's words. They really were holding something against him. But now it seemed like part of this was his own free will. The anger of his loved ones being in danger being blamed on tord. It was his fault... Tim was suddenly above Tord, holding the hammer kai had carelessly thrown before. Tord could barely begin his fruitless begging before Tim used the hammer to roughly yank out a nail. 

Tord choked on a broken sob, voice hoarse from screaming for so long. He couldn't remember the last time a session had lasted so long. The nail made a _clunk_ sound as it fell to the floor, the sound a thousand times louder in his ears. Tim didn't even try to be gentle, not that Tord would ever expect that kind of treatment. He didn't deserve it.

Tim continued this until Tord arms were free of any nails. Until the male under him was shaking and sobbing. He kicked Tord in the stomach harshly. Tord forced his body to roll over before doubling over, coughing up the little content in his stomach. His shoulders shook as tears burned paths down his face. 

He wanted it to end already, wished that the cables had truly taken his pathetic life. It wasn't until Tim stabbed a strangely colored syringe into his neck that he even noticed his dangerously drooping eyelids. Tord wanted to cry all over again. **'Are you really crying because you can't go to sleep? What and you, 5? Suck it up and deal with it. Stop being so selfish and think about others. How would they feel if you suddenly passed out?** ' Whispered the little acid voice in the back of his head.

'I'll… be right back, don't go anywhere.." Tim breathed, brushing himself off and sparing a single glance at the once strong man before leaving the room. Almost immediately Tom, edd, and pat were bombarding him with questions and pleas.

"Tord! Please god, get up." Patryck begged, face wet with icy tears. Tord hated to see him cry but could offer no comfort. He couldn't get up no matter how much the voice in his head told him he was weak. Maybe he was…

"Tord are you okay?" edd asked. What a stupid question tord though bitterly, ignoring the other voice. Of course, he wasn't okay. After all the shit he just went through did edd really think that question was necessary? He couldn't respond even if he wanted to.

"Answer us!" Tom wailed, again, not receiving more than blank a face and vacant eyes. "Please…." He couldn't. He wanted to, he really did but he couldn't. Tim entered the room, holding what appeared to be a fishing box. Walking right behind him was pay, and upon seeing him tord could feel his heart drop. 

How much more of this could he take before even his boyfriends started to turn on him?

"Back, and I brought some help." Tim made a vague hand jester to pay, who looked tired and unwilling. Tord watched Patryck, watched at the gears turned in his head, as fear and worry turned to rage. Unmasked, true burning rage.

"You... You're part of this?" He growled at his brother. Pay didn't even glance at him, grabbing a chair from one of the many corners and dragging it closer to Tord. "Answer me goddammit!"

"Yes!" Pay snapped, still not looking. "Will you shut up and let me do my job?" pay, rather roughly, grabbed Tord and forced him into the chair. The communist hissed and whined as his fingers dug into his flesh. Tim immediately tied him down with a thick rope.

As if he had any chance of escaping. 

"We are going to play a game. The rules are fairly simple, so it'll be hard for you to lose." Tim said, opening the box and pulling out 5 fishing hooks. Giving 2 to pay, Tim stabbed one through Tord's bottom lip. The hoarse noise that left his mouth could hardly be called a scream.

"What kind of game is this?" Tom snapped, trying to clean his face. He was gaining back his composer bit by bit, but Tord had a sinking feeling he'd just lose it again.

"Trivia game. I hope you know your stuff, for his sake. Pay answered, repeating what Tim had done. Once completed tord had all five fishing hooks pushed through his lips, 3 in his bottom lip, 2 in his top. The hooks were attached to fishing lines.

"The rules will go as follows, we will ask each of you a simple trivial question and you'll get 5 seconds to answer. Get it right, I'll move on. Get it wrong, I rip out one of the hooks. Don't answer in time or refuse to play, I rip out one of the hooks." Tim explained, holding onto a line loosely.

"That includes you too, Pau and Matt." The two men in question looked up at the sound of their names. Pau looked like five seconds away from a mental breakdown and matt just looked tired. "Why don't we start with something easy? Tom, what's 2 + 2?"

"4" was his sniffled response. Pay smiled.

"Correct!" He said, a smile falling back into a neutral expression. 

"Next. Edd, how long was tord missing before you were kidnapped?" Tord saw the exact moment edd began to panic. He didn't know, he never knew that Tord was missing until pau and pat were on his doorstep. He looked at Tord helplessly, then patryck as Tim began to count down. 

"5...4...3…"

Patryck silently mouthed something, though tord couldn't tell what from here. Edd suddenly blurted out his answer. "Three months!" Tim pause, before his grip tighten.

"Oh, I'm so sorry edd," Tim pulled on the line, the metal tearing through his skin and leaving a bloody cut. "I can't accept that." 

"But that was the answer! Tord was missing for three months! You- you said—!" Paul cried, eyes wide and breathing ragged.

"Oh I never said he was wrong, I just forgot to mention a rule. You aren't allowed to give each other the answers." Tim shrugged, grabbing another line.

"Well pat, looks like your next. Hey, random question, what's a female donkey called?" Pay asked innocently. Patryck bit his lip, desperately searching his brain for the hidden information."5...4...3…2…"

"JENNY. It- it's called a jenny." Patryck screamed, tears building up in golden eyes, identical to pays. Pay stopped, then nodded.

"I guess my questions are just too easy". Pay shook his head. 

"Matt, how many colors are there in the rainbow?" Tim asked. Such a simple question. Matt blinked away his tears.

"6"

_Rip_

"7, People always forget about indigo." Tim shook his head. Tord couldn't stop the stream of gurgled babbles that fell from his lips. The pain was unbearable. He couldn't hold it against them for getting the questions wrong, it wasn't their fault.

"Paul looks like it's your turn!" Pay said, holding his line a little tighter. "How many letters are in the German alphabet?" 

"I.." His breathing became frantic as he desperately tried to remember the information he at one point knew. He looked to Patryck for help, but he just turned away.

"3..2.."

"I DON'T KNOW!" Paul finally wailed, curling in on himself as he finally seemed to break down from the stress. _Rip_. He didn't even react to the weak cry, or Patryck taking him in his arms.

"There's 30, strange right?" Pay shrugged, dropping the bloodied hook to the floor and grabbing a second line. Only 3 lines left.

"Tom, looks like you're back up. What's the American English word for trainers?" Tim asked calmly. Tom seemed momentarily taken back before giving a quiet yet strong response.

"Sneakers.." He said, and Tord was suddenly glad they studied American English together back in high school. 

"Edd, what's a group of frogs called?" Pay asked.

"I-i don't....." He mumbled, hanging his head in defeat. Pay finished his countdown, and when edd was still unable to provide him with an answer he tugged hard at the line. Slowly, he fell to his knees. Twice. He had failed to give a correct answer twice and tord was paying for it.

"Only one left, Patryck. This should be easy. Why was Tord kidnapped?" 

"You want the location of the red army base." The man said, running his hand through Paul's hair. This didn't seem to faze the wide-eyed Dane, who continued to not react. Tord was starting to worry he may have lost it.

"Matt, what was the torture method that was used on tord after you arrived?" Pay asked. Tord's eyes widen. It was a trick question… Matt didn't know what happened until waking up, so of course his answer would be...

"He... He was nailed to the wall." That.… Tord barely flinched as the last hook was pulled, closing his eyes tightly and praying for sleep to take him. He was tired. So very tired.

"He was beaten, actually." Pay said. Tord's breathing was shallow now, and he could already hear his lovers worried voices. 

"Looks like you lost. I think we're done for today." Tim said, and tord could feel his stare. A sharp pain stung his neck, and it wasn't long before the feeling of consciousness began to slip.

_______

Edd woke with a sickening feeling. He sat up, glaring at his legs for a short moment before looking around. He was back in that bedroom. Tom and Matt were on the bunk bed. Only them.

Where was Tord? 

Edd was suddenly very uneasy. Where was Tord? Was he okay? Was he...dead? Edd could feel his chest tighten in panic. 

"Edd?" Blinking, edd saw that tom and matt were now on his bed. When had they even woken up?

"Where... Where is he?" Edd asked, beginning to panic. Tom looked over to Tord's bed. He wasn't there.

"I don't know.," Tom said slowly, biting his lip. Every single bad outcome began to pass through his head.

"What-what if he-?" Edd began to hyperventilate, tugging on his hair. He didn't want to lose tord, not like this. Edd felt like it was his fault. He failed him.

"Edd, you can't think like that," Matt said, though he didn't seem any better. He had tears in his eyes, and he himself looked close to an attack. "We have to have hope." 

"Where could he possibly be matt!?" Edd growled. He felt bad for talking to his boyfriend like that, but he couldn't help it.

"I don't know! " Matt whined. Tears slipped down his freckled cheeks, and that only added to the guilt edd felt. "I'm just trying to have hope!" 

"Both of you, please!" Tom screamed, catching both of their attention. "You aren't helping. Please, think about this. If Tord was dead why would we still be here? It's not like we know where the base is." Tom said.

"Where could he be?" Edd asked.

"Maybe they're patching him up.." 

"Why would they do that?" Matt sniffled.

"Will you shut up and listen?" Tom snapped, shutting him right up. "When we got here, Tord wasn't bleeding all over the place. His arm was stitched up, he had bandages. He's clearly getting help!" 

"Ye..yeah…" edd said softly, rubbing his eyes.

_______

"Wow, you sure did a number on him," Kai said, leaning over Tims's shoulder to get a better look. Tord was currently laid out on a medical table. Tim frowned.

"Yeah, I hope he'll be able to still talk after this." Tay murmured from the corner, glaring at the three huddled around their 'prisoner'.

"All I need to do is sew up his lips and he should be fine in a few weeks." Pay said, leaving to grab the necessary supplies to perform the task.

"This stuff is tiring. I'm glad I'm desensitized to gore or I would not be having a good time." Tim shook his head. Kai made a noise from behind him.

"Speak for yourself, I hate gore. This is why I prefer to talk." They said, moving over to tay. The green-eyed girl rolled her eyes and grabbed her girlfriend, resting her chin on the other shoulder. 

"You're too nice, you know." She sighed. 

"He's basically my brother."

"He's my nephew." 

"He doesn't deserve this." 

Tay shook her head, watching as pay returned. "He's really stubborn." She sighed. Kai had to agree. All they wanted was for this whole ordeal to be over. As long as he was staying quiet, Mayan was in danger. 

"He'll talk eventually…" Tim said. Kai sure hoped he was right. They didn't enjoy doing this.

________

2 weeks before day one

Edd sighed, scrolling through his pictures. So many good times. He looked through all the pictures, all the wonderful memories from before everything. He stopped at a certain picture. It was from one of their lazy date nights. Edd had managed to convince Tom and Tord to let him iron their hair.

That night was filled with so many dumb jokes and laughs. It was one of their greatest dates. They didn't go out, didn't spend a lot of money, or plan something crazy. It was just them, having fun, doing something stupid. He could remember tom complaining loudly as he looked in the mirror, tord sitting on the counter laughing his ass off.

Another one, them at the beach. Tom was sitting on tord's shoulder, throwing up the peace sign. Tord had a big, goofy grin on his face. Matt was half under the water, gigging. 

Edd sighed for the hundredth time that day, turning his phone off and letting it fall to the bed. Why did he miss him? Tord clearly didn't care about them, he tried to kill them… but Edd couldn't help but miss him. They had known each other almost their entire lives, and Edd had loved him for just as long. The day tord told them he returned their feelings was the greatest day of Edd's entire life. As much as he wanted to hate him, he just couldn't. And he knew Matt and Tom felt it too.

He wasn't the only one. Matt would often wear shirts he'd stolen from tord, or bracelets he'd received as gifts. Tom would play Tords favorite songs, imagining the Norwegian jumping up and singing along. His voice was always so nice. Why did he have to go and leave them? "Edd?" Looking up, Edd saw Tom and Matt standing in his doorway.

"Oh, hey guys." He smiled, sitting up a little straighter and making room for them. Tom walked over, a look of concern on his face.

"Are you okay edd?" Maty asked, plopping down next to edd. He raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend.

"Of course, why do you ask?" Edd cocked his head to the side.

"You've been in here all day and you were just staring at the bed," Tom said, resting his hand on Edd's knee. All day? Picking back up his phone he saw it was 16:34. 

"I didn't even notice!" He gasped, ashamed he'd spent so long in here. He hadn't locked himself in his room like this since the first few weeks after the 'incident '. Maybe it was because he was feeling just as bad as those days.

"Are you sure everything is okay?" Tom asked, glancing down at his phone. Edd still kept the same lock screen, a picture of him, and tord. Tom let out a tiny sigh, already knowing. He was good like that, able to read a person in only a matter of minutes. "You're thinking about him…"

"Who?" Matt asked, confused. Tom held up Edd's phone for Matt to see. "Oh…" his face fell.

"Edd, I thought we went over this.." 

"I can't help it! I.. I miss him. I can't just forget my feelings for him, it doesn't work like that." Edd sighed, sinking deeper into his hoodie. He couldn't meet his eyes.

"But he blew up our house, and punched my face!" Matt said, pointing to his eye, which was healed. 

"Don't act like you don't miss him too! He was one of the biggest parts of our lives!" Edd said a little louder than he meant to, glaring at his boyfriends.

"And he chose to rule the world over us. I miss him too, I loved him despite how i acted. But he doesn't love us, and he isn't coming back." Tom sighed, rubbing his temple.

"I know. He isn't coming back. I just…" edd hid his face in his hands as tears began to flow down his face. Matt and Tom flinched at his sudden reaction.

"Edd!" Matt gasped! He cupped his face in his hands. Edd tried to hide his face again but Matt grabbed one of his hands. "Don't cry!" 

"I'm sorry," Tom frowned, grabbing his other hand and interlacing their fingers. Edd stared at him in confusion. Sorry? Why was he sorry? "Didn't mean to make you cry."

"I wish things were different. I miss him so much, I just want him back." 

"He was our little stjerne…" Matt mumbled, kissing Edd's knuckles to hide his frown. Edd remembered the little nickname, they had taught themselves a small bit of Norwegian so they could surprise Tord. The male always seemed to turn red when they called him Norwegian pet names.

  
"Yeah…." Edd nodded, closing his eyes tightly. Despite everything, edd still clung to a little bit of hope. Even more so after talking with pau and pat. Maybe, just maybe, if when they found Tord, he'd want to come back to them.


	9. Chapter 9

Pay handled each weapon with care as he sorted through them, careful not to hurt himself. He could see his brother out of the corner of his eye. He felt bad for what he was doing, especially with the past he had with his twin. Pay was jealous, of course. Patryck had been treated like a prince all their childhood and pay was treated like shit. Patryck was always the perfect child.

Pay was always the mistake.

Could you really blame him for being jealous? He never got to have a childhood, a life even, because his stupid brother was better, smarter. But even with their past could he really justify what he was about to do? 

He took a glance. Still knocked out. 

If he didn't do this he'd lose his family. He'd worked so hard to build up his relationships he couldn't lose it now.. Pay had to do this, there were no exceptions. Maybe they could make up after all this, but right now? They weren't brothers. There was no family or friends. It was just Payton and Patryck. 

Groans from beside him alerted him that his thinking time was done. Time to finally face the problem he'd been dreading. He took his time in pretending not to notice, something he was very good at. He hummed softly to himself while stealing glancing. 

Pat was strapped to a chair, hair messy and tangled from the craze of the last 20 hours. He couldn't tell if time was going by too slow or too fast.

"Pay…?" Patryck's voice was soft, a complete 180 from yesterday. Pay slowly turned, almost surprised. He was expecting anger. He was expecting yelling and having to deal with insults. Not Patryck to just sit there looking sad and tired. 

"You're awake! Finally." Pay said, turning back to his table full of tools. What to use? 

"Where are Paul and Tord?" He asked, frowning deeply in concern. 

"Tord's in recovery."

"Recovery? Heh, so you monsters do have hearts." He said, looking down at his arms.

"Of course, we don't want him to die. After all, we still haven't gotten the information we need." Pay said in an informative tone. Patryck's face slowly morphed into one of hate, and pay could feel the glare.

"Where's Paul?" Pat snapped, and suddenly Pay didn't feel so nervous. This was what he prepared for.

"With Kai, the blonde you saw yesterday." He said, picking up a scalpel and inspecting it.

"Yesterday? How long was I out?" Patryck gasped. 

"15 hours actually. You woke up when I was treating your wounds but I'm not surprised you don't remember anything."

"What is that girl doing to Paul?" Patryck got right back on track with his questions.

"They're not a girl, and I don't know." Pay shook his head and put the item back on the cart. "But is that really what you should be worrying about?"

"Why does it matter to you?" 

"I'm going to be in a room with you for the next hour or so, I think I have a right to ask a few questions." Pay said, finally settling for a shock collar and a whip. He had absolutely nothing else to do and straight-up killing him was completely out of the question.

"More like you're just trying to fill the time." Pat huffed, and Pay couldn't help but chuckle.

"Maybe, but you'll never know my motives." Pay shot back, turning to face his dear old brother.

"You're trying to ruin my life," Patryck said angrily, glaring at pay as he walked closer. 

"You may think that. Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way." He said, standing only a few inches away from pat. 

"If you're going to ask me where my base is, you aren't going to get it." Pay sighed, fastening the collar. 

"Guess we're doing this the hard way." Pay grabbed the remote and pressed a button at random. Pat gasped in pain, body jerking. "Works" pay said, glaring at pat. 

"Son of a bitch," Patryck cursed, hanging his head. He coughed softly, trying to recover from the sudden shock. 

"Well lucky you, we're brothers." Pay smirked, proud of himself for that little comeback. Patryck opened his mouth to retort, but all that left his mouth was a choked gasp as pay activated the shock collar, turning it to its highest setting. "Maybe you should keep that mouth of yours shut if you aren't going to give me the right information." 

"And what if i don't want to shut up? What are you going to, Payton." Patryck sneered, rage clear on his face. Pay frowned. If they wanted a show he'd give them one. He whipped patryck's chest as hard as he could, resulting in a loud hiss. 

"Mother may have praised you for your amazing English, but it won't help you out now." Pay said slowly, staring down at his brother in hate. That man who caused so much pain in his life… At his complete mercy.

"You're still on that?" Patryck spat! 

"You don't just get over nearly 20 years of abuse, but you wouldn't know!" Pay yelled back, cracking his whip again. "You were always the perfect child, they all love you! I was living in your shadow." 

"You take everything away from me because you're jealous? I have a family and you're mad?" 

"It's not about you!" Pay dropped the whip and reached for the remote. He held down the button until he felt satisfied. "This was never about you! It's your sad excuse for a son! He ruined everything! This is his fault!" Ouch, that was a bit rough. 

"Leave Tord alone! I don't give a shit if you hurt me, but I won't allow you to hurt my baby!" Pat cried, tears streaming down his face. 

"What can you do? He's not a baby, he's a grown man. If he can lead an army he can deal with this." Pay huffed, looking through his tools to try and find something. "He knew what he was getting into when he made the Red army."

"You're a monster.."

"I'm a human being doing what I have to do. Stop being so pitiful, it's sickening..."

"I'm sickening? I'm worrying over my son and husband! Is that so bad? I guess you wouldn't know, no one could love someone like you!" Patryck said coldly, which pissed pay the fuck off.

"Shut up.." Pay said, voice quiet. His hands shook with white-hot rage. Patryck did not shut up sadly and continued on. "You don't know half of it..."

"Maybe that's why Paul chose me back then." That was the last straw. 

"SHUT UP!" Pay grabbed the closest heavy object, which happened to be a wrench, and quickly approached Pat with it raised.

"SHUT UP!" 

Wack. 

"Shut up!" 

Wack.

"Shut up…." 

Pay had tears burning rivers down his face as he towered over Patryck's limp body, his own splattered with drops of crimson. He was gasping for air, eyes wide as he slowly realized what he did. 

Patryck's face was an ugly area of dark blues and purples. Blood dripped from his now broken nose and a large gash on the side of his head. He dropped the bloodied wrench, taking a step back. "What have I… what have I done…?"

_______

Kai hummed, swaying their hips as they glossed over all the tools in front of them... It was mostly for show, as they weren't big fans of physical torture. It was ten times better to twist a person's mind, make them question everything they ever knew. It was so fascinating to watch someone's own mind turn against them.

Paul was lying on the floor a few feet away, still asleep. Even if he did nothing to deserve this, he'd be an interesting subject to observe. His mental stability was… not the best. This left them with some wiggle room.

Hopefully, it'd be easier to break him down. Then it'd be a piece of cake to manipulate him into doing what they pleased. With a ghost of a smile, they turned around. It wasn't very much of a surprise to see Paul already awake. His silver eyes widened when he noticed he was caught.

"Hello Paul," Kai said, face blank. "We're going to have lots of fun, isn't that right?" 

"Where's… where are pat and tord?" He asked slowly, inching away from them. 

"Oh, that's not what you should be worried about, dear Paul." They picked up a weapon and prepared themselves. 

Today was going to be a fun one.

* * *

Day one

Tom was sitting on Edd's couch, the man in question was asleep in his arms. The past week had been better. They actually had a talk about their feelings, and ever since then they all had been doing better. Tom felt a sad smile form on his face as he scrolled through pictures on his phone, landing on a selfie of all 4 of them, smiling. Happy.

As much as he hated that stupid commies guts, he loved him ten times more. From his accent, to his freckles, to the cute way he seemed to light up when he talked about something he was passionate about, Tord had stolen his heart in every way. And he fucking missed him and his stupid face.

A part of Tom hoped that he survived that explosion, and that one day he would come back to them. Tom knew, deep down, that it would never happen. He loved tord, but if tord loved him was up to question.

When Tom thought of him, the real him, he knew his answer. The way he'd stay up with Tom all night when his thoughts got too loud, or when he fixed tomme bear because he knew Tom loved him. Those were the times where he knew how hard he fell for the red-clad. When they'd cuddle late at night under the stars. Oh what Tom would give to have those times back.

Tom shut off his phone and let it fall to the couch. He hugged Edd closer and focused on him. Edd was more important. Edd was here in his arms, not tord. It was quiet, giving him time to just enjoy the warmth that radiated off of edd. 

"Tom!" Matt barged in, slamming the door open and closed. Tom was about to yell at him for being so loud until he saw how worried he was. He peaked out the peep-hole before moving away. He didn't say anything else to Tom but changed slowly. His skin became sickly white and his once blue eyes became red. Matt was never this serious unless something bad was happening. Really bad.

"Matt, what's going on?" Tom asked, gently setting edd down before walking up to his panicking boyfriend. He paused, turning to Tom with a serious, yet worried look on his face. 

"There were weird men in uniforms, they asked me a bunch of weird questions. Then they started following me. I managed to lose them but I don't think it helped. They're coming for us, I don't know why but I know they are." Matt said, tugging frantically on his ginger locks. Tom grabbed his ice-cold hands as a way of calming him, waiting until he had Matt's eyes on him. Or at least he thought, it was hard to tell.

"Matt, what did they ask you?"

"Do you Tord larsøn? Have you talked to him in the last 4 months? Do you know someone by the name of Thomas Rosewall? Would you happen to know about the robot incident 3 months ago? Are you Matt Heagiving? Can we talk to you in a more private location?" 

Tom froze… Were they red army soldiers? Was Tord trying to get back at them for ruining his plans? Did tord hate them after all? "What did their uniforms look like?"

"They were wearing black sweaters with white overcoats, and black and gold accents." Tom sighed in relief. So it wasn't the red army. Maybe tord… a bang at the door knocked him from his dais. Matt grabbed his arms, and he could feel Matt's fingers dig into his flesh painfully. "Take Edd into his room, he can't fight like us."

Tom nodded and raced over to the couch, picking up his now drowsy boyfriend and taking him to his room. "Tom, what's going on?" He yawned, stretching as he was set down on his bed. He rubbed his eye, but suddenly froze in shock. "Tom… you're half transformed!" 

Looking down, Tom saw two black claws. "Stay here, and under no circumstances leave, okay?" Tom said, turning to leave. "Me and Matt will handle everything."

When tom walked back out, matt was pressing his back against the door, grinding his teeth. "They won't let up, they're gonna break our door down!" 

Tom went over to make sure the door was locked. "What are we gonna do?" Tom asked, tail swaying in worry. Matt frowned and suddenly pulled him in for a kiss. It was quick, and once done he didn't look any less worried.

"We can't just stand here forever." Tom knew what he was implying and he hated it. He didn't want to let these people into his home. Arms wrapped around him and suddenly they were on the other side of the room. 

"We've got this…" Tom mumbled as another bang rattled the door. 

**BANG**!

The door flew open with enough strength to put a hole in the wall, and 5 men in white coats rushed in. "Hands up and get down. You can come easy without struggle and we won't hurt you." The first one said. He had poofy cyan hair and dark green eyes. His name tag said Tyler.

"I always put up a struggle." Tom spat, swiping at the soldier that dared to come closer. Matt rushed one of them, knocking them into the coffee table. Tom took this as his cue, ramming to one the soldiers. His horns sliced their stomach, leaving drops of red to soak into the wooden flooring. The dark hair soldier groaned, and just looking at the white coat turning red made him sick.

"Get off me!" Looking over, Tom felt his heart drop. Matt was being held down by two soldiers, one of them trying to prick him with a needle. A scream from the bedroom made Tom realize that there were only four soldiers in the room. In the time he was distracted, he felt a knee in his back forcing him down to the ground, and his arms were restrained behind him. 

Tyler calmly walked out of the bedroom, a bloody edd in his arms, unconscious. "Take them to the van, and don't draw attention," he said strictly, walking over to the window. He carefully climbed out, making sure not to drop Edd as he disappeared from view.

Tom felt tears threaten to fall. What just happened? He could barely comprehend it as he and Matt were also lowered to the ground. Tom transformed back into his human form, sitting in between an unconscious Edd and matt. He didn't know what the hell was happening, but he hoped it would be over quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be posting a chapter tomorrow to make up for last chapter


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh you're gonna love next chapter. I'm sure of it.
> 
> Bet you thought I forgit about Ringo, did you even remember her?

Eduardo was curled up around a pillow on the couch. The past week was stressful for reasons he couldn't explain. Edd had gone missing. No, he was kidnapped. For some odd reason, Eduardo was worried. He was never close with Edd, in fact, the complete opposite. 

It was only in the past month that they even had a civil conversation. Maybe that one conversation sparked a friendship, maybe it was the trauma of the 'incident ' that brought them closer. No matter why he was as worried as he was, the bottom line was he was worried. It was eating away at him.

"Eduardo?" Chocolate brown eyes met sky blue. Mark was sitting in front of him, a book resting comfortably in his lap. Eduardo had been so absorbed in his thoughts he didn't even hear Mark coming in.

"Oh, hey," he mumbled softly. He squeezed the pillow tighter.

"Everything okay? You were just staring into space." Mark asked, looking at Eduardo in concern. Eduardo quickly averted his eyes in shame. Why? Be shouldn't be ashamed! It wasn't bad to worry about someone and he knew this? Why…? He's never felt like this before. He never felt so worried over someone he barely knew.

"Yeah, of course, I'm fine. When am I not fine?" He lied, hoping Mark would believe him. Or at the very least let it go. Mark gave him no such luxury, furrowing his brow in concern and placing a hand on his knee. 

"Like now. I'm going to ask again, are you sure you're okay?" Mark asked, his soothing voice already making him come undone.

"No…" he hung his head. "Not at all"

"Eduardo, you don't have to hide it. I'm here if you need to talk, we all are." Mark said. Eduardo decided to take him up on that offer.

"It's just- I've been so worried!" Eduardo admitted. "And- and I know it's only been a week and I need to give them time, but i just can't help it! I don't even know why I'm so worried because I was never close! I'd hate for this to be some stupid hidden feelings thing because I may never see them again!!," It came out in one breath, tears of frustration pushing past. He buried his face in the pillow and tried to quiet his sobs. 

Mark moved to sit next to Eduardo and pulled him into a loose embrace. "It's okay Eduardo, it's okay to feel that way. Remember all the crazy stuff they went through before?" 

"Yeah?" He sniffled, rubbing his eyes.

"If tom can survive being shot with a missile then he can survive anything." Mark smiled, ruffling his hair. 

"They better be! I didn't sign up to babysit another cat. I already have two!" He joked, chuckling softly. 

"Well, Yuna's technically me and Todd's. She just stays over here a lot." Mark shook his head. Eduardo felt ten times better. 

"I just hope you're right about them." 

"Hey, I thought we talked about this." 

"I just… I wanna say sorry. For everything." Eduardo sighed leaning into Mark's touch. 

"Don't worry. Okay? It'll be fine, but the more to think about it the more it'll eat you up." Eduardo listened to him, listening to his rhythmic sound of Mark's heartbeat.

"Thank you.." He said with an almost invisible smile ghosting his face.

"Huh?" Mark laughed softly.eduardo was confused. Why was he laughing?

"What? What's so funny about that?" He asked, irritated.

"I'm sorry, it's just… you've been more open today than I've seen you my whole life. The Eduardo I'm used would never admit he was worried about Edd, or say thank you. It's almost surreal." Mark explained. "I should say thank you for opening up to me. It means a lot." 

"Thank you for being there for me, Mark. You're a great friend" Eduardo smiled, looking away in embarrassment. Mark chuckled and ruffled his hair again. "Stop!!" 

"Can't help it, Your hair is messy and floofly." Mark shrugged, continuing to fluff his hair. Ringo hopped up onto the couch, tilting her head cutely.

"Hey girl, came to help me huh?" Eduardo giggled, reaching out to scratch her ears. She purred, strutting up curling up in his lap. "It's like she knows." 

"I think Edd was training her to be a therapy animal." Mark pointed out, scratching her as well.

"I guess I'm lucky." Eduardo smiled softly, hugging her and closing his eyes. Maybe everything wasn't so bad.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, after things are gonna start getting serious.


	11. Chapter 11

Paul kept his eyes on the blonde, backing away until he felt his back hit the hard strong wall. He was scared, as much as he hated to admit it, he was. Seeing what they did to Tord, how they reduced a strong leader to tears in a matter of minutes, that scared him. Kai calmly approached him, a knife in their pale hand. 

"All mighty general Paul cowering in fear. You're supposed to be strong and brave?" Kai hummed, crossing their arms and shaking their head. 

"Shut the hell up! You don't know shit, so keep your mouth shut." He frowned. It's barely been 5 minutes and they were already trying to mess with his head.

.

"I know plenty, Paul. You're one of Red Leader's right-hand men and second in command along with your husband Patryck, and you're supposedly his strongest soldier." Kai was now only a few inches away, standing tall above him. "I think we both know that's a lie. You couldn't do one thing right and protect your love and child." 

"I am strong! Stronger than you think, and leave tord and pat out of this!" He was unbelievably outraged! Who the fuck did they think they were? 

"You're weak, stop lying to yourself. You made everyone believe a lie, even yourself." Kai said in a soothing tone. It wasn't doing much to soothe him now.

"You're wrong. You don't know…" He needed to shut them up! Normally he'd be able to deal with all of this, but right now…? He wasn't stable enough, wasn't ready.

"You couldn't even save your son, you hardly even tired." Kai Kai shook their head in disappointment.

"Hardly— hardly tried! I was shot! I could hardly move! I tried, believe me, I did." Paul gasped, focusing on his rage. If he was mad, he didn't have time to spiral.

"You didn't try hard enough. What would you even do if we killed them?" It was like someone took a knife to his lungs, letting out all the air until there was no more for him to breathe. Eyes wide, Paul tried to process what he'd been told. "You lean so much on them, yet when Red leader was being tortured you locked up."

"I…" Paul tried to speak, but forming a sentence was impossible. He couldn't live without them, he just couldn't.

"Think about that!" Kai kelt down, grabbing him by the throat. "You, someone who claims to be strong, locked up when your son's life was on the line. Everyone else fought, tried their best, but not you. You? You're pathetic." 

Paul shook like a leaf in the wind, unable to utter a single word. He couldn't breathe, and everything was spinning. He wanted so badly for it all to go away, but the more he listened to them, the more it started to sound true. The more it was true. The more he started to believe it. 

"Did you even look for him? Three months is a long time."

"I did! I looked everywhere I could." He croaked, tears falling as black-spotted his vision. Kai hummed, letting him go. They held the knife close to his face, watching the fear in his eyes.

"How did someone so pitiful become Red leader's, right-hand man? What did he even see in you?" They asked, leaning in uncomfortably close. 

"He- he trusts me. I'm one of the strongest." He stammered, starting to feel claustrophobic. He wanted them away from him. 

"He trusts you?" Kai swiped, and the bandages that covered his right eyes came spooling around him. "That was a mistake. His trust led you here." 

Paul sniffled, trying to back up even though there was no room. He wanted away. He _needed_ away. 

"How and is that? He put his trust into someone who doesn't even care. Maybe, we should kill them, and let you watch." 

"No! No no no, please no." He whispered, voice barely audible. 

"I'm sorry, i can't hear you. Was that a yes..?" They got up and began to make their way towards the door. Pulling out their phone, they began to text someone.

"NO! I said no! For the love of god, please leave them alone!" Paul screamed, voice cracking as he reached out for kai. He couldn't lose them. He couldn't lose them. Kai paused, turning to face him. "Please, they're all I have. I don't care what you do to me, just please…I can't lose them.." A sob racked his frame, and he hid his face.

Kai let out a tiny huff, grabbing something. The only reason Paul knew this was because he could hear the clink of metal. it sounded incredibly close. Curiosity overrode his fear and sadness, and he peaked out. Paul let out a surprised squeal, kai now only a few inches away from his face. 

"You're a pathetic man, Paul. I haven't even touched you yet." Paul now saw what they had grabbed, a pair of a knife. Fear flooded his system, and he began to try and fight them. 

P̡̛̯̳̗͙͐͑͆̕l͍̬͑͠e̙̔ą̟͌͂̈͜s̨͉̬͌̎̚e͕͖̿͒̋͘͜ͅ,̢̢̛̝͉̣̽̏̓͝ ̝̲̬̑͡͠h̭̙̬̊͑̒ȩ̈́ ̧̼̣̻̄͒͂̽n͇̱̜̗̒̃̔̅e̥̯͕͌̎͘ĕ̱d̨̺͔̺̋̑͒͜͞è̺͙̔d̡̧̗̻̰͑̎͊̔͑ ̨̤̖̠̍̃̅̃̀͟t̖̆h͉̭̊̆͝ͅe̳̝̲͍̎̀̓̄m̟͇̑̇̿ͅ ͙̒a͇̻͋̌ẅ̳͖͍͞͞ā͕̥̞̌̽y.̧͕̬̘͐͛͒

̬͖͇̅̑̕ ̡͖̩̣̀̃̃G͓̰̬̀̌̓̉͜e͎͠ť̘ ȧ̝̘́ẘ̠̘̖͊̽͟͝a̩̟̪̓͑͠y͍̒

̣͚̤̩̱̑͐͂̒ ̟̉GÉ̩̲̦͓̆͂͊T̛͓̬̹̺̑̓̚ ̱̳̬͌̌̅A̪͡W̥̹̝̐̚͠AY͉̺͇̪̾̾̿̉

"No no no!" He shrieked.

"They all must pity you, a sad little boy with no friends. It's a wonder that they've stayed this long. You honestly think they care about you?"

"They do! They- they love me." Paul whined, fingers intertwining in his chocolate locks. He wanted it to stop! 

"Do they? Do you think they'll want anything to do with you?" Kai asked incredulously. "You can't do anything right paul, you'll be all alone." 

"No! No no no! They do! They love me! They love me, they have to! They wouldn't leave me, I need them. I- I can't— They won't -" Paul was hyperventilating at this point, choking on his own words. He wanted it to stop, he couldn't take it anymore. Kai just giggled manically.

They stood, backing away slowly. They slipped out the room, leaving Paul all alone. He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm his breathing while he had the time. Sadly he didn't have much time, as the door opened again. This time it was pay who walked in. He was splattered with blood, and he was a vacant look in his eyes. "Wow, never thought I'd see someone like you this run down."

"Please…" he mumbled, curling in on himself. "I can't take it anymore." 

"Tsk, I'm not here to hurt you. I've done enough of that today." Pay shrugged, grabbing a pair of iron cuffs that were attached to the wall.

"Where's Patryck?" Paul asked, hoping that maybe he'd know. Pay was quiet for a few seconds, moving closer to him.

"He's dead." Paul felt like his heart stopped. No... No way… He couldn't be…

"No. No, he can't be." He whispered, voice barely audible.

"I'm sorry Paul, I really am." Pay fastening the cuffs around his wrist, which just added on to the level of panic he felt. "I didn't want to do it, honestly. He just wouldn't shut up."

"What are you doing." He whimpered, tugging harshly at the thing that was trapping him. Pay stood up brushing off his knees.

"You'll be here for some time Paul." Pay said softly. "We'll figure something out, promise." 

"Please no, please I don't wanna be alone." He begged, choking on air as he panicked. Pay stared down, not even meeting his eyes.

"You'll only be here for a short while." Pay said, turning away. Paul wanted desperately to call out to him, but he couldn't breathe, and the tears were making everything so blurry. 

A loud slam.

Paul was alone.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be taking a short break, whoops.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back baby. Prepare for the next 5 chapters, they'll be a lot calmer, but let me tell you. There's a lot of foreshadowing and (poorly) hidden secrets. 
> 
> Enjoy your fluff

Black leader sorted through the files on his desk, 6 folders in a pile of 6 different people. He opened one, finding a picture of a smiling male with short chestnut hair and thick eyebrows. Paul ter vorder was written at the top of the file. 40 years old, married to Patryck ter vorder and father of Tord Larson. It was such a shame that he was so far gone this far into the game. 

A quiet huff left the Brits mouth as he glared down at the papers stacked neatly inside the tan folder. 

"You poor unfortunate soul." he sighed, shutting the folder and picking up the next file. A closed-lip smile and chocolate brown hair pulled into a ponytail at the base of his neck. Patryck ter vorder. A young, 39-year-old man. Such a vital aspect, a key player, wounded. 

"We'll have to restore your health, your current stats just won't do." He sighed as four of his soldiers entered his office.

"Do you know why I've called you into my office today?" Black leader asked, closing the file and setting it down with the rest. The first person stepped up, their blond hair falling to their face.

"Because of the condition we've put our prisoners in," Kai responded professionally.

"I gave you simple tasks, and you couldn't even do that. Do you think i have the time for this?"

"No sir.."

"It's been 3 months and you still haven't gotten anything out of him! How much longer am I going to have to wait?" Black leader snapped, slamming his fist against his dark oak desk. 

"He's a lot more resilient than we thought. He'd rather die than give up his base location.." Tay said, bowing her head. Black leader gridded his teeth in annoyance.

"Haven't you tried anything with Paul or Patryck? Oh wait, Pay killed Patryck and Kai drove Paul insane!" He screamed! They flinched at his angry screams.

"Patryck isn't-"

"SILENCE! I don't want to hear another thing from you. We are wasting time and resources on them. I want this information and I want this man dead. You have 4 more months, if not I'll get it myself, and no one will survive. Do I make myself clear?" He growled.

"Yes sir." They all responded in unison.

"Now get out of my sight before I change my mind." The 4 of them all quickly shuffled out of his office. Black leader sighed in irritation, grabbing three files and opening them up. A grinning ginger, Matthew haygiving, working as a trainee nurse. A frowning brit with mousy brown hair, Thomas Rosewell, a musician. A brunette grinning ear to ear, Edward gold, an artist. All of them were dating Tord Larsøn. He clicked his tongue, shutting them and placing them in their respective places.

Opening the last file on his desk, Tord larsøn, a picture of his face from before the crash. "Don't you worry, Tord larsøn, this will be over very soon." He chuckled darkly. "It's only a matter of time, and now that we have all the pieces, the real game can begin." 

_________

Pay grabbed a few rolls of bandages, moving throughout the medical-bey while keeping an eye on his patients. He sighed softly, going over a mental list of things he needed to do. He needed to change his patients' bandages, feed them, and transport them to their rooms.

He moved over to the younger male, a water bottle and granola bar in hand. He gently shook him awake, watching his tired silver eyes open. "Come on, time for me to change your bandages." He said, helping him sit up. The boy didn't fight him, nodding along with half-lidded eyes. Pay unraveled the bandages from his mouth and arms, inspecting his wounds to make sure there weren't any infections. 

After rebandaging his arms, he handed him the water bottle, allowing him to drink. Pay grabbed the rest of the bandages and dumped them on the other bed. If he was lucky he could finish this all and go back to his room within the hour. He turned back to the hunched over male, watching him struggle to comfortably eat. He sighed, walking over to him.

"Your stitches are still sensitive, so try and take it easy. It should only be a few days to a week until you're fully healed and I can remove your stitches." Pay said, grabbing the roll of bandages on the bed. Once he finished eating, his mouth was once again wrapped up. Pay allowed him to go back to sleep as another soldier entered shortly after.

"Hello pay, is he all ready to go?" The cyan haired boy asked, moving over to the male's bed. He landed down to press a kiss to where his mouth was. 

"Tyler! You know he's taken." Pay gasped in disguise. This fact didn't bother the brit as he picked up the bandaged boy. He chuckled darkly, his gaze anything but innocent. 

"He's so fierce, I like him. I just wanna make him come undone." He smirked, to which pay had to stop himself from throttling him. "Though if I can, I'd like to have my way with Paul."

"Tyler, I have to take care of my next patient, please take him to his room." Pay said coldly, turning away from the man. Another dark chuckle. Once he heard the door shut, he let out an angry growl. How could a person be so twisted? He shook his head and focused on his patient.

Two gold eyes opener tiredly, glancing around before landing on him. "Glad to see you awake. Let's get those bandages changed." 

_________

Ton held tord tightly in his arms, burying his head in tord's mop of messy caramel hair. Luckily he was right about where tord was, his arms and his mouth were covered in crisp bandages. He had no idea how long they were stuck in here before they saw him again, but if he had to guess it had to have been a few days. It was the worst few days of his life. Constant worry, pain from lack of food, and nightmares never leaving him a moment of peace.

Edd was lying at his left side, he'd fallen asleep after finally knowing tord was alive and well. The poor man hadn't had more than a few hours of sleep, constantly crying. Matt was still awake, humming softly as he held onto Tord's left hand. As in any serious situation, Matt was able to stay relatively calm. They didn't stop him from worrying, but he could put on a brave face when he needed to. They were all on Edd's bed. 

How would they get out of this? Would they get out of this? He was scared for tord, he didn't want him to die. Even if they got out of this, it was clear that there was already trauma. Tord was so damn stubborn, tom was scared he was going to lose him again. Tom paused, taking a deep breath. Now wasn't the time to panic. 'It's gonna be okay, he's gonna be okay.' he thought.

A muffled groan startled him, and he realized that Tord was waking up. He let out a soft gasp, catching Matt's attention. Because Tord's mouth was covered, he couldn't make much noise, and definitely couldn't talk. The only noises that came from him were soft whimpers and groans. 

"Tord…?" Matt mumbled, sitting up fully and moving closer. Tord seemed rather confused and still a little drowsy. He looked around, jumping when he noticed Tom out of the corner of his eye. Tom forgot that tord had a blind spot and probably couldn't see him.

"Hey tord, glad to see you're awake," Tom said as Tord turned more to see him. He could tell he wanted to say something, but he just couldn't. Tord nodded slowly, turning back to matt. Matt had tears in his crystal eyes, a few stray rolling down his freckled cheeks.

Tord lifted his arm, cupping Matt's face and clearing away his tears with his thumb. Tom could feel his smile. "I'm so glad you're okay. I was so worried." Matt choked out, trying and failing to stop his tears. Just seeing him like this reminded Tom of all the fear he ensured the past few days. Tears of his own dripped down his face as he reflexively tightened his grip.

"Tord," two silver eyes landed on him, one a milky white. "Do you remember how we learned to sign in highschool? Do you remember any of it?" Tord paused, taking a moment to just stare at his hand before slowly nodding. 

Tom shifted him so he was sitting sideways in his lap. Matt moved closer, leaning gently against both of them. Shakily, Tord got his hands to perform the actions."I remember some of it." Tom translated to Matt, who nodded. "Do you remember anything from after you passed out? Are you feeling okay?" Tom asked.

"I remember waking up in the medical bay. Pay was changing my bandages, but that's really it. All I remember is getting my bandages changed or getting fed. He said I have to wait a while before my stitches can be taken out." Tord signed, cuddling closer to tom. 

"Are you cold?" Edd's hoodie was gone now, leaving him in a plain grey tee-shirt. Tord shook his head, but his shivering body told a different story. They both sighed, Tom, kissing his temple.

"You can have my hoodie." Matt offered. 

"No! I'll mess it up like I did Edd and Tom's." Tord frowned softly, staring at toms bare arms. Again, Tom sighed. Why did his boyfriend have to be so selfless?

"My overcoat is on the other bed, you can have that or my hoodie, but I don't want you to be cold," Matt said, voice leaving no room for argument. Tord sighed and pointed to Matt. After helping tord into the plum-colored hoodie, Tom watched as the Norsk sunk into the oversized hoodie. "See, doesn't that feel better."

He nodded and continued to sign. "I'm so sorry. I never wanted you to see that. I know you're upset that I let them hurt me like that, but I just couldn't let them hurt you. How can you still love a mess like me when I got you into this me?" Tord had tears welling up in his tired bluish-grey eyes. 

Matt wiped away his tears, interlocking his fingers with Tords. "Shh, no need to cry, okay?" Matt hushed.

"There's no need to apologize, tord. You did nothing wrong. This isn't your fault, tord, we love no matter what." Tom said softly, kissing his temple. Tord sniffled, nodding. But the tears didn't stop, and tord wasn't calming down. His tiny sobs were muffled as he once again started to tremble. 

Tord hid his face, his breathing short, and raged. He was having a panic attack. Tom wrapped his arms around the taller boy, rubbing conforming circles on his hips.

"Tord, I need you to look at me," Matt said softly, squeezing his hand as a way to ground him. Tord slowly lowered his other arm, staring at Matt with a look of pure fear and terror. "It's going to be okay, you just need to breathe. Can you do that with me?" Tord nodded shakily, his own grip tightening.

"In 3, out 5," Matt said, doing it along with tord. It took some time, but tord's breathing slowly became less raged. He closed his eyes tightly, his breathing finally matched a normal pace.

"Are you okay now?" Tom asked, nuzzling him. From what he could see, Tord's face was dusted a light pink. Tord nodded, slipping his hand free from Matt's hold to continue signing. "I'm sorry, i don't know what happened. I'm feeling better now, just really drained." 

"Panic attacks take a lot out of you. If you don't want to talk about anything, you don't have to." Matt said. Tord nodded.

"Can we just cuddle? Please?" Tord asked softly, and Tom couldn't help but grin at his boyfriend's innocent question. He nodded, pressing a kiss to his temple. "Of course my little stjerne," Tom smirked, watching as Tord flushed even more.

Tord hummed, muffled giggles shaking his shoulders. "We love you so much Tord, so so much. You're such an amazing tord." Matt mumbled, taking his hand and placing a gentle kiss on his palm. "I wish I could see your pretty smile, its the prettiest smile in the world" 

Tord's face was bright red, he attempted to cover his face. Tom wouldn't let him though, peppering more kisses on his face. "Don't hide, you're so beautiful. Why don't you let us make you feel good for once." He mumbled into his soft skin. 

It had been so long Tom forgot how much he loved making tord blush. Tord had always been a sucker for praise and nicknames, it was always a blast making him flush with each cute nickname. 'Buttercup, sunshine, sweetie pie, strawberry.' If only Tom could see the dopey smile that tord always wore. 

Tom kissed each scar on his cheek, soft words of praise with each pass of his lips. He felt the bed shift beside him and saw Edd sitting up and sleepily rubbing his eyes. He stopped when he saw tord was awake.

"He woke up a little bit ago, we're smothering him in love since he thinks he doesn't deserve it," Tom said, motioning for Edd to join them. He crawled over a look of slight shock over his face. 

Edd wrapped his arms in Tord's midsection, resting his head against Tord's shoulder. Tord made some sort of alarmed chirp, panicked at the sudden contact. "Shh, it's okay, it's just me," Edd said softly, nuzzling his neck and pressing light kisses. Tord took a deep, shuddering breath, placing his free hand on top of Edd's. 

"Hey edd, do you remember all the cute nicknames we used to call Tord?" Tom smirked. Tord whined, trying to hide in his hoodie. Edd seemed to light up, and a tiny smirk spread across his face. 

"How could I forget? He's our stjerneskinn " 

Tord let out a muffled, yet clear. "Noooo!" Giggles floated around the room as tord attempted to escape the loving embarrassment. Finally, he just gave up, giggling with them. After all the pain and worry they just went through, it felt good to just laugh. To see him laugh. He deserved to be happy.

_____

Mark, Eduardo, Jon, and Todd were all seated in Eduardo's living room. Eduardo was grumbling in annoyance. Their neighbors were being extremely loud, yelling at each other, and moving furniture. 

"Ugh, they're always so goddamn loud!" Eduardo groaned, glaring up at the ceiling. Jon hummed, reaching out to grab his hand.

"Maybe we should go see what's wrong." Jon inquired, setting his cup of tea down on the coffee table. 

"Can you just go see what's up?" Eduardo asked. Jon nodded.

"Be right back!" Taking a deep breath, Jon stuck his arms out to rest on the table and closed his eyes. 'Focus' he thought, imagining the feeling of being detached. His skin grew cold and pale, his eyed dulling and closing, his breathing becoming shallow. Finally, Jon's body slumped forward.

If his friends didn't know any better, they might've thought he was dead. But in fact, he wasn't. Floating behind his body, invisible to the human eyes, was Jon. "Please hurry back," Todd called. 

Jon passed through the walls with ease, floating up into Edd's flat. It was only then he noticed it had gone quiet. The place looked a mess, tables and chairs turned over and furniture moved oddly. "Oh dear, did they get into a fight?" He asked no one. Not like anyone could hear him.

Jon floated farther into the seemingly empty apartment, but stopped when he noticed something. Dark crimson puddled on the floor. Was that… blood? He couldn't smell anything in his current state, but he was sure if he could it wouldn't be very pleasant.

Traveling in farther, he saw a trail of blood leading from the window to Edd's open bedroom. Seeing the blood splattered across the floor, Jon suddenly realized that the blood wasn't leading to the bedroom. 

It was leading away from it. 

He rushed to the window. There was no one there. Something was wrong, very, very wrong. Turning away from the sickening mess he saw that the front door was wide open. A meow. Ringo was looking dead at him, meowing loudly. She walked to the window, then looked back at him. 

He could feel the temperature dip, a warning. "I'll be right back, I need to get Eduardo." He said, letting his body fall through the floor and back into Eduardo's living room. Eduardo was holding Jon's physical hand, a slight look of concern crossing his features. 

Jon phased into his own body, feeling each part of him gain physical weight. Pain, while dull, it was there. It took him a moment before he sat up. He couldn't quite move yet, and he still wore that lifeless stare.

"They finally shut up," Eduardo said softly, squeezing his still ice-cold hand. Jon blinked. 

"What was going on up there? You were gone for a while." Mark pointed out. Slowly he nodded, cognitive function slowly returning.

"Somethings wrong. They aren't up there." Jon said, feeling and warmth returning to his limbs. He flexed his wrist absentmindedly.

"Probably just went out. Maybe they were arguing about where to go!" Todd said, reentering the room. Jon hadn't noticed he was gone in the first place.

"No, something's seriously wrong. Everything was a mess and there was a lot of blood on the floor." Jon said, taking a deep breath before standing up. He still felt detached but in a different sense.

"Blood?" Mark asked, a face scrunching up in worry. Jon nodded, looking up at the ceiling. 

"Let's go," Eduardo said, standing up and putting his shoes on. Mark and Todd quickly followed. Jon led them to the lift, and they went up to the next floor. Edd's door was still wide open, and the four of them entered the flat with no issue.

"What… Happen..?" Eduardo asked, looking around. Jon approached the couch, finding a cell phone in a dark blue case. He picked it up and walked back over to the rest of them. He held up the device for them to see.

"Tom's phone." 

"We should call the police," Todd said after a moment. Eduardo nodded, reaching for his phone. Mark and Todd move to stand outside of the flat while Jon went back over to the window. He scooped up Ringo and followed behind Mark. He sat down against the wall, stroking Ringo's soft fur.

"This is really bad." Jon frowned. What could've happened to them? What if it was tord! He shuddered at the thought. Tord never seemed like a bad person, and Jon frequently found himself conversing with the silver-eyed boy during the few weeks before the 'incident.' But he wasn't nice. He was mean. He was mean and scary and almost killed him.

"Jon." He flinched when he felt a hand on his shoulder, looking over to see Todd sitting next to him. "Hey, it's okay. We're gonna get help." 

"Will they be okay?" He sniffled. Todd paused before removing his glasses.

"I'm going, to be honest with you, I really don't know. I don't know what's going on, or where they could be. But what I do know is that we're going to do our best to find out. To do that we need to keep our heads up. If you keep thinking something will go wrong, it will." Todd said seriously. It was an odd change from his normal demeanor, but Jon appreciated it. He offered his best smile.

"Yeah, yeah you're right. I'm sure they're fine." Jon said, rubbing his eyes. Todd returned the smile, adjusting his spectacles. 

The rest of the night pasted In a blur, red and blue lights and questions that never seemed to end. By the time it was all over Jon felt dead on his feet. Not far fetched since his physical body had been dying. He almost ran into the wall and Eduardo had to take Ringo. Eduardo led him to his apartment, sent Ringo down to do her own thing.

"Come on, I think we both need some sleep," Eduardo grunted, practically dragging his half-asleep boyfriend to his room. Eduardo changed into his pj's while Jon opted to swipe one of Eduardo's hoodies. "You're giving that back."

"Suuuure" he drawled, flopping down on the bed. Eduardo shook his head and lay down next to him. Jon snuggled closer to him, a question just at the tip of his tongue. His body seemed to have other plans as tiredness washed over him and he found himself fast asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will I ever talking about Jon and that weird thing? Nope. Not explicitly in the story that is. On wattpad I have an info book were that info maybe, but again, I like not answering question.
> 
> Also, I love how paul got his arm broken in chapter 6, and no one has yet to call me out of the fact and that I didn't acknowledge it at all.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Paul gets the love he's been missing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *evil laughter as I sip my lemonade ice tea*

Paul sniffled quietly, curled up in the farthest corner he could put himself in. In all the struggle, he hadn't even noticed that his arm was broken. No one else noticed it either because It was never taken care of. He'd stopped trying to escape for fear of making it worse. Silently, he hoped they just killed him. 'Patryck is dead. ' it repeated over and over again in his mind. He didn't want to believe it, especially coming from Pay. They were brothers, right? Why would he do something like that?

"What am I gonna do?" He whined, letting his head fall back against the cold wall. Here he was, trapped in a tiny room, cuffed to the wall, his husband dead, and his son's life in jeopardy.

He flinched when he heard his door open. No one had come to see him in such a long time. It was a boy with poofy cyan in a black sweater under a white overcoat. He had a metal cart with him, but Paul couldn't tell what was on it.

"Hello Paul!" the boy smiled, pushing the cart closer to paul. 

"Please go away, I'm so tired I can't take it anymore," he said, drawing his knees up to try and hide. "Don't hurt me, don't hurt me please." 

"Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you, I promise." He said, stepping away from the cart and towards him. He could see Tyler written on his name tag.

"You're not…?" Paul mumbled, sniffling and trying to stop his tears. When had he even started crying? "Why?"  
  


"Why would I hurt you? You've just been sitting here, crying." Tyler said. Paul looked down, feeling even worse.

"I don't need your stupid pity!" Paul snapped, but immediately flinched back upon seeing Tyler's reaction. While brief, irritation flashed across his face. 

"I'm not pitying you, I just wanted to be nice. Black leader is displeased with your current mental state, and it's all Kai's fault." Tyler said, turning away from Paul. A horrid feeling filled Paul's chest and he desperately tried to fix his stupid mistake.

"Wait!" Paul gasped. "Don't leave, please. I don't want to be alone again. I'm sorry!" He whimpered, hoping that he wouldn't leave. He was weary, yes, but god he was so scared, and so, so lonely. 

"When was the last time someone came in here?" Tyler asked, going to the cart.

"I. Don't. Know! A long, long time ago! I've been stuck in here forever!!" Paul said, hiding his face as his shoulders shook. 

"You've been in here for a week and a half." Tyler moved back in front of Him. He knelt down right in front of paul. Paul wanted to trust him, but the image of Kai doing the same thing freaked him out. Tyler placed a water bottle down on the floor and gently set his hand on Paul's knee.

"Hey, remember? I'm not going to hurt you. I'm just giving you some water." He said slowly, rubbing gentle circles. Paul took a deep breath, bringing up his left hand to clean his face. He was handed a cool water bottle. "There you go!" 

"T-thank you!" he squeaked, fiddling with the cap. A frown crossed his features as he realized he couldn't open the stupid bottle! 'Stupid, weak, worthless, can't even open a water bottle. You don't deserve his niceness.' He gasped softly as the bottle was taken from him. Tyler opened it for him, smiling softly.

"Here you go!" He grinned, handing the bottle back to him. Paul nodded but couldn't stop his tears. The voices wouldn't shut up, and it just made him feel even worse. "What's wrong?"

"I'm stupid and weak, and everything is falling apart." Paul cried, nearly dropping the water bottle. 

"I don't think you're any of those things."

"But I am. I got us stuck here, I couldn't do anything to save tord, and now I'm stuck in this room crying! I can't even open the stupid bottle on my own!" Paul sobbed, allowing Tyler to take the drink from him. 

"You've done so much more than that though. You managed to raise a kid, serve in the army, and hey, you're still alive, aren't you?" Paul paused. He thought over the soldier's words.

"Your right!" He said, a tiny smile forming on his face. He grabbed the bottle, drinking half the thing to soothe his dry throat. He took a deep breath, patting. It felt good. "Thank you."

"No problem." Tyler grinned, ruffling his hair. Paul felt himself smiling at this. Such a simple action, yet it made him feel so warm inside. He never realized how much he missed something as domestic as getting his hair messed with.

"I.. Um.. Hey, my arm.." He weakly lifted it. Maybe he would be willing to help…" It's-Its broke. It really hurts, and- and I don't know if you wanted to leave it like this but could you- could you please fix it?" 

"Broken..?" Tyler tilted his head, a skeptical look crossing his features, and that warm small was gone. Paul nodded frantically. "I'm going to uncuff you to take a closer look, I trust you won't try anything, correct?" He nodded again. Tyler carefully removed the iron cuff that trapped him there and held his broken arm with care. 

Paul whimpered in pain but tried not to show just how much it hurt him. Rolling up his hoodie sleeve, they both saw the bone poking at the skin and the weird angle it laid. Tyler frowned deeply.

"Can you hold your arm for me real quick?" Nodding, Paul cradled his broken appendage. Tyler got up and walked back over to the cart, cursing under his breath. "I'm going to inform Pay of this, wait here." He muttered before leaving. 

Paul whimpered in fear, curling in on himself. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath. I'm fine, I'm going to be fine. It's just paid. I've got this.' Pau thought to himself, calming himself down. His silver eyes opened once more. 

Pay entered the room with a small bag under his arm. He looked a mix between irritated and worried. "Ugh, I can't believe nobody caught it! How did nobody fucking notice a broken arm!?" He grumbled under his breath. Pay sat down in front of pau, digging through his bag. 

Paul watched him with bated breath. "Here, let me see your arm." Pay said, turning back to face him. Paul gently held out his arm, breathing deeply. Pay inspected it, taking out what looked like a sling. "It looks like a clean break, but I'll have to make sure." He said calmly, helping his arm into the sling to keep it in place. Paul froze up when he saw the syringe he pulled from his bag.

"What's that for…?" He asked, a hint of worry in his tone. Pay looked back to him, face unreadable. He stared for a moment longer before he gave him a look of sympathy. 

"I'm putting you to sleep. I've got to put your bones back in place." He said, voice gentle. Paul was still worried, but there wasn't exactly much he could do. 

A sharp prick.

A drowsy feeling.

Darkness.

__________

When Paul woke again, he found himself in a soft warm embrace. The surface he was laying on was soft, completely different from the stone floor of the cell. He hummed softly, cuddling closer to the warmth that held him. 

A hand brushed his hair out of his face, resting on his cheek. A quiet sigh, and lips pressed against his forehead. 'Who..?' He thought sleepily.

Carefully, he opened his eyes, coming face to face with someone he thought was dead. "Patryck…?" He whispered.

"Hey…" Patrick smiled gently, pulling him even closer to him. 

____________

2 month ago

Edd walked through the mall, it was relatively calm for a Saturday. It felt good to be out of the house and away from his overbearing boyfriends. He loved them, yes, but sometimes he just needed to be alone. What was better than walking through the mall? He got to shop and for just one day he was nobody. Just a face in the crowd. Looking over the people that passed through the main area, his eyes landed on a familiar pair of men in hoodies. He felt a smile grace his features as he approached

"Hey!" Edd called, walking up to the two men. The two in question seemed startled at first, clearly not expecting to run into him. "Nice to see you again, thought I'd come to say hi!" 

"Oh," Paul blinked, at a loss for words. "Um, well it's nice to see you too. It's a nice day for shopping, yeah?" 

"Yeah, how are you guys doing?" Edd asked.

"How are you?" Patryck asked, shifting the bags on his arms. He seemed uncomfortable.

"I'm doing okay! Um, how's the search going?" Edd asked sheepishly, quietly wondering if that was even an okay question to ask. Watching the way Patryck frowned deeply, and Paul reaching out to hold his hand, Edd started to think maybe it wasn't. 

"Um… maybe not in such a crowded place?" Patryck looked around nervously. "How about we talk over coffee?" 

"That sounds nice." Edd smiled comfortingly. The three of them made their way downstairs to the food quart, talking about anything related to him. It was during this convo edd found out some interesting things about them.

They reached a small café, and they were quick to order and choose a small booth in the corner. "I really need to get out of the house more." Edd sighed, taking a bit out of the blueberry muffin he'd gotten.

"Agreed" Paul hummed, taking a sip from his coffee. 

"Um... To answer your question... Not well." Patryck mumbled softly, looking at the table. 

"I'm sure he's fine! Tord's one of the strongest people I know." Edd said, fond memories of tord filling his mind. It helped him feel better. "Oh, I've been meaning to ask you. What is tord to you? How do you know him?" He asked.

"He's our son." Oh. Now he felt even worse for bringing this stuff up.

"I'm assuming you already know about me, right?" He asked, poking his muffin. 

"Yes. Tord talked about you, Matt, and Tom a lot growing up. He was very fond of you." Patryck said with a soft smile. 

"Really..?" Edd mumbled. He'd assumed that tord didn't love them anymore, but maybe he was wrong…

"I remember the day in high school when you asked him out. He came home all giddy and excited." Pat chuckled fondly, but still held a hint of sadness in his eyes.

"Ahh, I remember that day," Edd mumbled, fiddling with his hoodie strings. "It took a lot of courage to do that, but I'm glad I did." 

"Me too, you honestly made him a lot happier," Paul said, taking a long sip from his coffee. This made his heart swell and tears filled his eyes.

"I'm glad." He smiled, rubbing his eyes. His phone began vibrating, and he quickly pulled it out. "Oh-oh! Tom's calling, I have to go. It was nice talking with you, I'm sure everything will be fine." He gave his best smile, before quickly rushing out of the small shop. He put the phone to his ear, grinning.

"Hello, my love." 

"Where have you been? You went out for a walk three hours ago!" Tom snapped into the phone, but Edd knew he was just worried. 

"I was out shopping and ran into a few friends." Edd smiled softly, staring up at the sky.

"Oh? With who?" Tom asked. Edd hummed as he made it to his car. 

"Tord's dad's." The other side went very quiet. Edd placed his bags into the passenger seat.

"How… how are they doing? Are they handling this well?" Tom mumbled softly. 

"They're doing well. We had some coffee." He said, putting his phone on speaker and setting it in the cupholder.

"Um, that's good to know. " Tom said, sighing loudly. He had been feeling guilty ever since that day and had been worried about tord's family.

"Have you just been worrying over me the past few hours?" Edd asked, smiling softly to himself.

"Well yeah! I just wanted to make sure you're okay." Tom huffed. 

I'll be there soon, okay?" Edd said, starting up his car. Tom sighed from the other side. 

"Love ya."

"Love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost stressed myself to tears trying to he this out on time, be greatful.  
> Also I'm laughing  
> What's your opinion on Tyler?


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry  
> Like I say that, and I'm not.  
> You knew it was coming.  
> The tags told you everything.

Patryck buried his head in Paul's messy hair, humming in relief. Paul's arms tightened around his midsection, his shoulders beginning to shake. 

"Oh my god." He whispered shakily. "I thought you were dead! I was so worried, I'm so glad you're okay! I thought I lost you forever." 

"Dead? Paul, I'm right here, I would never leave you like that." Patryck soothed, rubbing soft circles in his back. Pau gasped softly, tears dripping down his face. "Shh, shh, I'm okay, I promise. I'm here, I'm right here."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He whined, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. Patryck was confused. Why was he sorry?

"Pau, there's no need to be sorry." 

"But I am. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it, I didn't I- Do you still love me? You do, right? Please, please don't leave me." Paul covered his mouth, hyperventilating. 

"Leave? Paul, I'd never leave you, why would you even think like that?" Patryck frowned, tilting his head up to meet his eyes. 

"It's my fault, it's all my fault. I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Paul gasped, his grip tightening. "My fault, my fault, it's all my fault! I got you stuck here, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry." 

"NO!" Paul flinched, and Patryck immediately felt bad. He took a deep breath. "It's not your fault, it was never, ever your fault. I love you, I'll always love you and I'll never leave you!" Patryck said, tears of his own spilling down his face.

"I love you-" Paul squeaked. He buried his head in Pat's chest. "I love you too, I love you, so, so much. Please don't-"

"I'm right here Pauly, I'm right here. I love you too." Patryck kissed his forehead.

"I'm sorry."

"Paul I swear to god it's-"

"No, not that. I'm sorry… I want to be strong for you, but I can't."

"So let me be strong for you." Paul looked up at him, confusion and surprise on his face. "You've always been there for me, let me be there for you for once." Patryck leaned in, their foreheads touching. 

"I-... Thank you.." Paul gave him a tiny smile. 

"I'm so glad you're okay. You know, I was worried about you too. I had no idea if you were okay or what they were doing to you.." 

"I'm fine!" He squeaked. Pat frowned, staring down at his husband. "I mean, they didn't really hurt me. They hurt you though…" 

"They didn't physically hurt you." He said, and Paul hid his face. 

"Um, they fixed my arm though…" Pat raised his eyebrow, and Paul raised his arm, which now was in a cast.

"What happened!?"

"I don't know! It was just broken and I didn't realize until after the fact."

"At least you're okay!" Pat sighed. He laid down on the bed with Paul still in his arms. "That's all that matters to me."

________

Jon walked next to mark, a bucket full of cleaning supplies. It was becoming incredibly obvious that edd and them wouldn't be coming up soon, and Mark suggested that they clean up Edd's flat. It was the least they could do. Jon and Eduardo had been very worried, as they were now coming up on a full month of them being missing. Mark and Todd did their best to keep their hopes up, and to that Jon had to be very grateful. 

Even when he was just a little kid he'd always been a worrier. He worried about if he was too skinny, or if he was too short. He worried if everyone would hate him because his backpack was too blue, or if he'd lose his best friend because he'd developed some more than platonic feelings. Then those worries grew and grew. What if something horrible happened to him? Would anyone care? What if he got kidnapped? What if Eduardo changed his mind and broke up with him?

"Jon…?" Mark placed a hand on his shoulder, a worried look on his face. Jon would always be a worrier, but that didn't mean he had to make everyone else worry.

"Yeah?" He said, giving Mark a tiny smile. This seemed to make the blond a little less worried. 

"Just wanted to know if you're okay." 

"Yeah, I'm good." Mark nodded, and they both entered the apartment. It was still a mess. It made his gut knot. He couldn't help but think about the incident a little over 4 months ago. Tord… He had to have been behind this, right? "What could've possibly happened to them..?"

"I don't know Jon, but I think it's safe to say they didn't leave on their own.." Mark sighed, turning the hot faucet on, and waited until it warmed up. 

Nodding solemnly, Jon took the supplies out of the bucket and put it in the sink under the tap. He left Mark in the kitchen to go tidy up the rest of the house. He pushed the furniture back into place, frowning. They really should've done this sooner. It was gonna be really hard to get the blood out of the floor now…

"Jon, I'm seriously getting worried about you buddy." Mark sighed, setting the bucket of warm bleach water on the floor next to the bloodstain. 

"Huh? Oh sorry, just thinking."

"About?"

"How hard it's gonna be to get this blood out." Jon sighed, grabbing a rag and dunking it in the bucket. Mark hummed in agreement. Shutting the window and fixing the blinds.

"Well, I say we have a little time to work things out." Mark hummed. Jon knelt on the floor, scrubbing the stupid stain while hoping it wouldn't damage the floors too much.

"We should do something fun, like watch a movie or something. It's not very fun being stressed all the time." Jon said, smiling as some of the blood lifted. 

"That sounds nice." Mark nodded. They spent the better part of the next hour working quietly. Jon let his thoughts wander, but this time they traveled to more happier places.

"I think this looks good for now," Jon said, and Mark was already above him, holding his hand out to help Jon up. "We can finish up tomorrow." 

"Well come on, we have a movie to watch." 

"Yeah."

* * *

3 month from 1

When tord woke back up, he found himself slouched over a table. He was confused and slightly dazed. Sitting up, he noticed a few things. He was alone in an empty room, and his body was strapped down to the chair he was sitting in. He tried to free himself, but the pain that shot up from his right arm had him hunched over pain, whimpering softly. Where was he..? How did he get here? Memories filled his mind, answering his questions. 

Fuck. 

He hoped that Pau and Pat were okay… He jumped when he heard a door open, and a strange man entered the room. He approached the table tord was currently seated at and took his own, grinning.

"Hello there Mr. Larson. I've heard a lot about you." The male in front of him smiled, seemingly innocent. Tord gridded his teeth, wondering who this man was and just how he had gotten any information on him. "It's wonderful to meet you, the names Tyler."

"What have you heard?" Tord asked. He wanted to know. 

"Oh, the usual. You managed to start your own army, and in 4 years you've managed to make yourself known." He said, leaning in closely. This man was giving off all the wrong vibes, which confused Tord as he appeared to be a nice man. No soldier who kidnapped him before had been this openly friendly with him.

"Tsk, that all? Just tell me what you want from me." The boy laughed softly, eyes filled with a look that promised pain. This made the twisting feeling in his gut intensify.

"I know a lot about you. You were born in Norway and moved to England when you were 4. Attended Park wood high school and moved in with your four closest friends." Tord felt like he was going to be sick. He didn't like how he said closest friends, and knowing that this random man who he'd never even met knew so much about him scared him. "I think you can guess why you're here, Mr larsøn." 

"You want my base locations, don't you?" He frowned deeply. That smile. 

"Correct. You're so smart!" Tyler grinned. Tord continued to glare. A subconscious part of him jumped at the praise, but the fact it was coming from some floofy haired boy who knew far too much crushed any positive reaction.

"Well I'm sorry to inform you but you're not getting it," Tord said, shifting his eyes off of him. He seemed so friendly, tord wanted to be able to relax. "My men will shoot you fuckers down soon enough." Another laugh.

"Is that so Mr. Larsøn? Well, I guess I have to inform you of something sad too. Your soldiers won't be finding you anytime soon." He said. Tord still refused to meet his eyes. 

"What makes you so sure of that?" 

"Don't you know who exactly you're dealing with?" Slowly, Tord shook his head. "You're currently in a black army base."

"W-what..?" Tord whipped around to face him, cursing himself quietly for his reaction. 

"I'm black leader's right-hand man, don't you feel honored to talk to me." He said. Tord felt mortified. The strongest army in the world… no wonder tord had been so uneasy about this man. 

"As if!" Tord glared at the wall to his left. There was a dark chuckle that sent shivers down his spine, Tyler grabbed his chin and forced him to look at him.

"It's impolite to not look at your host." He said, and tord felt honestly horrified. Why? He was the great red leader, and this stupid smiling bitch was sending him into levels of fears he never felt. 

"You know, Mr. Larsøn, you sure are an interesting man. Since you want to make things hard for yourself, I will have my fun with you."

"Excuse me? What the hell does that mean?" tord asked, leaning away from him. 

Tyler stood, walking over to his side of the table. "Why don't I show you?" His chair was turned to face him as Tyler knelt down to his level. Tord's eyes widened as Tyler's lips pressed against his. Immediately alarms went off in his head. 

_'Wrong wrong this is so wrong. What would Tom, Edd, and Matt think? No no no no no stop it.'_

Tord tried desperately to push him off, to move away, to do anything to stop the awful violation, but he was powerless. Tears pricked his eyes. He was strapped down, body weak and his right side useless. He couldn't breathe, his chest was tight and he felt so trapped.

Tyler squeezed his right arm loosely causing him to gasp. He took this opportunity to deepen the kiss, forcing his way into tords mouth. 

_'Stop him, stop him, stop him, why are you just sitting there? Do something before he does!_ ' His mind screamed at him as dizziness set in. He bit down on Tyler's tongue, the metallic taste of copper filling his tongue. Finally, the green eyed boy pulled back, his pale lips dribbled with crimson. He wore a wide grin as he wiped away some of the blood.

Tord panted heavily, trying to replenish the much-needed oxygen. His wide eyes never left Tyler as he tried to compose himself. 

He was the leader of an army, yet here he was crying over a kiss. 

"Get away from me." He growled out, wanting nothing more than to be far, far away from this creep. 

"That's precious, honestly, that you think that biting me would do you any good." Tyler mused in a low chuckle, sounding both amused and angry. His smile fell as he spit out the blood that pooled in his mouth. 

A small gasp left his mouth as a hand connected with his cheek, and it took a moment for Tord to register he'd been slapped. Tyler looked irritated, and tord silently wondered how much worse he would be angry. Fingers wrapped around his throat.

"That wasn't very nice of you Mr. Larson. I don't want to hurt you, but if you don't listen I'll have to." Tyler said softly, leaning in closer.

"Leave me alone! I wouldn't have bitten you if you didn't kiss me!" He snapped, feeling tears slip down his face. Shamefully he hung his head. "Get away...please" he added after a moment. 

"Oh tordie, don't cry," Tyler said, cupping his face and clearing away his tears. He pressed a kiss below his eye. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to hurt you!" Tord held back tears, biting his lip. When would Paul and Patryck come and save him from this mess? Tyler pressed a quick kiss to his lips before standing up. "I only want to make you feel good, but I can't do that if you won't listen to me." 

Tyler waved before he left the room, leaving tord alone and scared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man  
> People on wattpad really said Tyler was cool  
> Mmmmm  
> Is he??


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's having a bad, horrible day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nsfw in this chapter, sorry. Also I'm posting this a day early because I'm excited.

Patryck woke up to find Paul sitting upright on the bed. He was quiet and stiff. He sat up, yawning, but froze when he saw the bandages around his neck peeking out from underneath his hoodie. "Paul..?" Paul didn't respond, didn't react. He just sat there, staring into space. Patryck was starting to get worried. He moved over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Paul, what's wrong?" Again, nothing.

He grabbed Paul's shoulders and made him face him. His eyes were glossy, face blank. Even if he was facing him, he wasn't actually looking at him. More like he was looking through him. "Paul, Paul look at me." Pat was starting to freak out. Why wasn't Paul reacting? Why wouldn't he look at him? "Paul?" He shook him gently, desperately hoping he'd get a reaction, but he didn't. Paul was like a shell of a human being, stuck in his head. "Why aren't you responding? Paul, I need you to say something, what happened?" 

Patryck shook him harder, fear taking over. Still, nothing. "Paul please," he whined. Why? What happened? Why didn't he notice him leaving the room? What was wrong with him? 

It seemed no matter what he did Paul just wouldn't react. Patryck wrapped his arms around his midsection, tears streaming down his face as his head fell against his chest. "Please, please just do something." He sobbed, begging at this point. What if he couldn't fix him? What if Paul stayed like this forever? No! No no, he couldn't…

"You have to do something, please please." He begged, shaking him lightly. That dead look, he couldn't take it. "I need you, I need you here. I can't keep this up forever. I can't be strong, not like you." 

He knew he had to, that as long as Paul was stuck like this he had to be there for him. He had to, but he didn't know if he could. He needed Paul, needed him to be okay. Even if he just cried and clung to him, he was still able to talk. Pat had the comfort of knowing he was there. Now it felt like he was alone, and he hated being alone. 

"I need you here, we have to get through together." 

**_______+++**

When tord woke, he immediately felt off. He was on a bed, one much softer than the beds in their holding room. He was alone, he couldn't feel his boyfriends next to him. Opening his eyes, he found himself in an entirely different place. He was on a big comfy bed, surrounded by fluffy pillows. What…? He sat up, confused. Looking down he saw he was in new clothes. An oversized shirt, his boxers, and black thigh-highs. Where was Matt's hoodie? Did he ruin yet another item of his loved ones?

A door opened and in walked the devil himself. He walked straight over to him, grinning innocently as if he wasn't there to ruin him. "Hello, Mr. Larson!" Tyler said, leaning in close. Too close. "It's been so long since I've gotten to play with you." 

"Huh, thought you finally took my advice and fucked off." Tord frowned. Leaning away in disgust. He hated him. 

"That's not very nice, now is it?" Tyler said, fingers finding themselves in tords hair. He tugged gently, but Tord knew that he could be so much rougher. "If you apologize, I might not hurt you. "

"I...i'm sorry." He gave in, looking down in shame. He would never understand why he was so scared of him, but he was. He was the only person who he actually listened to, out of fear. He had hoped that Tyler would leave him alone once he saw tord's boyfriends, but he didn't.

"See? You're so nice for me." He smiled, pressing his lips to tords. Despite how much he didn't want to, he kissed back. The familiar feeling of wrongness filled him. It was wrong, it was horrible. It felt even worse considering that he'd been so close with his boyfriends lately. 

Tord couldn't face them knowing he'd been kissed by another. That he'd been touched by another. It wasn't like he wanted this! He didn't. He never wanted this, but he didn't fight anymore. Tyler had made it known time and time again that he could hurt him horribly. Now knowing his loved ones were in the building, he was scared that Tyler might hurt them. 

Tyler pulled back, panting softly. His cheeks were dusted pink, and he wore a lazy smirk. "I love it when you listen to me. I can be so sweet with you." Tyler mumbled. 

"Yeah…" he whimpered, feeling tears pushed past. Why couldn't he fight back like always? Why couldn't he put up with the pain like he always did?

"Shh, shh. There's no need to cry. I know you're scared, but I'll take care of you." He hushed, kissing his forehead. 

"But what about Matt, Tom, and edd? How will I ever face them again?" He asked, hugging himself. 

"You don't need them, don't think about them." He said, and it was clear he was angry at the mere mention of them. His teeth sunk into the junction where his neck and shoulder met. He gasped softly, whimpering at the contact. "You should be mine." 

"Please, please, please. I don't want to." He begged. A chuckle. Tyler continued to suck Hickey's against his pale skin. They were so obvious, even with a hoodie they'd be visible. "They're gonna see, I don't want them to see." 

"Let them see, I want them to." Tyler grinned, his hands slipping up his shirt. Tord bit his lip as Tyler tweaked his nipples. His face reddened, and all he wanted to do was curl up and die."You look so pretty for me, all red-faced." 

Tord was trembling, a feeling of wrongness seemed to multiply as a feeling of… pleasure filled him..? No! He was so sensitive in that area, and couldn't stop his reactions. Lifting his shirt, he bit his nipple, electing a whimper. His hands shot up to his mouth.

"Such pretty sounds, don't hide them from me," Tyler said, sucking lightly. Tord felt like his world was spinning. He felt frozen, and the unwanted pleasure filled him with confusion. This wasn't supposed to feel good! What was wrong with him? Tord bit his lip, moans, and whimpers falling out. 

Tyler moved away, and for a second he thought he'd be spared. As Tyler fiddled with his buckle, Tord wondered why he ever thought he'd be that lucky. He felt his fear levels spike. Sure, Tyler kissed him a bunch and touched him in ways he disliked, but he never once did this. He wasn't planning on actually fucking him, was he? Tyler chuckled darkly, and Tord's eyes widened at the size.

"Come on, why don't you show me what that mouth can do." He mumbled, stroking his member. Tord whimpered softly, staring up with pleading eyes. 'Please don't make me do this,' he thought silently. The tip was pressed to his lips, and there was a dark look in his dark green eyes. 'I'm sorry.'

Tord wasn't one for blow jobs, but he did his best. He kissed the tip, eyes watching him carefully. He started with small kisses and licks, shivering when he felt a hand in his hair. "Don't be a tease, Tordie." Tyler thrust deep, and tord was glad he didn't gag. "Holy shit! You don't have a gag reflex." he groaned, clutching his hair painfully tight. He whimpered at the stinging, wanting it to stop. 

It felt awful! It felt so fucking awful. He couldn't fucking breathe! Teary-eyed, he prayed that this would end. "You're so good," he mumbled, thrusting deeply. Tord groaned, which only seemed to pleasure him further. Damnit! Sometimes he wished he did have a gag reflex, or that he was well-fed enough to puke. But he wasn't and he was forced to endure the repeated motions.

"Mm, close." Tyler groaned, and that was Tord's only warning before Tyler came deep in his throat. It was so much, too much. He had no choice but to swallow, some escaping his mouth and dripping down his chin. Finally, Tyler pulled out. 

Tord coughed and sputtered, desperately trying to bring air into his lungs. Trying to rid his mouth of the taste. Tyler chuckled. "You did so so good,"

"You're sick." He spat, the horrid taste of semen in the back of his throat. "A sick fuck, you know that!?"

"I'm sick?"

"Yes! Forcing me to do something so vile!" He whined, glaring at him with wet eyes.

"Well you seemed to enjoy it just as much, so who's sick now?" Tyler said, rubbing his hard-on through his boxers. Tord squeaked, shame and confusion filling him. No-no-no. Why was he…? 

"I don't.. I…it didn't.."

"It's fine dear, you don't have to hide how good it feels." He grinned, pulling tord into another heated kiss. Tord felt like he was going to pass out, overwhelmed.

"So tired, please," Tord whined as Tyler pulled back. Tyler frowned but soon smirked. "Please, I might faint." 

"Shh, don't you worry baby, you did so well for me, I'll take care of you," He chuckled darkly, pushing him to lay back on the bed. Tord suddenly felt even more uncomfortable and scared. Tyler crawled over him, dragging his hands down Tord's body slowly, and tord suddenly understood what the hell he just got himself into. Suddenly he felt his fear spike to brand new levels he never wanted to feel again.

**_____+++**

Tom felt absolutely disgusted. Edd was trying to rationalize it, trying to defend him, but _he knew_. Tom knew he felt the same way. How could they not?

There was Tord, laying on the bed in front of them, neck covered with hickeys. His wrist brushed, lips kiss swollen, scratches running down his thighs, or what they could see. He was wearing thigh-highs. It didn't take a genius to figure out what he'd been doing. "He wouldn't do that to us tom. Come... Come on, he wouldn't." 

"I don't see any rope bruises like before, so he wasn't tied down. Dammit, let's just face the facts." 

Edd fell quiet, staring down at his boyfriend. Matt was on the other bed, quiet. He was hurt, of course, he was. Tom was almost tempted to give tord Matt's hoodie back. Just to see if he'd lie about it. But Matt said no, Matt took his hoodie back. 

Watching Tord's tired grey eyes open sent so many emotions rushing through him. "Come on sleeping beauty." Tord yawned, eyes moving to him. He seemed a little confused.

"It's not like we've got anywhere to be, I'm tired."

"I would bet, I'm sure you're sooo tired," Tom growled. Tord sat up, wincing. Tord never bottomed for them. What made the new guy so special?

"What are you on about?" He mumbled as if he wasn't openly displaying his sins.

"What am I talking about, commie? I don't know, look down and tell me what the fuck I'm talking about!?" He all but screamed, tord flinching in obvious fear.

"Tom-"

"No edd, stop sticking your neck out for him." He turned to Edd, voice softer but still holding its edge. When he looked back to tord, he saw him covering his neck, face flushed as he avoided Tom's eye.

"Look tom, it… it isn't what it looks like." He said slowly, embarrassed.

"Oh? Because what it looks like is after everything, you went off with some random soldier to satisfy your stupid needs. Look at you, it's like you wanted us to see it."

"I didn't!" Tord insisted, biting his lip.

"So you were just going to hide this from us?" Edd asked, frown deepening.

"I.. Um… no. I mean-"

"Shut up!" Tom screamed. "I can't believe you, that'd you'd do something so vile! I sure hope they felt good, you- You-"

"Please just let me explain," Tord begged, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Explain what? There's nothing to talk about. You can't - can't talk your way out of this one." 

"Tom I didn't want to hurt you, I promise."

"Should have thought about that before you went off to be some 2 pence whore for some soldier that must be so much better than us." Tom spat, and yeah, he could admit that was a little harsh. The look of genuine hurt in Tords eyes, the way the tears seemed to multiply, it all made Tom feel awful.

"Tom! That was too far." Edd said, and Tom didn't fight him because he was right. 

"I didn't want to, I never wanted to." He whined, covering his face. Tom could feel guilt slowly filling him. "He made me, made me do such horrible things no matter how much I begged him not to. Please, you have to believe me. You know.. You know I'd never do that, I.."

"Tord… I'm sorry, it isn't your fault." Edd said, crawling over to Tord. His eyes lingered on Tom, silently telling him to fix his mistake. 

"I didn't… I didn't want to…" Tord sobbed brokenly, breaking Tom's heart. He did that, didn't he? He rushed over, pulling tord into his lap.

"I'm sorry, I was just so upset I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean it, I didn't mean any of it." Tom said quickly, holding Tord tightly to his chest. "It's not your fault, I promise. I'm so sorry." 

"It felt so awful, I feel so dirty." He whimpered, gagging. Tom felt so bad, so fucking bad. He didn't know, he shouldn't have said that regardless. "It's like I can still taste it."

"Shh, shhh, it's alright. It's gonna be alright." He soothed, trying not to cry. Matt was suddenly next to him, crying as well. "It's not your fault."

"I'm sorry, I was so scared he'd hurt you I couldn't fight. He's so... So scary. I just let him, but I didn't want to." He babbled. "It hurts, it hurts to move. I'm scared he'll do it again." 

"We won't let him hurt you ever again," Matt whispered. Tord nodded but continued to cry. Cry, cry and cry, mindlessly babbling, apologizing, whining about how gross or wrong, or broken he felt, asking over and over if they still love him, what was wrong with him. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I love you so much. You know I wouldn't hurt you, right?"

"Of course tordy, you have nothing to be sorry about." Edd would comfort.

"It's like I can still feel him, touching me, it's awful. I don't wanna feel like this, please please I feel so gross."

"It's gonna get better, I promise we're gonna help you." Matt would say, holding his hand tightly.

"Why? Why did It feel good in a sick way? I didn't… like it. No, I hated it, but it… Why? What's wrong with me? Why am I so broken now? Do you still love me? Even if I'm broken?"

"We love you, we'll love you no matter what because you've always been such a big part of us. You're not broken, and we'd be there for you even if you were. We'll put you back together." Tom said over and over again, each time his heartbreaking more and more. He never wanted to see someone as strong at tord like this. So broken. He wanted desperately to fix him, to bring back the strong man who never cried, who never showed his weakness. 

"I love you all so much," Tord said once again, and they were ready to hear another apology like the past hour. "Thank you… I'm so lucky to be yours."

"We're so happy to have you, Tordy," Edd said, forcing a shaky smile. Tom pressed a quick kiss to Tord's forehead as not to spook him. He was calming down, finally.

"Tired, I'm so tired… please just hold me, I wanna be in your arms," Tord begged, staring up at Tom pleadingly. 

"Of course, we'll hold you as long as we need to." Tom nodded, holding him just a little tighter. God how Tom wished for the old times. A couple of teenage boys running around doing stupid shit, laughing, falling in love… 

Now look at them, look at what they'd become.

___________

_Day 1_

The next time Tom woke up, he was in a small room. He was staring at the ceiling, and upon turning his head he found that he was lying on a bunk bed. He sat up, wondering how and why he was here. Suddenly he froze, eyes landing on a form across the room.

The room had an odd layout. A door on the wall across from him, a bed on the left wall, and a bed on the right. Laying on the left bed was a man with caramel hair. 

"How the fuck…?" He mumbled, sitting up fully. Tord was unconscious, his right side burned, and there seemed to be stitched up scars lining his face. Slowly, he moved down to the floor, quietly wondering if he should go over to him. He sat down on the bottom bunk, looking over his other boyfriend. He had a split lip but otherwise seems fine. Matt soon woke up, confused. 

Once his eyes landed on Tom, he jumped on him, crushing him in a hug. "Oh tom, are you okay? Did they hurt you?" Matt babbled, checking him over.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." Tom soothed, pressing a quick kiss to the tip of his nose. Matt seemed to calm from this, looking around the room. He let out a quiet gasp once he saw Tord, looking to Tom for the answers he couldn't provide. Matt rushed over to Edd once he saw him, pulling the injured brunette into his arms. Tom kept looking between them and Tord, thoughts swelling in his mind. It didn't take long for Edd to wake, springing up and looking around in fear. Matt hugged him tightly to calm him.

"What's going on..?" Edd asked quietly, hugging matt.

"I don't know. All I know is that we're stuck here. You think he has something to do with this?" Tom frowned, turning to glare at his passed out boyfriend. Could he still call him that? 

"Why would Tord have anything to do with this?" Edd asked.

"I didn't know! Ugh, I can't believe we're stuck here with that commie!" Tom grumbled, turning away and hugging himself. 

"Is he even alive?" Matt asked in a worried tone. 

"Well, he is breathing." Edd sighed, leaning closer to look at him. Tom rolled his eyes, wondering why he didn't just go over there himself. "I am worried though." Tom shook his head. All his anger from the past three months was spilling out. He betrayed them, he tried to kill them! Tom loved him, but how could he look past something so horrible? "Ah, he's waking!" 

Tom snapped out his thoughts at the shout. Two silver eyes opened, a tired yet perplexed look on his face. His eyes scanned the room quickly. "So you're finally awake!" Tom said, glaring at him harshly. 

"What the fuck…?" Was the response he received from the still dazed norskie. 

"Are you okay, Tord?" Edd asked with genuine concern. Tom wondered how he could be so okay with this. Wasn't he even a little upset with Tord? 

"Of course I'm fine. Why wouldn't I- fuck!" Tord cursed loudly as he tried to sit up. He collapsed back into bed, clutching his stomach. "I'm alright..." He coughed, crimson covering his face.

"Tord!" Edd gasped, jumping up and racing over to Tords bed. Tom felt his heart race at the sight but forced back any stupid worry he felt. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?" 

"I'm fine, Edd, just a little banged up," Tord said, hugging himself weakly. Edd frowned, using his hoodie sleeve to clean any excess blood that stuck to his face. He thumbed over one of the fading bruises on his cheek, which piqued Tom's interest. What happened? It was obvious something was wrong with him.

"So commie, you know why we're here?" Tom asked. He already knew the answer and knew Edd would probably scold him for asking it, but he couldn't help it. Tord raised an eyebrow at him questioningly. 

"No, why would i?" 

"You're always causing trouble, it'd make sense if you had someone kidnap us. What are they gonna do to us?!" Tord rolled his eyes at Tom's questions and closed his eyes... "Hey!"

"Tom, stop being so rude! Can you see he's hurt? Why would he have anything to do with this?" Edd scolded angrily. Tom huffed but otherwise didn't care. Tord grinned before more sickly coughs wracked his frame. Seeing the blood dripping from his lips, mixed with the fading bruises and scars, it made him sick. "Tord! Okay, this isn't normal, you're going to tell me what's wrong with you!"

"Edd." Tord whimpered softly, and Edd quickly moved him to lay in his lap. Tom noticed the glare Matt was giving him and had to stop himself from giggling. "It hurts…" Tord moaned, wrapping his arms around his midsection.

"What? What hurts? Matt, tom, get over here!" Tom reluctantly moved over to Tord's bed, Matt right next to him. Tom glared at Edd. Why? Why was he so ready to forgive him? Tord shook his head, his grip tightening on him. "Tord, where does it hurt?" 

"Jesus fuck Edd, he's not gonna tell you! Just leave commie to choke on his blood" Tom shook his head with a scoff. Edd gasped and Tord coughed wetly.

"Fuck you Jehovah, this is a new level of hate. Even I would try and help you." Tord said, forcing himself to sit up and move out of Edd's lap. "But you're right about that I guess, I can't tell you what's wrong"

"What? Why not Todd" Matt asked, reaching out to hold Edd's hand comfortingly.

"I just can't… okay?" he said, pressing himself into the farthest corner. 

"Tord….Please…" Edd whimpered, genuinely hurt by the fact he couldn't help him. "You know we're still your boyfriends, right? You know we care about you, right, Tord? So you have to tell us what's wrong…" 

A tear rolled down his cheek, and Tom couldn't help but feel bad. "I-I..." Tord squeezed his eyes shut, hiding his face. Tom met Matt's eyes. Tord wasn't one to cry, so seeing him like this was so weird. A part of him said that Tord deserved this, but another part of him just wanted to go over and comfort him. 

"It's… a lot." Tord whispered after a few minutes, hands moving to the hem of his tee-shirt. . "Don't freak out or anything… ugh," Taking a deep breath, Tord removed his black tee-shirt.

His chest was pained black and blue, his stomach the worst of it. Tom hadn't even noticed his arm before, which was covered in bandages. There were a few colorful band-aids put randomly. Just seeing this broke Tom's resolve.

"Oh..oh my god…" Edd breathed, covering his mouth. Tord whimpered softly, trying to cover himself back up. "Tord.." Edd gently grabbed the shirt and pulled it away. 

"What the fuck happened to you?" Tom asked, louder than he meant to. Tord flinched, curling in on himself.

"Can I.. Can I have my shirt back?" He asked weakly. Edd frowned, looking to Matt and Tom before handing Tord his shirt back. He quickly put the shirt back on, shaking.

"What happened?" He asked again, not receiving an answer. "Tord! What happened? You can't just fucking show us something like this and then not say anything!" 

"Why do you even care!?" Tord shot back, tears spilling down his face. 

"We're your boyfriends, of course, we care!" Edd said, reaching out to touch Tord but he flinched away. 

"You shouldn't, all I've ever done is hurt you!! Being my boyfriend will only hurt you. They'll hurt you if they know I care about you. Go away, please just leave me alone!" It fell quiet, no one knowing what to say. Edd turned to them, tears brimming his lime green eyes. 

Tom took a deep breath, motioning for Edd and Matt to move to the other bed. His eyes lingered on Tord arms for a moment, the scars standing out against his pale skin. 'He needs it more.' He thought, taking off this jumper and draping it over his shoulders. 

"What are we gonna do…?" Edd asked quietly. Glancing over, he saw that Tord was now in the jumper. Tom frowned. "And you! Tom, what the hell? What was that?" 

"I was mad, okay? I never forgave him." Tom snapped, before sighing softly. "But really… someone's hurting him, and I'm worried too."

"I'm sure he's fine," Matt said flippantly. Seems he was still a little upset too.

"Matt, it isn't that easy. Someone's obviously keeping us here, and they're hurting him too." Edd whimpered, clutching his sleeves as his eyes landed on the small Norwegian. Tom's eyes widened as a faint pink mist began to fill the room.

"What is that!?" He shrieked, instinctively grabbing onto Matt's arm. Tord poked his head out, looking around. 

"If you breathe it in you'll pass out…" Came Tord's soft voice, calm and collected. 

"What do we do..?" Edd asked frantically, clambering up to the top bunk.

"Smoke rises you, idiot! Get down!" Tom snapped. Edd squeaked, jumping down to Tords bed and jostling the poor boy around. "Damn it, commie! Is there a way we can get out of this?" 

"Not that I know of, the smoke is just gonna fill the entire room," Tord responded, a little winded.

"There has to be a way!" Edd said in distress, looking around in fear. Tord hung his head, not worried. Tom choked quietly, breathing in the toxic smoke. It felt like he was swallowing razors. It hurt! It hurt to breathe, it hurt to not breathe! His fingers gripped the bed sheets tightly, his head spinning. He wanted to make sure his boyfriends were okay but just couldn't lift his head.

The darkness that came was welcomed.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read the past few chapters closes you might fingure out what's wrong with Paul. Aka, what happened to him. :D  
> Do tell if you figure it out.


	16. Chapter 16

Patryck clung to Paul's midsection, voice hoarse and cracking. How long had they been here? A few days? Weeks? Must've been. How long had he spent crying over Paul, begging him to come back? A few hours? Perhaps a few days. He didn't know. All he knew is that he was scared and desperately crying. His time was spent sobbing while holding onto Paul, then he'd pass out from sheer exhaustion. When he'd wake he'd find Paul the same way and it'd all start over again. At some point he'd lost his voice, so he could no longer voice his fears. He'd stopped trying. 

For a few moments, he'd sit up, cradle Paul's face, and stared into his glassy eyes, swirling with cloudy emotions. He'd try and talk with him, hoping that even if Paul never reacted, he'd still hear Pat's soothing words. Now though it was nearly impossible to push the breathy words out. 

"Do you remember when we were still in high school?" Patryck croaked, watching as muted recognition flashed in his eyes. "Back then you were so closed off and reserved, even to me. You must've been so scared to be on your own. But then we got to know each other, and we fell in love. You brought me to a park late at night. Do you remember the song you sang to me when you finally told me you loved me? I do, I'll never forget.." 

Softly, he began to sing. "Someday, somewhere, somehow, you'll love again. You just need to find someone. Someday, somewhere, somehow, you'll love again. You just need to find someone. Someone, who treats you better, someone who wants you around. Someday, somewhere, somehow, you're gonna feel found." He couldn't talk anymore, his voice barely audible.

He closed his eyes for just a moment, letting his hands fall to his sides. Patryck was so tired, so broken down. He flinched when a hand cupped his cheek, and He very quickly looked up. Paul's glossy silver eyes were wet with tears. He was looking at him, not through him, gold met silver. His breathing was surprisingly even. "Today, right here, right now, i already feel found" he breathed, blinking away the tears.

Patryck tried desperately to talk, but his voice was so shot it hurt. Paul shushed him, eyes still a bit hazy but he gave him a vague smile. "Don't… strain yourself…" His speech was slow and slurred, like it too hurt to speak. Patryck nodded, pressing his forehead against Paul's. "Here… I'm right here."

"Paul.." He sobbed, biting his lip to try and silence himself. He gasped quietly. "Miss you, just want you, please…" 

"Shh, shhh. Don't hurt… yourself." Paul pressed a shaky kiss to his lips, holding his face comfortably. "It's… gonna be okay. I'm o… going to be okay. So will you." Patryck nodded, squeezing his eyes shut. There was so much he wanted to say, to talk about, but he couldn't. It hurt to try, and he didn't want Paul to know just how much he was hurting. 

Paul rubbed soothing circles into Pat's back. Softly, he began to hum. Pat didn't want to fall asleep, wanted to spend as much time as he could wrapped up in Paul's arms. Even so, the soft lullaby lulled him to sleep.

__________

It was bound to happen, Tord didn't know how he managed to trick himself into believing otherwise for so long.

It all happened so fast tord could barely wrap his head around it. All his time here, all the pain he went through, it meant nothing. His attempts to protect his army were in vain. It was only a matter of time until the Black army found his bases. 

The sickos weren't satisfied in just purging them, no, they wanted to rub it in. Make sure Tord was thoroughly scared. He wasn't very surprised when two no named soldiers stormed into his tiny room and dragged his lovers away. He remembered the feeling of toms warm embraced being ripped away, his fingers bruising Tord's soft flesh as he tried to stay.

Paul, Patryck, tom, edd, and matt. All of them bound, with tord on the wrong side of the glass. He couldn't look away, couldn't hide from the gruesome sight of everyone he loved being murdered before his very eyes for what must've been hours. They forced him to watch as the light faded from their eyes. 

That was so long ago, Tord didn't like to dwell much on those thoughts.

Only then did they move on to his poor unsuspecting soldiers. Tord had lost the ability to cry, all his tears running dry. 

He was thrown into a cell, cuffed to a wall with sharp iron cuffs that dug into his flesh. He fought against them, tugging and pulling until his arms were nothing but red.

The only person who ever visited him was Tyler, and Tord cherished each and every visit. He fell in love with the poofy haired male who was oh so sweet with him in his lowest times. After all, it was Tyler who got him out of that horrid place and scored him a spot in the black army next to him. How could he not fall for him?

The British boy cared for him in ways his past lovers never could. He felt complete again.

Tord and Tyler walked by Black Leader's side, the two of them sending small smiles each other's way. Today they were to give a speech to the whole army— war plans for that month, the status of the enemy, usual stuff.

The balcony they stood on overlooked the training room. It was simple, stone all the way around with no gaps or spaces in the front. The only parts of them visible were the chest up. Tord was thankful for this, as he was fidgeting. 

"Good morning soldiers, I'm pleased to say that the war report has improved from last month. All the pieces are finally falling into place, and things are looking up again."

Tord was distracted, something touching his ankle. He looked down but saw nothing. The damn base had mice, disgusting. Whatever, that wasn't important. He focused back on Black Leader's voice.

"The blue Army hasn't moved from their post, and we've been led to believe there's a possibility of a spy among us. I trust you and your loyalty, but I find out this accusation is true, the spy will be taken care of."

The air around him grew cold, and he shivered. He had to stay still, black leader would be so disappointed in him if he messed up his meeting. He spared a quick glance at his boyfriend, but he didn't seem to notice the temperature drop. 

Another few moments of the freezing air, tord doing his best to ignore it. Something touched him again but he didn't look, there was nothing there.

Suddenly, something grabbed his leg with enough force to make him stumble. Looking down he saw a person on all fours, body hidden from the other soldiers by the balcony. It was wearing a Red Army uniform, hands boney, and white as paper. Its face…

Its face flickered between almost every face he ever knew. Patryck, Paul, Edd, Matt, Tom, Jon, Tay, Kai, Pay, Tim, Yuu, Yanov— it's cold, constantly changing eyes staring into his soul.

This thing… it must've been one of his old projects. One that could copy the appearance of anyone. But how had it gotten here? Did it come all this way for him? 

Tyler didn't seem to notice, facing straight forward. Tord let his nails dig into his palm, forcing himself to face the crowd. He didn't want them to know something was wrong, but the thing tightened its grip to the point it was painful.

"They're all dead." Its voice was a mass of every voice it's face portrayed, all talking at once. So loud to his ears yet quiet enough that no one else heard. Its voice was rough and gravelly as if it had been screaming for hours on end. It had an accent, scratch that, it had many accents. It was impossible to pick out one from the mess.

Each time a face would appear, that particular voice would stand out from the rest. 

"What are you talking about?" He asked, voice trembling. It smiled wide.

It changed to Paul's face, silver eyes not unlike his own gleaming. "Paul, Patryck" it changed to that face, a voice that once soothed him now sending shivers down his spine. "Edd, matt, tom too. And..." with each change, Tord could feel his gut knot. He stared down at the soldiers, praying someone would see the thing and save him. They had all started to talk among themselves, Black leader conversing with Tyler and all of them completely ignoring tord. He could feel his hope dwindling,

He never brought a weapon with him.

"You." It breathed harshly, almost like the action took all its energy to complete. Tord slowly began to back away, but its hand flew to his ankle with a grip strong enough to shatter the bone. It let go, It's other hand grabbing his other ankle and tugging him into the air as it stood to its staggering height of 7 feet. It raised Its arm heigh so they were face to face as he dangled upside down, the grin leaving his face for a moment

Finally, it stopped shifting, landing on the face of his best friend and the one who never doubted him. Edd's face smiled, squeezing his ankle tight.

"You let us all die…" it hissed in a soft voice, Edd's voice, standing out over the rest. Tord could feel all the blood rushing to his head. The thing held him out over the edge of the balcony, face shifting once again to the face of the man he feared.

Tyler.

"We'll meet soon my love." It crackled. "Bye now!" 

Tord was dropped headfirst to the concrete floor 20 feet below.

Tord shot up in bed, gasping as his hands flew up to grip his neck. His wide eyes frantically scanned the room, his mind still scrambled from the jarring nightmare. His hands moved from his neck to hair, fingers tangling themselves in his messy caramel hair and tugging harshly. Where was he? He couldn't tell. Couldn't see. He could feel the harsh rub of iron cuffs rubbing against his flesh, digging deep, ugly groves forming. He sobbed brokenly as he fell deeper into the torturous panic attack. 

"Tord!" What…? Who? A hand on his shoulder startling him violently. "Hey… look at me, okay?" There it was again… Tom? Peaking out, Tord was met with the comforting sight of his boyfriend hovering above him. Well, the hovering part, not so much but just seeing him made him feel better. Tom offered him a smile.

"Shh, it's alright, see?" Matt said, carefully sitting next to him. Tord nodded weakly. He sure didn't feel alright. He was petrified!

"What's 5 things you can see?" Tom asked, and Tord was slightly shocked by the question. He actually had to take a moment to look around before answering.

"You, Matt, um.." His eyes moved quickly until he found his other lover, sitting on his right side. "Edd, the walls, and,… the bed?" Tom nodded comfortingly.

"What's 4 things you can feel?" 

"You, Matt's hoodie, the covers, and my tears…" 

"What's 3 things you can hear?" 

"Your voice, people walking outside our room, and the air from the vents." 

"What's 2 things you can smell?" 

"Um… Matt's lavender shampoo from his hoodie, and… blood…" 

"One thing you can taste?" 

"Blood, from biting my tongue." 

"Good job." Tom soothed, gently taking Tord's hand in his own and pressing a gentle kiss to it. Tord actually felt a small bit better, more grounded. 

"Thank you…" he whispered, letting his eyes slip close. 

"Of course," This was Edd, on his right. Another hand, this time resting on his knee. "Do you wanna talk about it?" 

"It's always the same. They took you… they took you all, forced me to watch them kill you all. It didn't matter that I kept quiet, they found them anyway. They all died, and I had to watch. It's not fair! They locked me up, and-and… that... " Tord could feel panic creeping up his spine, hands quickly moving to cover his mouth. 

"If you don't wanna talk about it, you don't have to," Matt said quickly before Tord had time to spiral. He nodded, leaning against matt. "It's just a nightmare, we're right here."

He took a deep breath before continuing. "I was stuck there for months. That soldier… he was the only one who came to see me, and I ended up getting with him and joining the Black army. This thing attacked me during an army speech and threw me over the railing, and I died." They continued to soothe him, the physical contact calming him down. "The creepy thing is… it always uses Edd's voice when it drops me…" 

"My voice?!" Edd gasped, staring in disbelief. "What the… Tord, you know I'd never hurt you, right?" Tord hummed, nodding tiredly. "I love you,"

"We all do," 

Edd and Tom hummed in agreement, joining the improv cuddle pile. Tord could help but giggle quietly as they struggled above him to get comfortable. 

"Edd, your foot is in my damn stomach!"

"Well, my foot was there first,"

"Guys, I'm being crushed!" 

"Suffer,"

"Move your damn foot!" 

"Move your stomach!" 

Tord couldn't help the laughter that bubbled past his lips. The fighting stopped as they all stared at him for a moment. "You guys are crazy." 

"That's a lot coming from you, commie." Tom snickered, shoving Edd's feet off of him. The nickname held no malice. 

"Guys!" Matt whined from the bottom of the pile. Tord stuck out his tongue playfully. "Why am I always at the bottom."

"Cause toms too short"—hey!— "tord's in pain and I'm too weak."

"You're just as short edd!" 

"Shhhhhh"

Tord pressed a kiss to Matt's cheek, shoulders shaking with laughter. "Sorry love." Matt shook his head, giggling.

"Tord, wanna switch spots? Toms being a baby."

"Am not!"

"Nah, I'm comfy here." Edd gasped dramatically, placing a hand on his chest. They all burst into laughter, and for a moment it was so easy to forget the situation they were in. 

__________

Two pairs of eyes stared up at the man that trapped them there, two emerald green and two a golden yellow. The owners huddled together, tiny arms wrapped around the other. The scary man in black paced in front of them, the soft click of his boots against the floor filing the air as he spoke many words. Words the two never heard before.

Green eyes looked over to the scared blue across the room. The little girl who had the emerald green eyes frowned, lip trembling as she tried not to cry. The boy she held onto shut his gold eyes tightly, burying his head in her chest. The man suddenly turned to them, he was talking to them. No… he was talking to her. 

"Do you love your mommy?" She nodded quickly. She loved her mommy so much, she didn't want her to get hurt. The man grinned cruelly. "That's right, and your mommy loves you so much. But your mommy isn't listening to me, and do you know what happens when she doesn't listen?" She shook her head. 

The man suddenly grabbed her arm, roughly tugging her away from the little boy and into the air. She screamed, the grip on her arm painfully tight. "No! Please don't hurt her!" The boy cried, reaching out to the only person he had in this tiny holding cell. 

"If your mommy doesn't listen to me, you'll pay the prices." He growled, throwing her against the hard stone wall. She let out a yelp, falling to the ground. Pain radiated through her weak body, tears pushing past and soaking into her dirty blue sweater.

"Emily!" The boy whined, crawling over to her. The scary man grabbed him by the hair, tugging to keep them apart. 

"Don't think that doesn't go for you too." He snapped, forcing him to face his father. The pale man had a wide grin on his face, but Emily could tell he was angry. So angry and scary, she just wanted to go back home.

"Stop! Stop it, please." The boy's father begged, fear flashing in his eyes. The mean man in black tugged harder, throwing him into Emily's arms. 

"You two should listen if you don't want your children in harm's way." Two more big mean soldiers stormed in, taking her mommy and the boy's father away. The man turned to them one last time, smiling sympathetically. Then they were left all alone. 

"Are you okay, em?" The boy asked, holding her arm and rolling up her sleeve to look it at it in the dim light. It was hard to see any bruises against her fair skin. She nodded, sniffling, and rubbing away her tears.

"I'm tough, that big mean was nothin' to me," she said, puffing out her chest. The boy's eyes seemed to light up in wonder, and he nodded excitedly. Using the wall, the girl walked over to their blanket, which had been thrown quite aways, and dragged it back over.

"You're the coolest em!" She smiled at that, sitting back down and covering them both with the blanket to try and keep warm.

"Thanks, sharpie, you're cool too!" Nodding, they huddled closer together in the tiny cold cell. Emily may be young in an unfamiliar place, but she trusted her mommy and knew they'd go back home and everything would go back to normal.

___________

_1 month from day 1_

Edd slipped out from his apartment building. It was early morning and his boyfriends had yet to wake, so he didn't have to worry about their questions. This was the perfect time for him to go out and look at something he'd been meaning to. 

He tugged on his hood, shivering in the chilly April air. Over the past month, he just couldn't get tord off his mind. He kept thinking about that day… how weird he'd been acting all the time. Now he was missing… Edd found himself walking up the hill where Tord crashed. Why hadn't they come up here and checked for him?? They could've saved him. Edd could've saved him…

He sighed, pushing the thoughts away. Scrap metal littered the area, the head sitting near the cliff edge. Edd walked closer, fingers ghosting over pieces of metal. Did Pau and Pat even know? That thought caused him to freeze, a chill running up his spine. Did they ever know their son was a mad genius with a giant mecha? Did they know their son's own lover shot him out of the sky? Did they know…

Green eyes stared shakily at the head, right where tord was that day.

Did they know that Tord could be right there, desperately waiting for the help that never came? Crying and wishing someone would pull him from his fiery tomb?

Did Tord ever make it out of that cockpit? His parents searching for him when he could be right there.

Dead.

Edd swallowed hard. He prayed and prayed that when he went over there, he wouldn't find a body. The thought alone made it difficult to move his feet. He urged himself forward. What kind of person would he be to walk away and possibly leave his body? 

Now he stood only a few feet away from the head, hands clenching tightly. 'There's nothing there, he's probably off treating his wounds… or at a mortuary…' he thought, avoiding shards of glass hidden in the grass. 

Taking a deep breath, Edd quickly stepped in front of it. Nothing. 

Well, no body at the very least. There was dried blood caking the burnt seating, a single pale blue harpoon stabbed into what must've been the control panel. 

Edd let out a breath he didn't even know he'd been holding, clenching his chest. Finding nothing else of value, and frankly feeling extremely uncomfortable, he turned to leave. He nearly jumped out of his skin when his phone rang. 

It was just tom… he sighed, answering while once again clutching his chest.

"Yeah?"

"Edd, it's five in the morning, where did you go?? Nothing's open, it's Sunday." Tom said, clearly tired. 

"Why are you up and how do you even know?" Edd shot back, blatantly ignoring the question.

"I never went to sleep, insomnia." Oh yeah… 

"And you were in my flat, why?"

"I was bored, Matt won't get up for another few hours so I came to you. Where are you?" Edd bit his lip… What was he supposed to say? "Oh hey our maybe dead boyfriend's parents think he's missing but I got worried we actually killed him so I went to the maybe murder scene"? No! He sighed.

"I'm… on the hill where he landed." 

"What?! What are you doing up there?" 

"I couldn't stop thinking about him."

"For all you know he could've been up there getting parts or something! What if he tried to hurt you?" 

"Tord wouldn't do that."

"He tried to kill us. He just might!" 

"Do you think pau and pat ever knew what happened to him?" He blurted. Tom got very quiet after that. 

"What?"

"Did they ever know about the incident? Do they even know Tord might be dead?" 

"I…" Tom mumbled something he couldn't quite make out, but Edd could tell he was distressed by the thought. 

"I'm sorry for bringing it up, I just… couldn't get the thought out of my head." 

"You're up there, and you didn't see him, right? He's not…" Tom's breathing quickened, he was panicking.

"No, he's not here. He got out of the crash. But the thing is… surely he was hurt… Why didn't he go to his parents…?" 

"Maybe he couldn't," Tom responded, calming down slightly.

"Do you really think he died?"

"Did the harpoon hit him?"

"Didn't hit him straight on, it's still embedded in the controls."

"Then no, he got out. He must've gone to his army." 

"And didn't even call?" 

Edd was suddenly shoved to the ground harshly, letting out a yelp. His phone hit the soft grass, Tom's muffled voice coming from the speakers. He groaned, glass piercing his skin. 

"What do you think you're doing?" Came a clearly irritated voice from above him. Edd turned around, supporting himself on his arms. The man above him wore a black hoodie with the hood up, the slightest of brown hair poking out. 

"I… was talking to my boyfriend." He said slowly, a little frightened by the man. Was he a cop? Was edd in trouble for being here?

"Don't play me for a fool, I've been listening to you babble for the past 5 minutes. You have no business being anywhere near this hill."

"Why not? I don't see any police tape or anything! I was just worried about… a friend… I wanted to come up here and poke around." The man chuckled.

"Friend? You knew the person who crashed here?" 

"Yes… did you?"

"I know of him after the fact,"

"Do you know what might've happened to him!?" 

"It doesn't concern you." 

"This… this man was very close to me, I have a right to know what happened to him!" Edd snapped, rising up to face him. The man scowled.

"Watch your tongue if you want to keep it." He took a threatening step towards edd. "If you're as close to this man as you say you are, you'll shut up, go home, and stop putting your nose in places it doesn't belong. 

"I know something, you… you and him going missing are connected, aren't they!?" Edd knew he was on thin fucking ice taunting this clearly dangerous man. The man didn't respond, instead shoving him again. He groaned as his back hit the dirt.

The man walked right past him, picking up his phone. TOM! Shit, Edd completely forgot Tom was still on the phone. He picked up the device, glancing at the caller ID before a grin stretched across his face. Holding up the phone for Edd to see, he calmly hit the speaker button.

"I swear to Jehovah I'm gonna come up there and find you myself, answer me! What happened?" Tom screamed, sounding like he was on the verge of tears. The grin grew wider as the man began to talk in a voice much calmer than before.

"I'm sorry, Edd is unable to come to the phone right now. Chances are, he'll be unable to come home."

"Wait what-" He hit the end call button, dropping the phone. Edd suddenly felt ten times worse.

"Now…"

"How do you... How do you know my name?" Edd whimpered, backing up. The man chuckled, eyes gleaming. 

"That's a secret. Now… you know a lot, and if you aren't willing to keep your mouth shut, I'm quite positive you'll serve to be useful some other way." 

  
  
  
  



	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oop-  
> BTW I added a flash back to last chapter to make sure to go read

Tord hung his head, blood loss making him oh so dizzy. Numerous cuts and bruises littered his body. He felt so tired, tired of all the pain. How long had it been since he'd last been tortured? He couldn't tell, he never had a sense of time in this awful place. It felt like forever ago, but surely it wasn't that long. The footsteps of Pay and Tim echoed in his ears. Too loud, why was everything so loud? The shuffle of feet, the clatter of metal tools, the slight sizzle as a barrel of hot coal was lit. He could hear it all. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the outside world.

He gasped as a sharp pain made itself known in his neck, shortly followed by an energy boost. Damnit, why couldn't they let him sleep? Sighing, his eyes peered at Pay, whose entire face was covered by a mask. Tord had to wonder what he was hiding under there. Pay didn't linger, walking away once more. 

With nothing else to do and no more energy to fight, tord stared dully at the mirror on the other wall. In fact, the whole wall was a mirror. This had him questioning what the original purpose of the room was. What was this building originally? Or was it built specifically for this? Why would a room need a whole wall to be a mirror — the sudden realization had tord casting his eyes to the ground. That wasn't just a mirror, it was a one-way mirror. Why else would they have it?

"Are you still willing to be so stubborn?" Tim asked, stepping in front of him. Tord narrowed his eyes. 

"Fuck you." He snarled. Tim clicked his tongue, stepping out of his line of sight once again. If these assholes think, for even a moment, that he would betray his army like that they were sorely wrong. 

Tim stood next to him, eyebrows pitched together in worry. It was hard to tell with the mask covering the lower half of his face. It was only then tord noticed the branding iron in his hand, the end burning a bright red. "That's fine then." 

Tord's eyes widened in fear, his heart skipping a beat at the sight. No no no, he couldn't be branded. His breathing quickened. He tried to back up, but the chains holding him limited his movement. "Get away, get away from me!" He whimpered fearfully.

"You did this to yourself," Tim said blankly, aggressively pressing the burning metal into his shoulder with a hiss. A scream was ripped from his throat. He slumped forward, his flesh burning.

"Fuck!" Tord choked out, Tim stepped back, pulling the iron away. "Fuck fuck fuck!" He babbled, curling in on himself. Tim said something to pay, but Tord couldn't hear him over his own shrieks.

Fingers digging into the flesh of his arms, he shakily stared in the direction of the people who hurt him. Why? Why did he have to go through this? What did he ever do to deserve this? Sure, he fucked up sometimes and did bad things of panic, but he was still young. He wasn't perfect, no one was. 

His head was swimming, but he feared falling asleep. The threat Kai posed last time still echoing in his mind. If he was too weak, his boyfriends would take his place. He refused to let them get hurt. But wasn't he hurting them already? Letting them watch someone they cared about being tortured. Pay crouched down in front of him, eyes gleaming from underneath the white mask. 

"This is your last chance." He said calmly, a syringe filled with a luminescence pink liquid. Tord tried to growl, but all that came out was a broken whimper. 

"Do... Do whatever you want," tord whined, glaring at him with glossy eyes. Pay huffed quietly, pricking him with the needle and pushing the mystery liquid into his bloodstream. For a moment nothing happened, and Tord was confused. But that was only for a moment. Instantly pain shot through him, paralyzing him. Tord let out an ear-piercing shriek, hands flying to his hair and tugging harshly. Tears blurred his vision, eyes rolling back in utter agony.

It was like his entire nervous system was set ablaze. It hurt, everything hurt. His vision grew fuzzy as he tried to breathe. Even that seemed too difficult now. His thoughts were muddy, the only thing going through his mind begging for it to stop. He could barely even form a single sentence. 

'Please, stop it, stop it stop it. I'm sorry sorry so sorry. It hurts. Everything hurt, hurt so bad, make it stop, please please.' He clawed at his throat. It hurt to breathe, it hurt to think. Coughing, blood splattered against the stone floor, clinging to his skin. He flinched, sensory overload. He wanted it to end, he'd do _anything_ for it to end.

"What did…?" Pay was quiet, standing a bit farther than he was before. "What did you do to me??" No response. Gagging on his blood, Tord tried desperately to focus on anything other than the pain. It was impossible though. Squeezing his eyes shut tight, begging for the sweet release of sleep. 

Cool tears felt like heaven against his burning skin. "Sorry, sorry please I'm sorry." He babbled brokenly, cognitive ability dissipating. He couldn't think properly. Tim lifted his head to face him, holding a different syringe, this one with a clear liquid. He shook his head quickly, fear flooding his system.

"No no no no, please no," Tord begged, trying to back up. He couldn't take any more. Already he felt like he was going to die, he couldn't do this anymore. Tim placed a hand on his shoulder, tord sobbing out at the contact. "Please please please."

"Shh, shh I'm not gonna hurt you anymore. I'm gonna put you to sleep. It's gonna stop you from feeling the pain." Tim soothed, quiet enough that anyone that may have been on the other side of the glass couldn't hear him. Tord finally stopped struggling, leaning forward instead. God please, anything to stop the pain. 

"Please, please." He begged, but for different reasons now. He needed to sleep, sleep away the day. Sleep his whole life away should it need to be the case. He'd do anything to stop the pain, and he meant anything. Tim stared down with sad eyes, pressing the soothing needle into the soft flesh of his neck. He sobbed brokenly, both out of pain and relief that he'd be free from this mind-numbing pain. 

His mind grew fuzzy, stars dancing behind his eyelids. He could feel his body grow numb, pain ebbing away. Slumping over, tord wished to never deal with such agony ever again. Finally, Tord slipped from consciousness.

  
  


______________

Tord jolted awake, choking on his own spit and blood that pooled in his mouth. His head pulsed in discomfort. Thoughts raced in his mind, such disgusting and hurtful thoughts made his head and heart hurt. No no no! His eyes frantically scanned the room the moment he realized that he wasn't on that soft bed with the warmth of his lovers. 

No, he was on the cold stone floor, alone. His wrists and ankles were shackled, the chain connecting him to the wall was not long enough at all. His nightmare… it was coming true. Were they all dead? Were they all suffering at this very moment? 

"My my, Mr. Larsøn, You always seemed much more put together than now." Came a soft British voice. His head shot up, on a swivel to find the source. His eyes widened as the man himself stood tall across the room. He had a mop of curly ginger hair, heterochromia eyes, the left grey, and the right green. He had fair skin, a mess of lighter freckles splattered across his face. 

"You…."

"Do you know how long you've been here? 5 months, that's quite some time to remain idle." The man hummed, strutting over with the confidence only he could have. "It's almost admirable, really. You keep quiet for 5 months to protect your soldiers. That's the kind of loyalty any army would dream of from their leader."

"So why? Why are you doing this to me?" 

"Because you're in the way of our plans!" 

"We've never done anything intentionally wrong though. I wanted to better this country, yet I have a number above my name."

"You're naive and young. Your stupid and rash decisions are ruining our plans. We should snuff you out now while you're relatively small. Sometimes, you need to understand that this game is at a difficulty not meant for you." 

"I'd rather die than let you take all those innocent lives." 

"Yet you tried to take the lives of your 'boyfriends', and that was perfectly acceptable." He made air quotes when saying boyfriends before rolling his eyes. Tord stumbled over his words, shocked at the actuation. 

"I wasn't thinking, I panicked." 

"You're an inexperienced player, and I think it's time you quit." 

"N-no, I just…" Tord couldn't hide his god awful sobs, covering his face. "I was doing so well, I was actually making a difference."

"Not enough sadly. Do not fret, no one will notice if one little army suddenly stops." His smile was manic, leaning down enough to tug lightly at the chain. "Now, you've held up nicely for the time being and I think a change in scenery will fix that."

"Where… Are they?" 

"In their own rooms, now, we've been very nice as to not hurt your boyfriends, but it seems that we have no choice." 

"No choice? What the hell do you mean no choice? Kill me, I don't care, just please leave them alone. They have nothing to do with this." Tord growled, tears blurring his vision. He paused, staring at him in interest.

"You'd really die if that meant we'd set them free?"

"I- yes! I would. It wouldn't matter to me, as long as they're safe." Tord pressed. The man just stared quietly, as if he was actually considering letting Tord's boyfriends and father's go. But instead, the man chuckled softly, shaking his head.

"Where's the fun in that? Plus, we haven't even gotten the information we need." He smiled, eyes almost glowing. 

"So why? Why would you hurt them? They didn't even know I was in an army."

"But your right-hand men do, surely." Tord shook his head, fear in his silver eyes. 

"Please no, please please don't hurt them."

"Ah, a little late for that. After all, Patryck nearly lost his life just a few months ago."

"W-what?" tord felt it was now hard to breathe. Almost died? A few months?

"Now, i really must get going."

"Wait, you're just going to leave me alone?"

"I think giving you the comfort of your boyfriends was a mistake." He said, frowning. "It's much easier to break you when you have no one to lean on." 

"No, no no no, please I don't wanna be alone." He begged, tugged on the chains. The cuffs digging into his wrists, bruises likely forming. "Please." 

Opening the heavy door, the man spared one last look over his shoulder before the door slammed shut.

He was alone.

_Tord was all alone._

* * *

1 month from day 1

  
  


"Patryck, we've been out here for hours, let's let's just go back to the base." Paul sighed, rubbing his tired eyes. He was sore and falling asleep on his feet and Patryck still insisted on looking for tord.

"Paul we-"

"No! We need to go back, we need to leave!" 

"Leave? Why would you suggest such a thing?" Pat gasped, trying to keep his voice down to not attract passersby. Though seeing as the sun was just rising, he doubted anyone would pass. It was a Sunday after all. 

"Patryck we've been searching for 2 months!" Paul sounded close to breaking down, voice strained. "I know you're worried, I know this is the best we could've done up until this point, but you need to stop being so ignorant!"

"I'm being ignorant!?"

"When will it skin in!?" Paul snapped, hot tears rolling down his cheeks. "He isn't here anymore, god knows where he could be. We're wasting time searching the same places over and over for months! We need to leave…"

"We will, at the end of the month."

"The month?"

"I want to do one more, thorough, sweep of the area. I don't want to find out he was here and we left him." Patrick sighed, brushing away Paul's tears. Pulling back, the shorter man roughly dried his face, trying to ignore his small slip up. He was stronger than this, he knew he was.

"Hey! Paul, pat!" They turned to see Tom running towards them. He leaned heavily against the wall they were standing next to once he got close enough. "I-" he panted, out of breath. "I need your help!"

"What's wrong?" Patryck asked, worry evident on his face. 

"It's edd. He went up to that hill," he pointed to the hill where Tord crashed. "And someone attacked him. They said he might not come home. I was so panicked that I forgot to grab the car."

Paul and Pat exchanged frightened looks. "Get in" Paul pointed to their red car parked not too far away. They all jumped in, and Paul was very glad the streets were mostly empty. 

"what was he doing up there?" Patrick asked, grabbing their guns while keeping them out of Tom's sight. The dark-eyed boy bit his lip nervously. He was hiding something. "Tom, why was Edd up there?

"He was looking for tord." Tom blurted but quickly covered his mouth.

"Damn it!" Paul cursed, pressing down on the gas. 

"Do you know about the-" 

"Yes, we know what happened. We saw everything." Patryck sighed, choosing to stare out the window.

"I'm so sorry."

"You did what you had to do." Paul hummed, but he felt his heart skip a beat when he saw someone holding a gun to edds head. He broke hard, hand flying to the gun in their glove box.

"Stay here," Patryck said seriously. They quickly got out and approached. "Get away from him!" 

The man turned, surprised. Paul knew that face… but from where?

"Ah, you two. Want your little lab mouse back?" He sneered, gesturing to edd.

"I don't know what you're talking about but if you know what's good for you, you'll get away from him."

"But don't you know pat?" He flinched, glancing at Paul fearfully. The man pushed his hood down, that grin growing ever wider. He choked on his own breath. "Tick-tock, your time is not unlimited."

"You!" 

"So, you're memory isn't shit"

"Where is he."

"Not important. Why don't we make an agreement? You take this runt and keep him from snooping, and I won't tell Black, leader, about this." Paul glanced at pat, then at Edd's terrified face. "Do we have a deal?"

"What if we say no?" 

"You die, and the army gets a new pet." 

"Fine!" He chuckled, shoving Edd forward. Patryck rushed to catch him before he fell, clutching his arm and basically dragging him. He could see the fear in his eyes. Go figure, they were usually very friendly and nice.

"Now run along, and let us never meet again." He sighed, shoving his hand in his pocket while tugging on his hood. They very quickly made it to the car.

"Edd, what were you thinking?" Patryck sighed, hiding his gun.

"I… I just wanted to check!" He whispered, snuggling into Tom's chest, Tom clutching him tightly. "Do you know him?"

"We've had a few run-ins…" Patryck sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He was so tired and pau knew pat felt it too.

"Paul, wir müssen sie zur Basis bringen. Sie wissen es." (Paul, we have to get them to the base. You know it)

"Vi har en aftale, og det er ikke en god ide at bringe dem der, mens vi er så uorganiserede" (We have an agreement, and it's not a good idea to bring them there while we're so disorganized.)

"Warum sollten wir ihm vertrauen? Er hat unseren Sohn mitgenommen!" (Why should we trust him? He took our son with him)

"Is… everything okay?" Edd asked, startling them both.

"Yeah, it's fine." Paul pulled up to their apartment building.

"Please stay safe." Pat sighed, rubbing his eyes.

The two nodded, leaving and entering their apartment. Yawning, he turned with pleading eyes to his love. "Can you take over?" Pat nodded and they switched, patryck driving with Paul dozing off in the passenger seat. "Paul, how can we trust him?" Patryck asked, causing pau to jump. He sleepily looked over.

"We have to. We can't be at the base all the time to keep them safe."

"Safe? You actually think our soldiers would try and kill them?" Pat gasped.

"Some of our less than loyal soldiers might. What if our loyal soldiers decide to kill the man who hurt their leader?" Pat went quiet, his grip tightened on the steering wheel. 

"Paul, I'm scared."

"I know everything is terrifying right now."

"They're like my kids too, I can't stand the idea of them getting hurt," Patryck mumbled, Pau, cradling his head.

"Let's go back to the base."

"Paul-"

"We're both tired beyond belief and I can't stand to keep fighting like this. We need to rest."

"I'm sorry, you're right." Paul spared a glance at his husband. Sighing, he placed a hand on his thigh comfortingly. 

"It 's going to be alright." His eyes seemed to close on their own accord. "It's gonna be…"

"I know, we're going to make sure of it." Patryck soothed, his calm voice lulling his tired mind to sleep.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't remember of i've told y'all, but I'm accepting oc's to use in the next chapter. I need in the next couple days though. uwu


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Straight up forgot to put it up here. Check out the wattpad version for art

Tom woke with a headache. The ground underneath him was hard, and he shivered as he only then realized that he was alone without the warmth of his boyfriends. Opening his eyes, Tom saw blank walls and a hard floor. Sitting up, he noticed shackles around his wrists. He gasped, tugging while wondering what was happening.

Why was he here? It wasn't like he knew anything. Where were Edd and Matt? Was tord okay? Was he alive? Thoughts of tord being tortured filled his mind, his god awful screams ringing in his ears. He bit his lip, trying to push the thoughts from his mind with increasing feelings of guilt. He shouldn't be ignoring thoughts of his own boyfriends, especially when his boyfriend needed him like this.

Looking down, he noticed the dark blue hoodie hanging off his thin from. When did he get this? How did he get this? He remembered vividly how it was destroyed, tords blood soaking into it as nail after nail after nail were pulled from his flesh -

He was pulled from his thoughts as a door was opened, Tim entering with a small metal cart. Tom glared at him with disgust. Him…. He hurt tord, putting him through all that pain. "What do you want from me? If you're here to ask about Tords army base, i don't know. I don't even know what's happening."

"I know."

"What do you want from me? Are you here to hurt me?" Tom spat, subconsciously shifting away. Tim sighed, pushing the cart towards him.

"I'm not here to hurt you, I'm not here to ask questions about the army." He pulled out a plate from the cart, setting it on the floor in front of Tom and sitting just a few feet away. "I just want to talk. I'll answer any questions you have as honestly as i can." Tom paused, looking from his brother to the meal. Finally, he grabbed the food.

He was so hungry, he couldn't even tell you the last time he ate. It was quite as tom ate, quickly at first, but chose to slow down so he could properly saver and enjoy this moment. Who knows when he'll ever get this again. Finishing, he grabbed the red can of cola, thoughts of head filling his head as he stared at Tim.

"Where are they?" He asked, opening the can with a soft his. The sugary sweet smell of the soda had his mouth-watering. God, he never was a soda person, and when he was he stuck to sprite and ginger-ale, but after who knows how long of water and stale sandwiches this cola was like heaven. When they got out of this Edd was gonna have a run for his cola.

"They're in their own cells. Black leader plans to have them tortured as a way to make tord talk. He says that if he won't listen to us when we hurt him… he'll listen to you."

"No, I'm not doing it! I don't care what you hold over my head, I'm not hurting him, you can't make me."

"Look, Tom, there are two scenarios if Tord continues to stay quiet. Scenario 1, and the more likely, Black leader will make you all witness his death, o-or scenario 2, he'll kill you all and… and Tord will watch. So you can either try and get him to talk and hurt him, or run the risk of his life… I know we never talked a lot, but you're still my bro, and I don't want you to get hurt… not any more…"

Tom could tell he was staring at his neck, memories of his rage-induced meltdown… he had thought Tim killed Tord. He was so still after all that pain. He gripped his hair as screams rang out in his mind. "Why" he whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut. "Why are you here? Why are you doing any of this?"

"I was kidnapped." It was simple, 3 words. Yet those words sent a flood of emotions coursing through Tom. "They have my family stored away in this base. This is the only way to ensure that they stay alive. They're not bluffing tom," Tim stared at him with sad eyes. "They're so cruel as to hurt a child to manipulate people."

"I'm... So sorry." Tom said, staring down at the cola in his hands. Would he be able to live after watching tord die? It would be so easy… Just… talk to him and if that doesn't work… they didn't have to hurt him that badly. "I'll... I'll do it."

"It may not seem like it, but you're making the right choice," Tim said, standing. Tom's eyes widened as he realized that he'd be alone in this room. No one to talk to, no way to tell the time, nothing.

"Wait, I'm gonna be all alone?" Tim nodded, taking the plate and putting it back in the cart. "I have one more question. How long have I been here? It's… I can't tell the time, my sleep pattern is all sort of wack."

"2 months." He gapped, unable to process it. Tim began to walk away, and Tom felt his anxiety spike.

"Will you… come back?" He asked quickly. Tim paused for a second.

"Soon, now you should probably drink that soda." Tim looked at him one last time before leaving. Tom sighed, staring down at the soda for a long moment before taking a sip. This was going to be so much harder than he thought. He didn't know how much of this he could take

__________

"Where's tord? What have you done with him?" Edd spat, anger laced in his words as he glowered at the black-haired girl before him. He didn't know much, but what he did know was that he was alone and cuffed to the wall, and Tord was somewhere probably being hurt without his comfort. Tay hummed softly, handing him a plate of food.

"Eat up, wouldn't want you to starve." Was all she said, clearly ignoring his question. Edd looked down at his food. He was hungry… arg, no! He couldn't eat, not until he knew that Tord was okay.

"Where is tord!"

"It doesn't matter to you, now does it?" She pointed out, leaning on the metal cart that held the food and other things. Edd growled, wanting so badly to kick her ass.

"It matters a lot to me. I want to know if my damn boyfriend is okay!"

"Yeah, yeah he's he alive and breathing. Eat your damn food." She rolled her eyes. Huffing, edd reluctantly took a bite, pleased to find I actually tasted really good! And to top it off, he was given a cola! The sugary sweet taste on his tongue gave him a sense of euphoria. How he missed his lovely cola.

"What's going to happen to tord?"

"What always happens, he'll be hurt. Black leader is growing impatience with him though, and I don't think Mr. Larsøn will make it out alive." She shrugged, grabbing the plate and putting it back in the cart.

"What does that mean? You're gonna kill him?"

"He's been given more than enough time and he still chooses to be stubborn." Tay pushed the cart towards the door, and only then realized that he would be all alone without matt or tom.

"Where are the others?"

"Always curious, huh? They're in their own cells. Now, I really must be on my way, bye-bye eddy!" The door slammed shut, making Edd's headache all the worse.

He whimpered, setting down the half-empty can. Everything felt so much more real. Tord was really gonna die, wasn't he? Edd felt bad the first time, how was he ever gonna recover from this? Swallowing hard, edd tried and failed to push the thoughts from his mind and tears dripped down his face. He pulled at the chains binding him, but it really did nothing. He really was stuck here, all alone.

______  
3 months from day 1

Patryck paced back and forth in the small meeting room, thoughts rushing through his head. They had to move quickly, who knows what the other army would do to tord. Hell, he didn't even know if they planned to stay in the country for long. 'Calm down patryck, you need to be serious and not panicky. It's what they expect of you.' Pat stopped, taking a deep breath. He moved to lay out a map across the large table. As he did so, Paul entered with about 15 soldiers.

"They've been informed of the situation," Paul said, moving to stand next to Patryck. The soldiers gathered around the table, all exchanging worried looks.

"We'll need to move quickly if we want to get him back unharmed," Patryck said calmly, grabbing a marker. He circled the closest surrounding areas.

"You'll be split into smaller groups so we can cover more ground," Paul said, and as he sorted that out Patryck zoned in on the map. There was no way they could both leave the base at the same time. One of them had to stay to supervise their soldiers. Shaking his head, he focused on the task at hand.

"Yuu, yanov, Emma, camel, and Nicole, check the west region, Cara, Kelly, Kate, Jake, and Lexy check the east. Markus, James, and Jess will handle the south, and Paul will assist sapphire and ruby in the north region, understand?"

"Yes sir!" They all saluted. One girl, ruby, raised her hand.

"Excuse me sir, but will the person who destroyed Red Leader's robot be killed for their actions?"

"No, he specifically put him on our no-kill list." Pat shook his head, feeling the beginnings of a headache coming on. "Now go get prepared, you'll be leaving first thing in the morning." They all shuffled out, leaving Paul and Patryck alone. Pat sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Do you think that tomorrow morning is too late? Should I have sent them out right away?"

"Tomorrow morning is just fine, we need to wait anyways." Paul pulled pat into his arms, standing on his toes so he could lean their foreheads together. "We need rest, our soldiers need to train and prepare. It'll be already." He whispered. Patryck buried his head in that softy messy hair, breathing in his scent and allowing his tension to ease away.

"I'm tired, let's go take a nap." Patryck hummed, looking back into the eyes of his lover. Paul nodded with a soft smile.

"Let's"


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning y'all

"Come on baby, don't be a tease." Tyler cooed, motioning for him to come closer. Paul crawled up to him, setting himself down on his lap. He ground down with a grin. "You look so good like this." He smiled. Paul was in a black, off the shoulder maid dress with pastel pink thigh-highs on. he wore a special black collar around his neck that allowed Tyler to keep him happy.

"Thank you, master," Paul mumbled, leaning in to kiss him. Tyler tangled his fingers in Paul's hair, pulling him impossibly closer. Paul allowed him to take control, letting his tongue explore his mouth. His hands slipped down, squeezing his thighs and picking at the lining on his stocking, allowing them to snap against his soft skin. He pulled back, biting his lip as his hand slid up his skirt. 

"What do you want, baby?"

"Touch me, please. Make me feel good." He mumbled, rocking his hips. Tyler chuckled at his eagerness, biting his shoulders softly. Paul gasped, and he lapped at it apologetically.

"Sorry dear, but you'll have to ask better than that. Now tell me, what do you want me to do to you?" He purred, nibbling on his ear and relishing in the full-body shutter he received. 

"I want you to fuck me, I want to be stuffed full of your cock till I can't take it anymore. I want you to pound me into the bed so hard I'll feel it for weeks, want you to tell me how much of a slut I am." Paul said slowly, pushing Tyler back onto the bed with a hungry look on his face. Who was Tyler to deny such a lovely request? He bucked up, pulling Paul down at the same time. His face flushed a beautiful shade of crimson, hot pink eyes fluttering shut. 

"Fuck, you really are Master's little cumslut, aren't you?" He smirked, pulling Paul down to smash their lips together. His hands moved to explore, and soon his mouth followed as he broke the kiss to suck more Hickey's on Paul's pale neck. The danish man groaned, gripping his crisp white overcoat.

Tyler sat up, moving Paul to sit on the bed. Paul stared up expectantly. "Stay right there, baby. Master's gonna make sure you'll never forget this night." Tyler chuckled. He moved over to a box full of fun things and pulled out a pair of handcuffs. He held them up for Paul to see, watching as excitement and fear flashes in his bright eyes. After grabbing something else from the box, he walked over and carefully fastened the cuffs over his delicate wrist. "Close your eyes, baby, I've got a surprise for you." 

Paul did as he was told, a giddy smile on this face. Taking a piece of fabric, he tied it around Paul's eyes, smirking to himself. He stepped back to take a look at him.

"Open your eyes." Paul smiled wider, body shivering in anticipation. "Do you like them?"

"I love them, Master" he purred, biting his lip. Tyler walked over, dipping Paul back into the pile of soft pillows, crawling over top of him. 

"Are you gonna be a good boy?"

"Only for you…" he mumbled as Tyler hooked the small chain connecting his wrist on the bedpost. Tyler let his fingers ghost across exposed skin. 

"Don't worry baby, I'm gonna fuck you up."

  
  


_________

When pat opened his eyes, he found himself on the hard stone ground in what looked like a cell all alone. He sat up, looking around in panic. His wrists were shackled, a chain connecting him to the wall. He tugged and pulled on them, but they didn't budge. Biting his lip, he tried to calm himself. It was fine… they probably just… He gripped his hair as horrible thoughts filled his head. 

The door suddenly opened and in walked his brother, pushing a silver cart. Patryck snarled when he saw him. "Where are they! What have you done?" Pat snapped, glaring at his brother.

"They're in their rooms, I didn't do anything. Calm down, will you?" Pay sighed, stepping closer and taking out a plate and bottled water from the cart. He set it down on the floor in front of him, face calm.

"Why should I? You're trapping us here!"

"Black leaders keeping you here, I have no say in this." Pay frowned, sitting down in front of him, leaning back against the cart. Pat frowned, but it was hard to come up with an argument when there was a plate of food right there and he was starving.

"Just gonna watch me eat?"

"I have to make sure you aren't starving yourself." Pat rolled his eyes, taking another bite of food. Man, he's never been so happy to eat eggs. A thought suddenly popped into his head and he stopped.

"How do I know this isn't poisoned?" 

"Why would it be poisoned? Did you not just hear me?" 

"I don't trust you! I have no reason to believe you wouldn't kill me the first chance you got."

"Pat, we may not be close but you're still my brother. I don't want to hurt you." He almost looked hurt by the accusation.

"You bashed my skull in with a wrench." Pat deadpanned.

"You brought that upon yourself. I didn't want to, but you really crossed a line." Fair enough, but he wasn't gonna give Pay this one.

"You still almost killed me."

"And I made sure you didn't die."

"So that makes up for everything? Am I supposed to forgive you?" 

"Look, I'll make it up to you, Kay? For now, let's just be civil. Have a conversation." 

"Make it up to me? How do you plan to do that?" Pat hummed, taking a sip of his water. The cool liquid soothed his dry throat.

"Surprise." 

"Bitch." Patryck said, but there wasn't any malice behind the word.

"I know." Pay shook his head, smiling softly. They sat in silence, Patryck finishing his plate and water. He stared at the ground, feelings of guilt filling him for reasons he didn't know.

"Are you doing this to get back at me?"

"What?"

"I mean, it was basically my fault you're childhood sucked. Why else would you join the army trying to kill my son?" 

"No pat. I'm not that salty." Pay sighed, feeling a little hurt pat would think like that.

"Then why are you here? Why are you doing this?" 

"They have someone I love very much. If I don't do this, they'll be killed." 

"Who?"

Pay pulled out a locket, showing him the picture inside. It was of a small boy with wild hair and gold eyes. "Sharpie, my son." 

"Oh." Pat felt even worse now. The boy looked so young, he didn't deserve this. As much as pat would like to deny it, he knew he'd do the same thing if tord was in danger. Pay sighed, tucking the trinket back in his shirt. He stood and grabbed the plate and bottle, dumping them back into the cart. "Are you leaving?"

"Can't stay here forever."

"Will you come back?" 

"Gotta feed you, duh." 

"Will they be okay?" Pay faltered, standing quietly for a few seconds before he sighed sadly.

"I don't know, I really wish I did but I don't." 

Sighing softly, Pat watched as Pay left. What was he gonna do? Was there anything he could? He stared down the stone floor as his tears began to fall. He prayed and prayed.

Please let this turn out alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm, wonder why Paul's eyes are pink
> 
> Check wattpad for art I guess
> 
> Feedback is appreciated


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take your chapter early

Matt frowned, sinking deeper into his hoodie to fight off the cold. He was trying not to cry, he really was, but he was so scared. He wasn't so strong, and he missed edd, and tom, and tord, and he just wanted them to be okay. He wanted to be okay. But he wasn't okay, and tord wasn't okay, and Matt knew he wasn't going to be alright. Tom wasn't okay either, Matt curled up on himself, memories filling his mind.

__________

Matt covered his ears to block out Tord's piercing screams. He thought last time was terrible, but this, this was so much worse. He had barely even acknowledged them, but pat had tearfully informed them that he couldn't see them. One-sided mirror. He was clinging to Edd, for once unable to be the comfort. He was scared, so terrified. Tom was sitting up at the glass, glaring harshly with tears streaming down his face. Blood pooled on the floor beneath Tord, his body shaking in pain. He could distantly hear Tom mumbled fearfully, but Matt refused to look. He didn't want to see it. He didn't want to know the pain tord was going through. 

That was until the screams died down a bit. Matt poked his head out, watching in mute horror as Tord seemed to zone out. He had this blissful look on his face as he stopped screaming, his eyes growing hazy, and he slumped forward.

He was quiet, and still, and when Tim got up and moved away, Matt saw a syringe in his hands. Was tord…? He shifted out of Edd's hold to get a better look. He was so still. Matt felt even more tears rushed to the surface as countless fearful screams drowned out the quiet. He covered his ears as they only grew in volume. Tom stared, a look of absolute rage bubbling within those endless black eyes.

"Why isn't he moving?" He mumbled, shifting to stand. Eyes were on him as he slowly transformed, hands becoming caws and a tail sprouting from his backside. "Why isn't he moving? Is he even breathing? He was just screaming in pain; even if he was asleep, why is he so fucking quiet!?" His voice grew louder and louder, tears spilling down his face.

"Don't worry, tom, surely he isn't dead," Edd said shakily, placing a hand on his shoulder. Even he seemed unsure; tears streamed down his face as well. 

"He killed him, he killed him, why isn't he moving, edd? He needs to move, or make some noise, or show me he's not dead, edd I need to know." Tom babbled helplessly, spiraling down and down. "He's dead, fuck fuck fuck he's dead he killed him!" Matt moved away, staring with wide eyes as Tom's skin took on a darker hue of purple. He turned to look back at Tord… Was he really dead? Today did feel different, like a grander ending of some sort. He turned to paul and pat, both looked terrified. 

"Tom, please, calm down." Edd croaked, fearful. 

"He killed him. He took away my love! I'm going to make him pay!" His enlarged claw slammed against the glass as his voice dropped lower into a roar. Matt covered his ears once more, moving back until he bumped into pat. 

A pink mist filled the room and swirled around them, choking them. Tom growled, swiping his tail angrily to clear the smoke away, protecting himself. Tom rammed into the glass again, loud enough to catch pay and Tims attention, hard enough to crack the glass. Matt could feel the pain in his throat; this dizziness that came from the light pink smoke. Tom smacked the glass again, and it cracked again. Tim turned to pay, mumbling something to him as another soldier walked in. Tyler, the soldier that kidnapped him. He heard choked off sobs and shifted to find Paul absolutely freaking out. 

"Paul? Hey, hey, what's wrong?" Pat looked at him in concern, pulling him into his warm embrace. Matt glanced between Paul and Tyler, confused. Even Tord didn't react so badly to his tortures. He watched as he picked up tord, watched as he held tord so delicately to his chest. His eyes widened in realization as he saw the bandages around Paul's neck. He crawled closer, leaning against pat so he could send his comfort, blocking out Tom's roars. 

"Don't worry, paul, we won't let him hurt you like that again. You're safe." He said softly, watching as his eyes widened in surprise. Pat sent him a confused glance.

"Guys help!" Edd whined, trying desperately to calm Tom down. Pat handed Paul to him before getting up to help him. Matt held him close, petting his hair. 

"How did you…?" Paul mumbled, wide-eyed, as he gripped his shirt. 

"I just know, I know he hurt you in awful ways, didn't he?" 

"He controlled me. I couldn't do anything but do whatever he liked to me with an eager smile." He choked, trying to be quiet. He buried his head in his chest. 

"It'll be okay, I promise." He whispered, feeling tears roll down his face. His throat hurt so bad. He could hardly register the soldiers rushing in and containing Tom when his vision swam. The feeling of his back hitting the ground meant nothing when all he could see was darkness.

———————

Poor Paul, he never deserved that. Matt wished he could give Tyler what he fucking deserved, but he couldn't. He was a prisoner. The fact is proven by the cuffs wrapped around his wrist. His stomach growled loudly and he Wondered what he'd be fed today. Maybe Kai wouldn't bother him and he could have peace while he ate.

That was really the only way to tell the time. Every time kai came in, a day had passed. He'd been in here for a few days and he could feel his sanity slipping. The door to his room opened and in stepped a different person. She had short brown hair, blue eyes, and wore a dark grey sweater splattered with gold stars.

"Hello there!" 

"Who are you?" He asked, feeling uneasy at the confrontation with a soldier he'd never seen before. 

"My name's Cali. Black leader sent me here to talk to you."

"About?"

"So it's been almost six months, and Mr. Larsøn still hasn't spoken up about his base location. Black leader is at his wit's end, and he's decided that maybe he'll listen if you guys hurt him."

"What? No! I can't! He's my boyfriend, I could never hurt him." Matt gasped, backing up despite the fact he had no room to do so.

"You have to though, blacks not taking no for an answer."

"I am not hurting my loved one."

"If you don't do this I'll have to hurt you. Neither of us wants that." She said. Matt really didn't want his face to be ruined, but if it meant keeping tord safe, he guessed it'd be worth it. Cali sighed, standing up she hit a button on the far wall. A blue smoke filled the room, swirling around them both. She held up a pink filled syringe. "You know what this does, right?"

"Hit me with it, I'm not going to cave." He said though he couldn't hide his fear. She walked closer and stabbed him, filling his veins with poison. He gasped, unbearable pain coursing through his body. He whined, choking on the smoke that seemed everywhere. His body felt like it was on hyperdrive. He whimpered, feeling his hands curling into his messy matted hair. He choked, feeling like the room was spinning.

"I'll end the pain, but you have to work with me." Cali sighed, crouching in front of him and holding a purple syringe. Matt weighed his options, but ultimately he knew he couldn't stand this horrid pain another minute. He apologized to tord in advance, nodding vigorously.

"I'll do it, I'll do it, just stop it please." He said quickly, sighing as he was immediately pricked with the needle. She moved back over to the other side of the room to press the button. She flipped another switch and a vent opened up, the blue smoke disappearing.

"You won't have to hurt him too badly, I promise. We just need his base location, then we'll let you go."

"You… will?" 

"Yes, black leader may seem mean, but he is a kind man. He knows you're all innocent and wouldn't want that kind of blood on his hands." She said, pulling a water bottle from the cart and handing it to matt. His hands shook as he took a small sip, thoughts lingering on her previous sentence. Would they really be let go? He looked up, determined. He wanted to go home. He wanted all of them to go home.

"When do I have to do this?"

"Next week, I believe. Rest up, black leader will come in the next few days to talk more about it." She got up, grabbing the cart, and exiting the room. "I really am sorry."

With that, she left.

______________

Tord curled upon himself; his wrist rubbed red and bloody. His voice was hoarse, and his mind was swimming with thoughts. It was dark, and he hardly got visitors, he was so hungry but found it hard to keep food down when being watched by two glowing eyes and a sharp-toothed grin. Sleep was hard, most nights filled with visions of how everyone he loved being killed. 

Tom having hot coals shoved into his empty eyes until they bled, Edd screaming as his guts were split across the floor, Matt's eyes rolling back as his arms and legs were ripped off. Tord covered his ears like it would stop the ringing in his ears. When the door to his room opened, he squeezed his eyes shut in pain as light spilled into the room. A switch was flipped, and the room became unbearably bright. He gasped, shaking his head weakly.

He was confused when he heard two sets of footsteps. Were Pay and Tim coming to visit him? He squeaked at the thought that maybe Tyler was accompanying His leader. Fearfully opening one of his eyes, Tord was surprised when he saw who was in the room with him. He was happy, yes, they were alive and well and he was so so glad to see them, but he was also confused and scared. Why were they in black army uniforms? They looked so sad. What's with the bruises and bandages? Were they hurt? Were they there to hurt him? 

"Tord!" Matt gasped upon seeing him, covering his mouth. He was pushing a cart, a familiar cart that always had bad things in it. Tord glared harshly at them, feeling hurt by the mere idea that his boyfriends would hurt him. How dare they!? Tord would never even think about this. 

"Look, I know what it looks like, but please, let's just talk." Tom sighed, walking over to Tord. Tord didn't respond, burying his head in his arms to avoid their eyes. "Come on, you need to eat."A plate was set in front of him, Bacon, eggs, and waffles, his favorite.

"Please tord," Matt said, and how was he supposed to refuse when he sounded so heartbroken? He sat up shakily, feeling his entire body scream at him in protest. His arms burned, and his stomach whined at how he'd been depriving it of the food it needed so badly. Everything hurt. It hurt to lift a fork when his wrist rubbed against the cuffs; it hurt to push food down his dry throat. He could see the worry and pain on Matt's face, but tom… He was stone cold, emotionless. That hurt more than any physical pain he could've been dealt with. Matt held out water for him, urging him to drink.

"What do you want from me?" He said, returning coldness. He had no energy to be friendly and comforting. Really he had no energy for anything.

"You know why we're here, why any of us are here in the first place. You know we don't want to hurt you, but we just want this to be over, and we want to go home."

"Well, you can fuck right off." Tord snapped, drawing his knees up to hide himself.

"Why are you so fucking selfish?!" Tom growled, and Tord couldn't help but flinch back. "We're trying to make things better for all of us!" 

"You're trying to make it better for you! I spent years making my army. I gave up everything else for them; I'm not giving up now." Tord huffed.

"We don't want to lose you, Tord." Matt sighed softly, frowning.

"We don't want to do this, why can't you just work with us!" 

"Do your worse." he spat, turning up his nose. He'd never. Tom grumbled under his breath, standing and going to dig through his many tools. He pulled out a wooden bat, staring at Tord with bated breath. 

Walking up, he swung the bat down on his leg. Tord yelped in pain, covering his legs with his arms. "Just tell us." 

"Why don't you break a damn bone Thomas, see how far I'm willing to go." He said, feeling the aching in his leg. Tom growled, bringing the bat down harder on his poor arm, a resounding _crack_ echoing in the room. 

"Let us help you damn it!" He screamed, bringing the bat down, again and again, tears gathering in his eyes. Tord wailed, feeling blood pool underneath him and soak into his clothes. Tom finally stopped, throwing the bat to the floor in a rage. He looked like he wanted to puke when he finally stopped long enough to see just what he'd done. Tord curled in on himself with a broken arm and bloody bruises littering his body.

"Why are you making us do this? This could be over, we could be free. Yeah, your army might die but at least you'll have us!" Tom screamed angrily, words piercing his heart like the harpoon that ruined his life. 

"I'm not making you do this! It's not about having you, that is hundreds of lives who look up to me. Gone! "

"Are we not enough for you? Did we not make you happy enough? Well, are you happy now? Hurting everyone who cares about you over a stupid army!" 

"Shut up! 

"What now! What happens when They get tired of waiting? Are we supposed to just carry on if they kill you!? Do you think you're doing any fucking good? What if they decide they're gonna kill us? Are you just gonna go back to work like it never happened? You good for nothing, hentai loving, communist freak do realize what you're doing to us!?"

Tom grabbed a metal wrench and threw it at him with an angered scream. Tord gasped at it hit him square on, his head hitting the wall and his nose breaking with a disgusting _crunch_. Tom looked horrified at his action, quickly turning away. Tord's head spun and his vision swam. 

"Tord," Matt stood in front of him, holding up a syringe filled with a familiar pink liquid. His eyes widened and he immediately regretted asking them to do their worse. "Tell us. I know you don't want this."

"Please matt, anything but that," Tord begged. No no no. Not again. He couldn't do it again. 

"Tell us! You're only doing this to yourself." 

"Please, please you know I can't. I can't tell you and I can not take that pain anymore." Matt's eyes were cold as he knelt down, way too close.

"If you can't tell us then you can't get upset when there are consequences." He breathed, pricking him. Tord sobbed, more out of fear than pain. Though that quickly changed as the drug kicked in. His screams were raw and shrill and every nerve in his body was lit on fire. Everything was too much. The blood that stuck to his skin, his clothes rubbing against him, the iron cuffs. He wanted it— No, he _needed_ it to stop. He couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't move.

"We wanted to help, we wanted to go home together." Tom cried, shakily grabbing the throne tools and placing them back in the chart. 

"Please please make it stop. I'm sorry, so so so sorry." He begged, watching through tear-filled eyes as his boyfriend started to walk away. "No no no, don't leave me please please I'm so sorry I can't i-" he choked on his own blood and saliva. They wouldn't leave him, would they? 

"I can't take it, I can't, can't I can't. Please don't leave me like this i-i I can't I'm—" His words were scrambled, mind nearly able to come up with a complete sentence.

"We're sorry too." 

"Make it stop! Make it end, I'll do anything I just want it to end." 

"Will you tell?" Yes! His mind screamed, but he wouldn't let the words leave his mouth. Didn't they love him? Couldn't they see it? "You obviously won't do anything."

"I'm sorry, I'm so so so sorry. I love you, I don't wanna hurt you." Why couldn't it end? Why couldn't he pass out? Let his mind give him a break. He wasn't even aware of the mindless babble that spilled from trembling lips. There was a soft clatter in front of him followed by the slam of a door. They left him…. Just barely he saw the syringe that would end the pain laying on the ground. 

He quickly reached out to grab it only to find in sinking horror that it was too far away. Moving was almost impossible as he scooted close, relief just a few inches away. The chain ended, and his fingers could just barely ghost over the surface. He couldn't fucking grab it no matter how hard he tried. Frustration mixed with the pain as he slammed his fist down on the stone. Assholes! He could hardly move as is and they decide to put his only way out of this just a little too far away? 

Tord sat up fully, kicking his legs out in front of him. He screamed in agony as his foot hit the hard ground, his nerves making much more painful than it really had to be. Even so, he tried his best to push past it, sticking his leg out as far it could go and— Ah-ha! He managed to roll it towards him with his foot. His hands shook wildly as he removed the cap and tossed it to a random corner he couldn't be bothered to care about. He hissed as he pricked himself with the needle, pushing the plunger down. When he was done he let the empty syringe clatter to the floor. His vision was spotted with dark circles that grew larger and larger until as he could see was black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoy make sure to leave a Kudos and a comment. Your feedback modivates me to write


	21. Chapter 21

Tom woke to find himself in a large room. He felt another body under him, and when he sat up and turned, he saw he was lying on Edd. He gasped, pulling him into his arms. He looked around, seeing Matt a few feet away. Pat and Paul were leaning on each other; Paul was covered in bandages with bags under his eyes and a weird black collar around his neck. Some sort of device. He looked so tired, and Tom had to wonder what happened.

Edd groaned, blearily opening his eyes. The moment his eyes locked onto Tom's, he jumped onto him. "Oh, Tom! I'm so, so glad you're okay. I missed you so much, are you okay?" Edd babbled, cupping his face to check for bruises. Tom sighed softly, hugging him tightly and kissing him softly. 

"I'm fine, I promise." He said, looking around wearily. Besides them, the room had a camera with a TV right above that; both blocked off by glass. "What's going on?" Edd frowned. 

"I don't know Tom, I don't know anything." He sighed, hugging him so close and tightly. He only let go to pull Matt over to them. What were they going to do? Tom noticed something strange. Everyone was in this room. Everyone but tord. Matt woke in their arms, gasping softly. He snuggled closer, tears welling up in his eyes.

Paul woke, jolting up and looking around in confusion and fear, arms protectively wrapping around himself. He calmed down some when he saw Patryck. He pulled the slim man into his arms, burying his head in his dirty hair. 

"Hey paul, are you doing okay?" Tom called, watching the poor man flinch. Their eyes locked and he nodded. Tom didn't really believe him but he didn't really want to argue. He'd clearly been through bad things, and he didn't want to trigger him.

"Are you? Did they hurt you?" He asked, eyes moving from him to the screen and back again. 

"A little but we're fine." Paul grimiest, looking down at the now waking boy in his arms. Pat looked up to Paul, gasping and quickly engulfing him in a bone-crushing hug. Paul tensed under him, shifting uncomfortably.

"Oh thank god, you're okay." He gasped, hugging him tightly. Paul hugged him back, humming. "What's happening?"

"We don't know." Tom sighed, hugging his lovers closer. Suddenly the TV turned on, catching their attention. There sat tord, strapped down to a chair with fear in his eyes. A man with wild ginger hair leaned over his shoulder, saying something with a wicked grin. Tom couldn't tell what he said though, as no sound left the TV. He could feel his heart hammer in his chest. 

They exchanged a few words before the man stood up and circled him. He held out a remote and pressed a button. Sound filled their small room as he began to speak once more.

________

Black leader leaned in uncomfortably close, chuckling lowly. "Just how long did you think this little game would last?" Tord shivered, wanting him far far away. His eyes lingered on the two screens. In one room, his fathers and boyfriends laid. In the other, his tortures, minus Tyler, of course. He was standing in the corner next to a male with bouncy brown hair, both smiling at him evilly. In the second room, he could see two small children, his stomach knotting at the thought.

"As long as I needed to," he said after a moment, swallowing thickly. The man above him hummed, pulling a remote from his coat pocket and merely holding it, arms resting on Tord's shoulder. He looked elsewhere in the small room he was in. It was clean, with standard walls and floors instead of stone. There was a desk pushed up against the right wall. And there were two TVs mounted to the wall in front of him with a camera right underneath it.

"Well, I think it's gone on far too long, don't you agree? I say we end this." 

"Oh? How will we do that?" He asked, feeling sick to his stomach. Maybe Tom was right all that time ago. What if he really was going to kill them all? 

Black leader held up the remote, pressing a button, and watching as the camera turned on, indicated by the flashing red light. "Do you remember what you told me when I first put you in the holding cell?"

"N...no?" He mumbled, eyes shifting from the screen to the camera. Were they watching? Could they hear him? What were they thinking at that very moment? Were they thinking 'I told you so'?

"You said that you'd happily die if we let them go… how sweet of you. Does the offer still stand?" 

"Yes! Yes, of course, I'll do anything if it means they're safe."

"Anything but tell us your base location, huh?" He chuckled, standing up straight and pressing the remote again. "Well, Mr larsøn, I think I've wasted my time with you long enough, eh? I'm sure you're all dying to leave this place. Well, I'm sure we could come to an agreement!" He said, much louder than before. Tord had to guess he was making a big show for all prying eyes to see.

"What kind of agreement?" He asked, feeling a wave of fear wash over him. Something was wrong here, far beyond what was normal. As if the camera and TV's weren't obvious indicators, the way the man spoke surely was.

"I'm glad you asked! I'm giving you one last chance to tell us your base location." Tord opened his mouth to respond, to deny him the information he'd been trying to extract from him for months, but Black Leader quickly shut him down. "Ah ah ah, I'd be careful before you answer; For your answers hold consequences." 

"You really think there's something you can say that'll make me change my answer?" Tord snapped, finally looking at him with eyes filled with fear and hate. The man chuckled, but looked anything but amused. 

"I do, in fact, intend to change your mind, Mr. Larsøn. You see, you've been very stubborn, and I've been very patient. To patient. Seven months is a long time, and I've used a lot of resources to make sure you don't die. If you think, even for a second, that I'll make this last choice easy for you, then I'm very sorry to tell you, you're wrong.

Now, you can continue to be stubborn and say no. That's fine; we'll even let you go. If you care about your Army that much, you deserve to be with them. You care about them so much you willingly let your loved ones get hurt though, so if you choose to stay quiet, they will die and it will be by your hands." He breathed, a psychotic grin on his face as he gestured to both screens. Tord stared wide-eyed, unable to process his words fully.

"Now, I'm sure you wouldn't want that, would you? That surely would be an unsatisfying ending. If you say yes, we'll let them go, safe and unharmed. But, for the annoyance you've been, you'll have to pay with your life so they may be free. A fair trade, no? Now tell me, and think carefully, which will you choose?"

Tord could only gape, words swimming in his mind. It was all hopeless, there didn't feel like a right answer. No matter what he did, people would die, and someone would be unhappy. But… he stared at the screen, watching the fear and worry and anger and whatever else emotions his lovers were feeling flash across their faces. Mouths moved but the screen didn't allow the words to reach his ears. He... He couldn't stay quiet any longer, couldn't let that happen. How was he supposed to move one when everyone he ever loved were to die under his hands? It would be him, Tordenver Larsøn, to rip the life from their bodies.

He couldn't do that. 

So with a heavy sigh and somber feeling deep in his chest, he made his choice. Letting all fear and worry drain from his body, he accepted his fate with a calm face and quiet words, staring right into the camera. "I'll do it, I'll tell you." 

Black leader smiled wide, clapping his hands. "What a wonderful choice! I'm glad you've come to your senses! I'm sure your family is just as happy." Tord didn't respond, staring blankly at the screens. He watched them cry, his fathers holding each other as they stared at their son for the last time. He felt… Empty, numb. "Well, say bye-bye, because you'll never see them again."

"I… I'm sorry, I'm so sorry things ended up like this. I wish it was different; I wish I spent more time with you. But I didn't, and now I am going to die and I can't change that. So please, live for me." Tord said, voice void of any real emotion. "I love you" 

With the hit of a button, the cameras were turned off. He forced his eyes away from the TV. He didn't want to see how heartbroken they were as he couldn't possibly hold himself together if he saw. He felt so numb but he knew the moment he saw how broken he'd made them he _knew_ he'd get that rush of emotions and break. Black leader chuckled, smiling wide. "You're going to tell me, and we are going to go there together so I know you are not lying to me. If you decide to lie to me they will die, got it?" He nodded numbly. 

"You will sneak me inside and to your office. You will inform your soldiers and mine will invade. Understood?" He breathed, leaning in with a scarily serious expression. He nodded again, closing his eyes as a wave of nauseous hit him. Black leaders stood, grinning. "Tyler, Jacklyn, watch over him and get that location. I'm going to prepare our soldiers. I trust that he knows better than to lie to us." Tord swallowed thickly, not wanting to be alone in a room with them.

The two males grinned, moving over to stand just behind tord. "Yes, Black leader," they said in unison. 

"So you're finally leaving," Jacklyn said, leaning in.

"I'm gonna miss playing with you" Tyler grinned, leaning in on his other side.

"Yeah, can't believe you held up for 7 whole months." 

"And to think, I'll never get to have my fun with you again." Tyler sighed dramatically, breath ghosting the back of his ears and sending shivers down his spine. 

"I have an idea, Tyler!" The brown-haired boy said suddenly.

"Oh?"

"Since he's leaving today, I'm sure black leader wouldn't mind if you… borrowed him for an hour or two." Tord felt his heart sink at his words. Oh no. Oh god no. 

"What a wonderful idea!" Tyler chuckled. "And maybe you'd like to join me?" No! No no, absolutely not.

"Why, I thought you'd never ask!" Fuck!

Goddamn it. Even when he was at his lowest there was still something to fuck him over (literally). Guess rock bottom has a basement.

————————

"I… I'm sorry, I'm so sorry things ended up like this. I wish it was different; I wish I spent more time with you. But I didn't, and now I am going to die and I can't change that. So please, live for me." Tord said, voice void of any real emotion. It made him sick to his stomach that he could say that so calmly, that he could just accept that he was going to die. "I love you" 

The screen went black, and the room fell silent. But that silence only lasted for a moment. Edd screamed, loud and shrill, tugging his hair harshly. "No, no no no," he babbled, sobbing as the reality of the situation hit him like a truck. Tord was as good as dead. Tom and Matt held Edd in their arms, unable to properly comfort due to their own distress. He mumbled soft words of comfort that fell on deaf ears. "No no no no no, he can't be dead, he can't die." He gagged, choking on his own spit.

He half glanced over to pau and pat, seeing that they weren't faring any better. Patryck sobbed violently, clawing at his throat as he struggled to get air into his lungs. Paul cupped his face, trying to calm him down. "Hey, hey, I need you to breathe alright?" He said, pressing a kiss to his forehead. 

"Tord, He— he's gonna die, Paul—" Pat covered his mouth, curling in on himself. Paul pulled him closer, trying to hold himself together. It wasn't easy. After all, his son just said his final goodbyes.

"I know, I know, but you need to breathe. Please just breathe." He begged, stroking his hair gently. Pat shook his head, burying his head in Paul's shoulder. Paul's lip trembled, hands shaking as he realized nothing was working. His own tears spilled down his face. "It'll be alright, it's gonna be fine I promise." He whispered. He closed his eyes tight as a familiar pink gas filled their tiny cell. It filled his lungs and made his chest hurt. 

The darkness that came was welcomed.

  
  


————————

Tord held himself tightly as they walked, head low. He could feel his gut knot uncomfortably, his body swaying from the blood loss. His wounds from the crash had been reopened, blood soaking into his navy blue overcoat. As the red leader, of course, he had secret hallways to his office. He was a young adult and didn't always want to socialize.

Black leader walked by his side, holding himself tall like tord once did. He could tell the other was quite pleased. Because of course, he was. Tord opened the door to his office, finding it cleaner than he remembered. Guess pau and pat tidied it up whilst he was gone. How typical of them. Black leader grabbed his arm and shoved him into his chair.

"All you have to do is give out the final order and the game can finally end." Black leader said softly, leaning against the door to his office. Tord stared down at the mic, knowing what he had to do. He pressed the button, taking a deep breath before he began to speak in a soft, solemn voice.

"I need your attention, not for long, just for a few minutes. As you all know, I was kidnapped a few months ago. Unfortunately, I was unable to stay quiet. In just a few minutes their soldiers will invade and you will all die. None of you deserve what is about to happen. I am sorry I have failed you." Tears dripped down his face, his chest feeling unbearably heavy. The salty tears burned the cuts on his face, adding another layer of pain. All his hard work, all these lives, all gone. 

Black leader grinned, clicking his walkie-talkie. "Charge in." Black leader walked closer, staring into Tord's glossy eyes. "Well Mr. Larsøn, it's been fun, but I'm glad this will finally be over."

Tord felt his vision swim as the screams outside his door increased in volume. He gasped as a loud bang filled the air and pain radiated from his left shoulder. Well great, even more pain. His ears rang impossibly loud. He slumped forward, whimpering in pain as black spots filled his vision. Distantly he could hear muffled voices. They didn't matter, nothing mattered. The only thing that mattered was the darkness that wrapped him in its cold yet comforting embrace. It would all be over soon.

————————

The short boy groaned, tossing around in bed as he slowly gained consciousness. He wanted to get up, needed to really, but god his bed was so soft and comfy it'd be a crime if he didn't appreciate it just a little longer, right? He rolled onto his back, cracking his eye open as he half pondered why he felt an inexplicable feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach. 

He stared up at his cream-colored ceiling, the faint smell of cola and bleach filling his senses. His eyes widened as he realized where he was and what had happened. Tears welled up in his eyes as he rolled over and pulled his blanket over his head. He prayed to whatever god would listen that everything that he just went through was just a really long, twisted dream. He just wanted it all to be a stupid fucking dream. His breathing was quick as he tried to convince himself that tord wasn't dead. But it was real, and that all happened. Pushing himself up off the bed, he stumbled out into his hallway, hoping that maybe, just maybe, they were just fucking with them and tord wasn't dead.

He passed a calendar, surprised when he saw that it was August. Had it really been that long? Shaking his head, he moved on, the question as to who changed his calendar lost on him as he was too focused on trying to find his boyfriend.

But as he stood shakily in the middle of his apartment, Edd didn't see anyone else in the room, he collapsed to the floor in tears. Dread filled him as he realized the lack of his favorite feline. No no no, this had to be a dream, please, please, please let this be a dream.

Spoiler alert; it wasn't a dream 


	22. Chapter 22

Tom woke with a horrible feeling deep in his chest. Everything felt wrong, he felt wrong. This was nothing like those movies, or like the nights before it all when he'd wake with a muddy head, the previous night unbeknownst to him. No, he knew. The moment he became conscious, he knew. He could remember the cold, hard floor, watching the man walking around Tord through the screen. The look of fear on Tord's face slowly morphing into calm understanding, acceptance, his voice as he gave his final goodbyes, those would never ever leave his head. 

Tom was scared to open his eyes. What if everyone was dead? What if he was forced to face his dead lovers, knowing there wasn't a damn thing he could've done to save them? What if- Tom took a deep breath. It didn't smell like blood. He continued to breathe, taking in his surroundings. 

He was on a bed, a soft comfortable one. The room he was in smelled of Smirnoff and lavender air freshener. But… No… there's no way… sitting up, tom reached to his left, keeping his eyes firmly shut. His hand brushed up against the cool neck of his beloved bass, and he knew. Somehow, he was back in his apartment. Opening his eyes, he only confirmed this. 

"No no no, how?" He whispered, standing up on weak legs. God, they felt like jelly! Still, he pushed on, using the wall as he looked around his apartment, which felt so much smaller. He finally stumbled into the kitchen after clearing the place and finding no other human beside himself. Sitting on his island was a neatly written note.

Dear Thomas Rosewell

We can't express how sorry we are for all the trauma we've caused. We never meant for things to get so out of hand, and you definitely were never meant to be dragged into things. We hope to one day make amends

Tay & Kai

Tom dropped the note, his palm digging into the marble as a way to ground himself. Tord was... He whimpered as horrible flashbacks invaded his mind. He was dead, wasn't he? Tom jumped, whipping around as fear flooded his system as his front door crashed open. Luckily, the only people rushing in were Edd and Matt, looking frantic and tired respectively.

"Tom!" Matt quickly pulled the shorter male into a hug, his voice soft and breathy. Edd was clinging to Matt's other arm, eyes darting around. "Is Tord here?" 

His eyes held a deep sorrow, and he must've known the answer already. "No… I've checked." Edd slowly sank to the floor, tears dripping down his face as he let out a choked off a sob.

"No! He can't…" Tom dropped down to the floor, Matt next to him as he scoped up edd in his arms. He looked to his freckled boyfriend for an explanation.

"Tord's he's not... He's not here. We look through our apartments and he's not here." Maty said softly, tears of his own welling up in his tired blue eyes. 

"No no no! He's not dead, he can't be.." Edd whined. Tom frowned, running his fingers through Edd's dirty hair. 

"I'm so sorry, edd, I'm sorry." He mumbled, closing his eyes tightly.

"No, no he isn't dead. He'll come back, right? Tord won't leave us again, I'm a good boyfriend, right?"

"Of course he loves us, edd. He did all that for us, you're a wonderful boyfriend.." Tom soothed. Edd whimpered, clutching his hoodie tightly.

"So he'll come back?" Tom bit his lip, unable to respond in a way that would make Edd happy. How was he supposed to respond? Thankfully, Matt found a way to respond in a way that Tom couldn't.

"I don't know Eddie, but I'm sure if he's okay he'll come to us as soon as possible. He just needs some time to heal." He said, tears spilling down his face. Edd nodded, leaning against Tom's chest with a tired, loopy smile.

"Maybe we should move, they know where we live," Tom said, biting his lip.

"But if we move, Tord won't be able to find us? Can't we just wait until he comes back?" Edd whined, staring up at Tom pleadingly. He nodded, grip tightening as his body trembled. "Yeah… he'll be back real soon... He just needs some time to heal. When he comes back we'll throw a nice big party. I'm sure he'll love it after so long without food. Then we can buy a big house just like our old house. Things will be just like old times…" Edd yawned with a watery smile, eyes drooping as he fell asleep. 

"Just like old times?" Matt mumbled, closing his glassy blue eyes as tears rolled down his freckled cheeks. Tom tried to speak, to tell him to stay, but the lump in his throat made it difficult to speak. He swallowed thickly, closing his eyes to push back the tears before he finally spoke.

"He can sleep here. I think... I think being near us will help." Matt nodded, pulling Edd into his arms and shuffling into Tom's room. Taking a deep, shaky breath, Tom focused on his hands as they trembled just as bad as his body.

"Tom." Matt walked back out, helping him to his feet. He led them to the couch, pulling Tom onto his lap. The shorter male gasped, a slight blush crossing his features. 

"Matt! What the-"

"Tom, I'm not dumb. I know you're hurting too, but you're trying to hide it from us." Matt cupped his face in his delicate hands, staring deeply into his soul and crumbling every carefully constructed wall Tom had built to the ground. "Please, don't hide it, I'm here. Edd's here. Just… talk to me." His voice was small, yet it still pierced right through tom. Tears were streaming down his face and words rolled off his tongue before Tom even had the thought to stop them.

"Oh god matt! I just- I don't know. I can't — edd, he's so sure, so fucking sure tords gonna come back. And — and I wish he was right, I want him back so badly, but he isn't coming back. He went through so much for so— so long. He's dead, he's dead and I miss him so much already. I just wanna hold him again, and tell him how sorry I am. I know Edd wants that too, but I can't— I can't tell him Tord's dead cause' he's gonna break, I know he is. I can't— I just-" Tom dissolved into unintelligible broken babble, shoulders shaking violently. 

Matt rubbed circles in his back, burying his face in his mousey brown hair as they cried. A long time passed before tom finally quieted, body growing still as he softly began to snore. Matt stared at his tear-stained face. With a soft sigh, Matt whipped the tears from his face and carried him to his room, and tucked him into bed next to edd. He left and entered his own apartment. 

It was just like he remembered, mirrors, and status of himself everywhere. He walked up to one of the mirrors. His once perfect face was ruined. He had fading bruises right below his right eye, and a scar on the corner of his mouth. It saddened him to see the flaws he so carefully avoided for years. He felt even worse knowing Tord looked so much worse, and if he really were alive, he'd be forced to remember every horrible thing he'd endured every time he'd look in the mirror. That wasn't fair; That if he truly survived he'd never be able to forget or live peacefully. Was it selfish of him to hope that he was dead? That he was finally at peace, so he'd never have to suffer again. Was that selfish? 

Matt didn't know, all he knew was that he was swirling with negative emotions and he needed to let them out. His fist smashed the mirror in front of him, the shattering sound ringing in his ears as the glass clattered to the ground and breaking into even smaller pieces. Tears rolled down his face as he shook, pulling his hand to his chest. 

"Oh no, oh.." He mumbled, taking a few wobbling steps back. Now his hand was bleeding and he had little bits of glass in his wounds. Oh no oh no. He bit his lip, feelings of dread filled him. Now he had to clean that up.

"Matt?" He nearly jumped out of his skin, turning to find that he forgot to close his door. Standing in his doorway was a very shocked mark, looking like he'd seen a ghost. Before Matt could say anything, he was suddenly being engulfed in a bone-crushing hug. "Oh god, we were so worried! You've been missing for 4 months! How long have you been here?" 

"Oh… I.. Just got back today. I didn't think you guys would notice or care that we went missing. We weren't exactly close."

"Yeah, but I was still worried. We heard a lot of crashing from your apartment and suddenly you were gone! What happened?" Mark pulled back, looking around the small apartment.

"A… A lot happened, Mark, I don't really wanna get into it right now." Matt mumbled, rubbing his tired eyes. Mark hummed in understanding.

"Fair enough. I'm guessing Tom and Edd are in their apartment?" Matt nodded, yawning. "How about we all talk later? I'm sure you're tired."

"Yeah, it's been a very long few months. How about tomorrow?" Mark nodded, saying his goodbyes before leaving Matt to his own devices. Sighing, the ginger quickly grabbed the first aid kit and wrapped up his hands. "I'll clean up later." He sighed, walking back into Tom's apartment and crawling into bed with them. He felt Tom roll over and wrap his arms around his midsection. Burying his face in Tom's chest, Matt tried desperately to focus on the heat of his boyfriend's body and not the crushing weight of the last four months. What he wouldn't give to forget, selfish as that may be.

———————

Patryck woke with a start, eyes flying open as he shot into a sitting position. His hands found their way tangled in his messy hair as his breathing pitched. Crystal clear, he felt like he was reliving those horrible moments. Tears pricked his golden eyes as his breathing quickened. "No, no no no," he whispered to himself as he scanned the room he was in. He was in his own personal sleeping quarter. In the red army base. He forced himself to his feet, shaking. Where was Paul? They shared this room. Fearfully, Pat opened his door and stumbled out. 

Blood. It was everywhere; Dark, crimson splatter across the walls and floors like paint. Its rustic smell assaulted his nose and made him gag. It was almost like he could taste the copper on his tongue. His entire body shook as he walked farther into the common. Bodies laid on the ground, limp and eyes lifeless. No, no not like this! How had this happened? Years of blood, sweat, and tears all gone… Patryck crumbled to the ground, a sob stuck in his throat.

"Patryck? Pat!" Paul's voice rang out through the fog clouding his mind, voice riddled with worry. He didn't have the energy to lift his head, feeling like he was falling despite being on solid ground. "Pat, I need you to look at me. Come on darling…" Paul said gently, lifting his head with a shaking hand. Silver eyes met golden pinpricks.

"Pau-" Patryck choked out. Tears blurred his vision and it felt like someone was pushing down on his chest.

"I need you to breathe, alright? I promise I'm right." Paul said, allowing Patryck to latch onto him with a death grip. The male gasped as if he was just asked to do the impossible.

"Breathe? You— you think i — I can just breathe? God damn it, Paul, tord He—" Patryck cut himself, hyperventilating.

"I know, I know it's hard. It hurts I know. Please, please just breathe. You're allowed to cry, but please…" Paul was holding back tears himself, voice shaking ever so slightly. Pat leaned his head against Paul's chest, nodded weakly. "In 5, out 7. Take your time, it's gonna be okay."

Patryck felt the rise and fall of Paul's chest, noting how tense he was but choosing not to comment. It was hard to copy, fear freezing his body. His fingers twisted painfully in Paul's hoodie. "They're dead Paul, they're all dead."

"I know, but we need to go. It's not safe here and I don't know if there's still black army soldiers still in the base." Paul mumbled softly, combing his fingers through pats hair.

"Let's check his office. There's still a chance, right.?" He whimpered. Paul's breath hitched.

"Patryck, I know you want to but we really need to—"

"We have to! We have to at least try… I don't want to lose him. We have to have hope."

"Patryck, I don't want to lose him either but we can't change this! I can't lose you too." Paul shoots back, feeling tears fill his eyes.

"What if he's in there? What if he's in there alive and bleeding out? Can you live with yourself if we leave and he dies?" Paul gasped, covering his mouth as tears dripped down his face, heart heavy.

"Pat, don't do this to me." He begged quietly. 

"There's a chance, no matter how small. I'd rather have the confirmation." He said, reaching up to hold his face, frowning when he flinched. Paul knew he couldn't change his mind.

"Fine," he sighed, pulling them both to their feet. "I can't go in with you though, i'm sorry." Patryck opened his mouth to plead but Paul stopped him. "I'll walk you to the door, but no farther. I just can't, I can't take it if I see something."

"Alright…" Patryck sighed bitterly. It was clear he didn't want to be alone but respected Pau enough not to push it. Pat held his hand, leading him through the winding halls, pau keeping his eyes on Patryck. He didn't want to see their faces. He failed them. They arrived at his office, a big cherry wood door taunting him. Paul turned and leaned against the doorframe. 

He knew it wasn't going to end well, that Patryck wasn't going to find their son alive there. He heard a broken whimper as the pat walked back out, closing the door. Without a word, he shook his head and gripped his wrist and basically dragged Paul down the hall. Paul squeaked, confused and a little freaked out for reasons he couldn't explain.

"Patryck? What was in there?" 

"Blood, a lot of fucking blood with a message saying we're too late." He mumbled, keeping his eyes forward. Paul stared down at where Pat had his wrist confined. He couldn't help but get horrible memories of Tyler. He shook his head to rid himself of the horrible thoughts. 

They entered the hanger and jumped onto one of the only planes still able to fly. They took their 

"What now?" Pat asked, pulling his legs up and into his hoodie. Paul sighed, starting the plane. 

"I don't know pat, we'll figure it out. But for now, let's just get home, Kay?" He sighed. Pat nodded, sinking deeper into his hoodie as the plane took off. He stared down at the world below as they flew higher and higher. The world looked so pretty from up here, he almost forgot how much he loved the sky. 

It was a long flight to Norway. "It's so pretty from up here." He said, leaning against the window to get a better look.

"It really is. These past few months really made me apprentice all the little things like being able to walk around and just being able to look at the sky." Paul sighed, focusing on the open blue sky. "The first thing I'm doing when we get home is taking a long shower."

"Yeah, a shower sounds nice," Pat whispered softly, wiping the tears from his eyes before he suddenly gasped. "Oh, I have a surprise to show you when we get there." 

"Oh? What kind of surprise do you have for me?"

"A really good one." Paul sighed, realizing that he'd have to wait. This really was gonna be a long flight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double upload because I'll be going on hiatus for about a month. School.
> 
> If you wanna chat with my in the mean time, I have my own discord server. https://discord.gg/P5raqyU
> 
> We're kinda dead but you can always help revive it.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today's my birthday, :p

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if you thought I killed tord, I did not.

The two Red Army soldiers chatted up a storm as they walked up the dirt road to their base. Today had seemed like a normal day when they left out a couple of hours earlier to search, but as they entered the stone walls of the building only to find blood splattered across the floor and dead bodies with dull lifeless eyes, it was clear today was anything but normal. "Holy shit!" The dark haired boy said, covering his nose as his senses were attacked but the putrid smell of blood.

"What…What the hell happened..?" Said the blond, tears welling up in his blue eyes. They were only gone for a few hours, how could they possibly have been attacked and killed in such a short amount of time? A slow realization dawned upon him. "I'm gonna check Red's office." He said, taking off.

"Yuu," the other boy grabbed his wrist, yanking him back. "What the hell are you thinking? He's been missing for seven years, why would he be here?" 

"Can't you see yanov? Clearly the black army is behind this." He said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, which, to him it really was. Why else would there be an attack out of the blue enough to kill everyone? He faced forward, waiting to be released.

"Maybe they are, but we really should be thankful we're alive and leave before we get killed by any lingering soldiers." Yanov sighed.

"Dude, we have to at least check. If you won't, I will. Go home without me." He was suddenly spun around to meet Yanov's eyes.

"I'm not leaving you alone and you know this!" Yanov snapped.

"Then let's go. I've put years into this damn army, I'm going to check, got it?" 

"For the love of— fine!" Yanov sighed. Smiling, yuu pressed a quick kiss to his check. Holding hands, they walked through the halls, carefully avoiding bodies. Finally they reach his office door, yuu wasted no time opening the door and mentally preparing himself for what the door hid.

Nothing in the world could have prepared him for what was inside.

"Oh my god, yanov!" He squeaked in horror, gagging as the smell of blood and burned flesh overwhelmed him. Red leader slumped over his desk, blood coming from his face and arm, the words You're too late written in red on the wall behind him. He really hoped it wasn't blood too.

"Is he even alive?" 

"I don't fucking know, why don't you check?" Yuu glared at him, Yanov raised his hands in surrender.

"Calm down would ya?" He sighed, walking over and sitting Red leader up. Hre checked his pulse, trying to ignore the existent of his wounds. His right side was burned badly, deep cuts on his face, as well and a bullet hole in his left shoulder. "He's alive, barely, but alive." 

Yuu nibbled on his lip, pacing back and forth in the small office. "Oh, what are we going to do now? We can't let him die!" 

"Well It's not like we can take him to a hospital."

"We could take care of him, right? I mean, you did go to medical school, right?" He paused to stare at his boyfriend, and upon receiving confirmation, he continued to pace.

"Yuu that's not a-"

"Come on, I went to school to be a therapist, so I think we have a pretty good shot." They both froze in fear as gunshots rang out in the air, uncomfortably close. "Yanov, we have to go, don't make us leave him." He whined, biting his lip and he pushed the door shut in fear someone would pass by and see them. Yanov looked between him and their leader before sighing loudly, and pulling Red leader into his arms.

"Fine, now let's go now." He said, listening closely. Yuu waved him over, opening a secret door. Yanov just gapped, but really didn't have time to question because a gunshot came from just outside the door. They quickly ran through the hidden hallways, holding their breath as loud noises could be heard from the office behind them. What chilled him to the bone was the manic laughter that followed the crashing. 

"Looks like someone is trying for a new ending." an unfamiliar yet horrifying voice said from inside the office. Yuu never wanted to hear it again. Reaching the exit, they nearly fell from how sudden of a stop they made. Once outside, Yuu slammed the door shut hard enough to jam it.

They stood there for a few seconds to just catch their breath. "That was close." 

"How do you know about that?" He asked, leaning against the wall. Yuu stood tall and walked towards their emergency car, opening the trunk and pulling out a couple towels.

"Come on, we really need to get home."

"How did you know about that?" Yanov asked again, walking over and watching him work. He placed the towels down on the back seat.

"We can talk about this during the drive, put his hood up for me." Doing as he was told, yanov set Red on the towel. They jumped in and very quickly left the area. Not only were they worried for his life, but their own. Yuu finally let out a breath he didn't know he was holding as they made it onto the open rode away from the base. 

"So…."

"I helped install the hidden door for him." Yuu sighed, pressing on the gas a little as fear crept up his neck, leaving him cold despite it still being a very warm late August. 

"Are you sure we can handle this? I know you're worried, and trust me I am too, but what could we possibly do?"

"Our best yanov, he's our leader. He put so much into this army and cared so much about us, he doesn't deserve to die like this. We're going to do this." He gave yanov a soft smile. "We're the perfect team." 

Yanov sighed softly, running his fingers through Red's dirty, matted, dark blond hair. Poor guy, he was even younger than them. Red leader softly whimpered, moving about like a worm in pain. "Don't worry, we'll patch you up, alright? Just calm down" he soothed, petting his hair and watching with content when he did indeed calm down, instead leaning into the comforting warmth.

They arrived at their flat building. Yanov wrapped Red Leader in the towle and the two of them rushed up to their flat. Distantly, Yuu heard the sound of shattering glass. He'd have to talk to his flatmates later. Right now, he was a little oreocupided. Yanov entered the bathroom and set Red Leader in the tub and took off the towle, setting it in a bin nearby. Yuu left to change, and Yanov stripped Red Leader down to his boxers, dumping the clothes in the bin with the towle. He was covered in scars and burns, a bullet hole in his. Purple, black, and blue painted his body. The worst of it was his right side. In short, he looked awful, and yanov honestly had no idea how this man was still alive. 

"Oh no…" he mumbled, eyes raking over his broken frame. He looked so much worse under the bright light of their bathroom. He got up to look for a fresh towel and rag and yuu arrived back from their bedroom, now holding their small first-aid kit. He gasped, covering his mouth and nose in disgust.

"What happened to him?" he gasped, looking away. Yanov shrugged, grabbing a dark blue towel and black rag. He also found a scentless bar of soap and made sure to grab that too. "Um, do you need me to get anything? Our first aid box isn't full enough."

"Umm," he tapped his chin, setting everything down by the tub. "Bandages, antiseptic, some fresh clothes for him, soup," he pressed his hand to Red's forehead, not surprised to find it hot to the touch. "and some antibiotics." Yuu nodded and dashed out of their small apartment. Now it was just two. "To handle you." he removed his boxers, choosing to focus on his upper body as he started the water and waited for it to fill. He looked a bit closer at his arm and noticed puncture wounds. Just what happened to this man? And how was he still alive? Turning off the water, yanov lathered the soap bar and began to gently wash around the wounds. The bat watered turned into a murky brown, and Yanov was relieved to find the wounds weren't nearly as bad as he once believed. Besides the gun wound, his right side, and his wrist, all of his wounds seemed to be healing or already healed. He sighed, grabbing the towel and gently pressing it to the still bleeding gun wound.

Yuu entered their flat and set down a bag next to yanov. "He's looking… better… Right?" Yanov nodded, draining the tub and slipping him into a pair of new boxers. It was a delicate process, cleaning out the wounds, bandaging each and every little cut or burn open on his poor body. Red's foggy eyes opened and he stared unfocuse at yanov. 

"Hey there Red, you must be in a lot of pain." he said, pulling on a white tee and shorts. Red leader didn't really respond, simply closing his eyes in pain. Yanov picked him up and brought him to their couch. Yuu walked in with a bowl of soup, water, and antibiotics. He looked tired and worried as he handed the items over.

"I'm gonna go set up the guest room." 

"Alright, time to eat." Yanov turned back to Red Leader. Grey eyes opened once more and Yanov got to work. He ate fairly quickly, and it was no wonder. He must've been starved in the awful place that held him. He took his antibiotics and chugged the water bottle quickly. "Alright, you can go back to sleep." Sighing, he dumped the bowl in the sink and brought him to their extra room. Red curled up into a ball the moment he was set on the bed, snuggling into the soft pillows. 

Entering their room, yanov found yuu staring out of their bedroom window. He laid down next to him, staring up from the position he chose. They lay in silence, Yuu thinking about whatever he was worried about, with Yanov thinking about the life changing and traumatic events that just transpired in only an hour. "He's so much worse than I thought." yuu said finally.

"Having doubts?"

"No, just… having mixed feelings about this all. I mean, I was never close to him or his parent's. The closest I got to any of them was Patryck. It's weird seeing someone I hardly even know in so much pain and having so much worry for their life. I don't even know his age!" he said, sighing softly as he tugged at his blond locks. 

"Hey, I get, no one knows much about him. But that's why taking care of him is good for us! We'll have to learn about him, and like you said, we're the best people for this." Yanov said, reaching out to grab his hand. Yuu nodded with a smile, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I think we can take a well deserved nap."

___________

  
  


Pat found himself sitting comfortably on his couch, reading to himself in his peaceful living room. It felt so nice to just relax and melt into the soft cushions. His husband sitting on the other end, sleeping. Pat took a moment just to stare at him. A smile graced his face as he stared at his beautiful features. Maybe a dumb at time, Paul really was the best husband and best friend he could ask for. He looked back to his book, still smiling, when a gust of freezing cold wind hit him. He squeezed his eyes shut in pain, dropping the book and wrapping his arms around his now freezing body. Opening his eyes once more, Pat was no longer in his living room. Peach colored walls and soft red carpets replaced by ice cold titles and mute grey walls. 

Faceless soldiers to an unnamed army surrounded him and Paul, who sat a few feet away groggily rubbing his eyes. Two soldiers moved over to pau, movements so unnaturally quick and smooth they almost appeared to have glided across the floor rather than walked. They grabbed Paul and held him in place with surprising strength, his struggling futile.

"Let him go!" Pat snapped, moving to perform the action himself, and he would have if not for another pair of soldiers grabbing him. Growling, he attempted to fight them off. They were far too strong, their grip only tightening to a painful degree. The complete opposite of what he wanted. 

A soldier with brown hair and gleaming yellow eyes stepped into the open space, staring down at confused and fearful Paul. This one's uniform was recognizable as the Black Army's "It's time to repay for your many sins and wrong doings, the havoc you've caused. The only suitable punishment is pain, of course." His voice made the hairs on his arm stand, warped in a weird way that made it sound unhuman. He suddenly turned to face Patryck. "And since you care so much about this man, he'll be the one to receive the physical pain." 

"What?" Paul yelped, fighting against their hold even more now. Yet again though they proved to be unaffected. 

"How does that make any sense? Don't you dare hurt him! What did we do to be brought here?" Pat asked, anger and fear brewing within him. He wasn't graced with an answer, the man's attention relocated to paul. He was suddenly in possession of a metal bar, holding it over his shoulder. "Stop! Stop, Don't hurt him!" He swung, a sickening crack echoing out in the room. Paul cried out in pain as blood began to soak through his pink hoodie. 

"Let us continue till the floor runs red with your blood." The man grinned, swinging again. His eyes turned to pat, silently pleading for him to save him. But he couldn't though, no matter how much he tried he just couldn't seem to free himself. 

"Stop it! Stop it, leave him alone." Pat screamed, his stomach turning at the sight of someone he loved so much being hurt. The bar hit Paul's head, disappearing shortly after. Blood dripped from his hairline, covering his face in the crimson liquid. "Paul! Please, please stop!" Tears welled up in his eyes.

— <> —

Patryck held Paul close, head buried in his chest as he mumbled in his sleep. Paul himself stayed wide awake. Sleep was never easy for him, but besides the normal insomnia paul was plagued by nightmares of _him._ Pat's grip tightened around him, and Paul felt a spike of panic. God, that was happening a lot. A hug, a tap on the shoulder, a kiss on the cheek or lips, all things he'd normally enjoy now sending waves of fear and memories of _him_ filling him to the brim. He couldn't understand why he was having such thoughts and fears of Patryck. Pat was kind, and caring, and always cared about how Paul felt, and _never_ forced him to do anything. Nothing like him, like tyler. 

"No...no please don't," Pat mumbled, scrunching up his face in fear. Oh, he was having another nightmare. He began to shake, fingers gripping Pau's T-shirt. "Stop, please.." Paul ran his fingers through Pat's soft hair, trying to sooth the man as he trembled and whimpered In his sleep. 

"It's alright, pat, I promise." Pau said, rubbing gental circles into his back. Just what was he dreaming about? Tears pushed past his tightly closed eyelids. Pau let his thoughts wonder as Pat fell quiet. They always seemed to come back to Tyler. To the words and threats he'd whisper. His soft touches and not so soft kisses. On the daily any touch felt like his, and it scared him. Paul squeezed his eyes shut, pat letting out a strained whine as if he saw Paul did. No.. Paul didn't want him to see or know of the awful acts. He gasped as pat suddenly let out a scream, tears now streaming down his face. He tried to push Paul away, but Paul kept his hold on the nightmare stricken male.

"Pat?" He said over Pat's cries, as he started to thrash in Paul's arms. 

"Stop! Stop it, Please, I can't lose him too! You're hurting him let him go! Stop stop, stop it! Can't you see he's hurting" he sobbed, clawing violently at Paul's chest, trying to free himself from his grasp.

"Patryck, it's just a dream, please calm down." Pau tried, biting his lip and trying not to scream.

"He's bleeding, he can't breath, can't you see what you're doing? You're killing him!" Pat managed to push himself away from Paul, scratching at his own face and arms. "Please please please, he's gonna die, and I'm gonna be alone." 

Paul grabbed his wrists and held them with a tight, fearful grip, sitting up. He needed to wake him up, pat needed to be awake. He shook his shoulders, a little rougher than he meant to but it got the job done. Pat shot up, panting like he just ran a marathon as he looked frantically around their bedroom. "Pat, hey, look at me." He whipped around to face him, eyes wide.

"Paul..?"

"Yeah, you were having a night terror. I'm right here, alright?" He said, pulling pat into a hug. "Nothing that happened was real."

"They were hurting you. They were hitting you and you were losing so much blood. They were going to kill you!" He whimpered, gripping Paul like a life-line. 

"I'm right here, alive and I'm not losing any blood." Pat pulled back slightly so he could face him, hands moving to cup his cheeks, sending that familiar wave of fear through him. "I'll always be here for you pat, no matter what." Even if it makes me uncomfortable and scared, he wanted to say, but there's no way he'd tell Pat that he was scaring him.

"Yeah…" pat said, cleaning his face free of tears. He pulled paul down to bed, wrapping his arms protectively around his frame. "We're partners for life." Paul hummed in agreement, not trusting his voice. He was overwhelmed with emotions and he didn't want to clue pat in. So instead he buried he face in his chest to hide and did everything in his power not cry. He could feel Patryck relax around him, but it wasn't easy to do the same.

How long was he gonna be able to hide?

"You know pau, I've been thinking" pat started to speak again, voice much calmer. "I… I think it'd be best we moved."

"Really? Why so?" He asked, hoping the strain in his voice could just pass as him being sleepy. 

"I just… want a change in scenary. Plus… they know we live here." That was true, Paul used that information enough to explain away his jumpiness. "Maybe we can move to London."

"Why there?"

"Because we have friend there, and it'll be nicer to have someone to talk to besides ourselves." It would be nice to talk to someone else. He loved pat, but he needed other interactions. 

"Yea… it might be good." Pau said, closing his eyes tightly. Pat yawned, tired as expected. "Let's talk more in the morning, Kay?" Pat hummed, already on his way to sleep. This left pau alone with his thoughts and fears.

This wasn't going to last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whooooo, this wasn't stressful at all!  
> Schedule is every other weekend, next chapter is gonna be long. Like, 5-6k at least (I hope)


	24. Chapter 24

Paul helped Patryck pack all of their stuff into cardboard boxes, shoving all the pictures and photo albums into a few boxes so they could avoid them for as long as possible. He never realized just how many photos they had where Tord was in them. High school graduation, buying their first house, birthdays and their weddings, so many photos of him, of his baby boy. Pat felt tears roll down his face just looking at one, a very specific one. It was the very last photo they ever took together. It was when Pau and Pat joined the red army. They joined with one goal in mind. Keep Tord safe, keep his spirits up when he got sad or overworked. To keep him from doing something stupid. They failed him, failed their job. He should've pushed harder for Tord to stay, not to go back for that damn robot. He should've been faster, he should've-- 

A small gasp left his mouth as the picture he was holding was taken from his grasp and set carefully into a box. He jerked his head up to meet the worried gaze of paul. He rubbed his eyes to clear them of tears. "Hey, I know it's hard, but things are gonna get better," Paul said softly, shaking hands reaching out to hold Pat's.

"I know, I just… it's so hard to think about everything I could've done differently. I could've prevented all of this." He sniffled, squeezing his hand back. It was so hard not to think about all that stuff.

"There's nothing we can do now, it's all in the past. We have to move forward, for him." His visible silver eye was downcast as he spoke, thumb rubbing gentle circles against Pat's hand. 

"How are you able to be so calm about this? You're so in control of your emotions." He immediately looked up to him, holding eye contact for just a few moments before looking away once again.

"I know he's watching us from beyond, and I want him to be proud of the progress I've made. I'm not always in control of everything, but I try really hard." He said after a moment. Pat smiled softly, cupping Paul's soft cheeks and pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. 

"Just promise me you'll talk to me about anything that bothers you, Kay? I don't wanna be the only one here feeling sad." Pat said, staring down at his husband. Paul nodded stiffly, giving him a small smile. Pat wasn't stupid, he knew there was something upsetting pau, but he also knew he had to give him time. "Now come on, the moving truck will be here soon." 

Paul stepped back, grabbing an already sealed box and carrying it out to their living room. He just hoped Paul would come to him soon. With a tired sigh, he tapped up the box of photos and followed him. Packing continued without much issues, Patryck sinking back into his own fears. Moving wasn't something new to them, far from it. It's just… Tord was always there with them. His playful comments and sharp-toothed smile always calmed his nerves. Now he was gone, and truth be told Pat was scared to even leave the house. With a quiet sigh, be shoved the last of their belongings into a box. Outside Paul was loading up the truck with two other guys. 

"This is really happening.." He sighed, hugging the box to his chest. No going back now.

_______________

Tom carried a sleepy edd into their now shared apartment, Matt close behind. Today had been an interesting day. He was just glad to be back in the safety of their apartment. As much as Edd wanted to go outside, he clearly wasn't ready. It wasn't much of a surprise. Tom tucked him into bed, sitting down on the foot of the bed.

"I guess we're lucky Edd's job lets him stay inside, right?" Matt said, digging through their closet for something to change into.

"Yeah." Tom agreed. Matt left to go take a shower, Tom still staring at his sleeping lover. God, he really needed a drink. When was the last time he'd even had one? He stood, ruffling Edd's messy locks before exiting their bedroom to pad around the flat. After being cooped up in one room for months on end, it felt great to just walk around. He finally stopped in the kitchen. They, unfortunately, didn't have any Smirnoff, but Tom reasoned it was good not to fall back into that habit again.

Tom settled for a cup of coffee, watching the machine do its thing with mild interest. He found his focus slipping, instead listening to the various sounds of the building. Eduardo stomping around downstairs, someone talking down the hall. A new thing, though, was the shuffling and light conversation coming from the apartment next door. A supposedly empty apartment. He shuffled over to the front door and peaked out. 

"Why are you so surprised? How big did you think an apartment was going to be?" Said a man with fluffy brown hair and a pink hoodie, who was facing away from him. His voice was familiar...

"I don't know, I've never lived in one." Came a voice he knew, and while it came from inside the apartment, he was easily able to picture his face. The man in pink turned at Tom's sudden gasp, but Tom was able to shut the door before he could catch a glimpse.

"Tom, what are you doing?" Matt asked hair dripping wet and a towel wrapped tightly around his waist. 

"We've got some new neighbors." He said calmly, grabbing his now finished coffee and pouring it into a dark blue mug. 

"Really? That's interesting." Matt said, walking off to change. "Have you seen them yet? Maybe we should welcome them to the building." 

"I don't think that's something people do in apartments, Matt." Tom sighed, taking a long sip of his coffee. 

"You never know."

"Matt that's weird, and if I didn't happen to see their faces I'd say no." Matt suddenly appeared next to him, a smile playing his lips.

"So you did see their faces?"

"Yes"

"And we're going over to welcome them to the building?" 

"We're going over to say hi!" Matt just continued to grin. 

"Who are our new neighbors?"

"Paul and Pat." This seemed to whip the grin off his face as he stared in shock for a moment. He smiled again, this one sadder.

"Tord's parents, right?" Tom nodded, using his rapidly cooling coffee as an escape from speaking. Matt sighed, leaning against the counter. "They were alone?" 

"Yeah, he's really gone." They both fell into suffocating silence. Even if Tom had already known, the confirmation that Tord was actually dead still hit hard. "They're gonna set off edd"

"Or vice versa." 

"Yeah. Maybe we should go without Edd. At least then we can prepare them." Tom finished his coffee, setting the mug down into the sink. Matt pressed a kiss to his forehead. 

"Well, come on. Moving isn't easy." Tom allowed himself to be dragged out of their apartment. Both Pau and Pat were now in their flat. "I think they'll be happy to see us." Tom knocked, feeling a smirk tug at his lips. The door opened after a moment, Patryck standing in the doorway.

"Hello, new neighbor!" Tom smiled. Pat only stared in shock, hands moving to cover his mouth. 

"How lucky are we to be flatmates?" Matt said, grasping Tom's hand. Before either of them could react, they were suddenly pulled into a bone-crushing hug.

"Oh my god! I'm so glad you guys are okay." He mumbled, shaking ever so slightly. Tom blinked, slowly wrapping his arms around Pat to return the hug. "I'm so happy to see you guys." 

"Me too! It's so nice to see you again." Matt hummed, Pat finally pulling back. He had tears in his golden eyes, yet he wore a watery smile. "Oh, please don't cry." 

"Sorry, just.. Very happy." He chuckled weakly, rubbing his eyes free of tears. "You guys are like kids to me, It makes me so very happy to know you're okay." 

"You're more like parents than mine are." Matt shrugged. Once he collected himself, Pat stepped aside to allow them to enter. 

"Pau, we have some guests." The man in question exited their bedroom, carrying a cardboard box. He gasped, dropping the box and shattering whatever glass was inside. Scooping up the box, he set it down on the table. "We managed to move right next to them!" 

"Hey, Kiddo's," he said with a weak smile, ruffling Tom's hair. He couldn't help but giggle at the action. "Glad to see you're okay." 

"Don't think Bella would be very happy with us." Pat chuckled, Paul shivering at the mere mention of Tom's mother. Paul grabbed the box and went off the finish whatever task he'd been doing. Matt followed, staying he was going to help.

"No thanks!" Pat chuckled, waving him over to the kitchen. It was still filled with boxes and such, some of them opened. 

"Where is edd?" Pat asked, hopping up on the counter. 

"Sleeping. We tried going out earlier, but he ended up having a panic attack." Tom sighed, leaning next to him. "Everything has been so much harder to deal with than I thought it'd be."

"Yeah. I feel like everything serves as a reminder of him." Pat let his head fall against the cool wall, eyes glossy. Tom bit his tongue. He didn't want to ask, but he had to know. Had to hear it from him.

"He's really gone, huh?" He croaked, feeling a wave of nausea hit him. The broken look he was given was all the answer he needed. Pat held his arms out and Tom was more than happy to bury his face in the male's chest.

"I'm so sorry Tom, I wish things were different." He whispered, holding him close while rocking them gently. Just like Tom's mother would do. Tom could never imagine the pain Pat must've been going through. Losing a lover was one thing, losing a son? Tom couldn't stop the waterfall of tears rolling down his face, soaking into the soft fabric of Pat's sweater. 

"What am I gonna tell Edd? He still believes he's out there." 

"Let him believe for us, it'll make a funny story if he ends up being right." Pat chuckled, his laughter infectious as Tom found himself laughing along with him.

"If he's right I'm gonna punch edd, then I'm gonna punch Tord." Tom closed his eyes, feeling sleep tug at the edge of his mind. "Hey, Pat?" 

"Hmm?"

"You were a great parent. Tord was lucky to have you in his life." Tom hummed, swaying along. Pat sniffled, grip tightening.

"Thank you...I… I needed to hear that." Oh no, he was crying! Tom hugged him back, trying to express his comfort through that hug. Pat pulled back after a few more minutes, cleaning his face. Tom yawned, rubbing his tired eyes. "You should go to sleep, it's getting late and edd might worry if he wakes up all alone."

As if on cue, Matt emerged from the hall. He held his phone to his chest, humming. "Hey, you ready to go?" Nodding, Tom gave Pat one last hug before they finally left for their apartment. 

"What were you and Paul up to?" Tom asked, nearly collapsing on top of edd. Mark kicked off his shoes and crawled into bed, pulling them both closer.

"Mmm, stuff. Let's sleep now, Kay?" Matt drawled, though it made no difference to the Brit in blue, who was already fast asleep.

__________

Resting under thick covers was a man assumed to be dead. He wasn't bothered by these assumptions, as he agreed with them. He'd given his life up and had accepted that as fact. So when the boy awoke, he wasn't entirely convinced he wasn't in hell. After all, he'd been through hell on earth, what's hell in the literal sense. Instead of burning flames and bright red walls, The boy opened his to find himself in a normal-looking bedroom.

The only red was the covers that he lay under, which also happened to be the only source of heat. The walls were a basic white, and from what he could see the floors were hardwood. His breathing began to quicken and tears pricked his eyes. His mind began to run on hyperdrive as he tried to process what was happening. 

He was alive. Somehow he was alive, and in a place, he didn't recognize. He struggled to free himself from his blanket prison, feet meeting the freezing cold floor. It took a lot to convince him to stand from the comfortable bed, and when he did the floor seemed more than happy to be his new home. His legs felt like jelly and gave out almost immediately. Whimpering, he used the nightstand to drag himself into a sitting position. Pain radiated throughout his weak body. Footsteps quickly came towards the door to the room he was in, and two men rushed in. 

"Red leader?"


	25. Chapter 25

No no no no no, how was this possible? He should've been dead. He was shot, burned, beaten, so many awful things had happened there was no way he was alive. His breathing began to quicken, the tears escaping and rolling down his cheeks. One of the men, blonde with blue eyes, carefully approached him. He wore a worried frown on his face, which only added fuel to the fire that was the boy's panic.

"Hey, we're not gonna hurt, I promise. Can you take a deep breath for me?" He said in a soothing tone, kneeling down in front of him. What did they want from him if not to hurt him? Surely they already knew the fate of the red army. Regardless, he obeyed his command, mostly out of fear they'd change their mind and hurt him. 

The blonde helped him back into bed, patting his shoulder once he was comfortably under the covers. The other male joined him, sitting on the foot of his bed, eyes running up and down his injured side. The normal feeling of pride he'd feel from being the center of attention was replaced by unease and fear. 

"Glad to see you're awake. You had us really worried, Red Leader." He said, and the title alone had his gut twisting in discomfort. No... He wasn't the Red Leader anymore, and there was no red Army. 

"Tord" he croaked, words barely understandable. His throat was so dry from lack of use. 

"What?" The blond asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"Call me tord." He clarified before he fell into a coughing fit, gripping his chest as pain radiates throughout his frail body. He was left gasping for air when it stopped, wanting nothing more than to sleep again. Maybe some water too.

"Are you alright?" Tord gave a tired nod, allowing his hands to fall back down. "Hmm, I'll get you some water. Oh, and I'm Yuu by the way." The blond male, now named Yuu, got up and left the bedroom to supposedly grab a cup of water. Tord turned his attention back to the man at the foot of his bed, patiently waiting for him to speak.

"Well, I'm Yanov. We found you at the base and decided to save you. We have experience, so don't worry too much about that." Yanov explained, but that wasn't what Tord was panicking about. He was supposed to be dead, he'd accepted that he'd go down with the red army. Yet he was alive… Did anyone else know he survived? What if his parents were off miserable by the death he never actually met?

Tord kept his mouth firmly shut. For reasons, he couldn't explain, the thought of speaking had his gut twisting. Yuu returned with a water bottle, holding it out for tord to take. His hand shook as he grabbed it, gasping at how cold it was. Tord fiddled with the cap, only now realizing he couldn't move his right arm. Now he was getting flashbacks to getting nailed up. Not being able to move, pain, so much blood. He held up the bottle quietly, tears welling up in his eyes. Yuu raised an eyebrow, taking the water bottle and opening it for him. Yanov turned to Yuu, silently speaking with only their eyes.

"Is your arm okay?" Yanov asked, very gingerly grabbing his right arm. Tord shook his head, biting his lip to keep from whimpering. "Can you move it?" Another shake of his head, Tord drinking the water to distract himself. He almost forgot just how thirsty he was.

"Hmm, I'm guessing arm movement and walking are our current struggles." Yuu sighed, grabbing a clipboard and pen from the dresser across the room. Yanov pressed a kiss to his temple before getting up and leaving the room. Yuu sat crossed legged at the end of the bed, scribbling something on his notepad. Tord really, _really,_ didn't want to talk.

"Alright Tord, are you willing to talk to me about something?" Yuu asked in a very professional manner. Not knowing what else to do, Tord simply made an X over his mouth with his fingers. Yuu raised an eyebrow and Tord sighed. He pointed to the clipboard, and once it was given to him, he wrote a short and simple message. 

'I don't feel comfortable talking, can I write or sign instead?' Yuu read it over before smiling and writing something down. "Of course tord, whatever you're okay with. I know a little bit of sign language, so we can work with that, okay?"

Tord nodded. 'Thank you'

________

The soft thump of Tom's checkered vans was the only sound in this seemingly empty building. The halls were clean, and from looks alone, there seemed to be absolutely nothing wrong. Even still, it couldn't shake the uneasy feeling coursing through his body. He came to a door, disappointed when it turned out to be locked. 

"Damn it." Tom huffed, moving on down the hall and trying the other doors he passed. All were locked. "What are you keeping me from seeing?" He asked no one, kicking the ground in frustration. His legs were starting to get sore, and after turning yet another hall to find himself in a wide room, Tom decided that taking a rest wasn't such a bad idea. He found a nice corner and pressed his back against it. 

His legs felt like jelly and he couldn't begin to tell you how long he'd been in this place. Every hall looked the same, and the artificial lights were giving him a killer headache. He closed his eyes, letting his head fall back and rest against the cool wall. He stayed like that for what felt like hours before a distant scream filled the air. 

Tord’s screams.

Forgetting any previous tiredness, Tom pushed himself to his feet and took off in the direction the sounds were coming from. He realized now where he was. The Black Army base. Finally, he arrived at a door much different, the contrast from bright white to rusted silver. Eerily the screams stopped the moment his hand touched the bloodstained handle.

As he pushed the door open and stepped into the room, he felt all the air leave his lungs as his eyes landed on the slumped figure chained in the middle of the room. Caramel colored hair matted and dirty fell over his bruised face, blood seeming to cover everything. 

"T-tord?" Tom stammered, suddenly finding it impossible to move as Tord's ice gaze met his own.

"You…" he drawled in a gravelly voice, thick crimson spilling past his lips. "You let them hurt me… kill me and everything...I worked for. You hurt me… Shot me down and didn't even come to save me! You didn't care if I died you monster!" he growled, the chains falling off one by one until he was free to stand up. He glided over to Tom with terrifying smoothness. 

"I... I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." He croaked, tears welling up with tears in his eyes. He couldn't move, and the feeling of dread was becoming overwhelming. Tord's eyes were cold and empty, his equally cold hand coming up to gently cup his face. The gentle hold turned painful as he pulled back and slapped him, drawing a short gasp from the Brit. 

"Sorry...won't...fix me." He wheezed as if the action in itself was taking all of his energy. He grabbed Tom by his throat with surprising strength, lifting him off the ground and slamming him against the wall, a snarl tugging as his lips. He started to scream, causing Tom's ears to ring. "You watched them kill me! You didn't do anything! You moved on with your life as if nothing happened!"

"I didn't want them to! I miss you… So… much" he squeaked, his head spinning from lack of oxygen. He was slammed against the wall, stars exploding behind his eyes. "Please…. Please Tord." He begged, black dotting his vision. He was thrown to the ground, the room changing to be the same holding he watched tord die in. Paul and Patryck stood a few feet away, tears streaming down their faces. 

"You… hurt him?" Patryck sounded so utterly broken, clutching his chest. Tom couldn't bear to face him. "You hurt my baby! How could you? I thought you loved him?" 

"I do… I didn't want…" Tom squeezed his eyes shut tightly. Footsteps quickly approached him, and he was roughly pulled up by the fount of his hoodie. He looked up to find a furious Paul.

"We trusted you!" He screamed, shaking him roughly. "You promised you'd protect him when we couldn't! Now I find out you helped kill him?"

"I didn't want to! They promised it would free us. I wanted to go home."

"So you were willing to hurt him? You would hurt Tord so you could go home?" Patryck frowned, rubbing away his tears. It didn't help though, as he only cried harder. He was thrown to the ground once more. "Selfish!" 

They screamed over and over, the ringing in his ears deafening. He begged them to stop, he couldn't take it anymore. Tord appeared in front of him once more. The floor underneath him disappeared, and three sets of hands pushed him down into the endless void.

________

Tom shot up in bed, panting as he could still faintly hear the ringing. Matt and Edd were on either side of him, worried looks on their faces. Sobs slipped past his trembling lips as he covered his face to hide. He was horrible, wasn't he? 

"Tom? Hey, what's wrong?" Edd asked, grabbing his wrists, and gently prying his hands away from his face. Tom shook his head, wanting to hide again. He didn't want them to look at him like this. 

"I didn't want to. I'm sorry, so sorry." He gasped, closing his eyes tightly. Matt pulled the smaller male into his lap, Edd hugging him from the back.

"Shh, it was just a dream. You don't have to be sorry for anything." Matt soothed, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. Tom shook his head. Why didn't they understand? 

"I hurt him, I couldn't do anything to save him. I never even got to say sorry." 

"Tom, it is not your fault and you know it. It's their fault." Edd said, leaning over to face tom. 

"It is! It's all my fault! I shot him down, I hurt him, and got him kidnapped. I hurt him just so we could go home. He hates me." He sobbed, feeling Edd pulled away. 

"You what…?" 

"Please don't be mad, we didn't have a choice," Matt admitted, hiding his face in Tom's face. Edd pulled away fully, and Tom could just feel the anger.

"You… Hurt Tord… What is wrong with you? You hurt our boyfriend!" Edd gasped. Tom felt like he was back in the room, everyone screaming at him. The ringing was louder than ever, and Tom didn't even realize he was screaming.

"I'M SORRY! I'M SO SORRY. I'D TAKE IT BACK IF I COULD BUT I CAN'T AND NOW HE'S GONE. I'M SORRY!" he could breathe, he couldn't hear, everything was too loud he felt he was drowning. He was being dragged deeper and deeper into the ocean that was his emotions. Every time he got close to the surface an even bigger wave just shoved him back down. His fingers tugged at his hair, trying desperately to ground himself.

His mouth was suddenly filled with freezing cold, drawing all of his attention to the sudden and new sensation. He blinked, looking down to find himself now settled on the kitchen floor, which was also very cold to his exposed feet. He realized after a moment he had an ice cube in his mouth. What?

"Tom?" His head jerked up to find Patryck of all people. He wore an expression Tom just couldn't seem to read. "Oh good, you're responding! I knew that'd work." He sighed, standing up and gesturing for Edd and Matt to take over.

"What… happened?" He said around the ice cube, it was already half-way melted. 

"You had a panic attack and locked up," Edd said, sitting down on the tiles next to tom. Tom lowered his head in shame. 

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry." He whispered, drawing his knees to his chest. Edd pulled him to his chest, resting his chin atop his messy head of hair.

"Me too. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. I love you, and know you loved him the most." Edd soothed, which was surprising, to say the least.

"You don't hate me?" 

"What? Of course not, Tom, I could never hate you." Edd gasped, hugging him even tighter. 

"We don't hate you either, Tom. It may take us some time to forgive you, but you're still a son to us." Pat said comfortingly. Tom felt even more tears fill his eyes, this time though, they were tears of happiness.


	26. Chapter 26

Fuck fuck fuck he really fucked up. Paul was currently locked in their guest room. He was trying really hard, but it was so much harder than he thought. You never know how much someone needs physical touch until that same touch scares the shit out of you. Patryck needed that touch, to know he was still there. Pau couldn't help the flinching, or how he'd randomly start hyperventilating, or the wide-eyed stare he'd sometimes give. Patryck was understanding, assuming he was still a little jumpy from all that happened. Assumed he was tortured like Tord. It wasn't even just the touching or the cuddling because slowly he almost felt like he was getting better. He was! 

Then today happened. He thought he was ready, Pat wanted to do more than soft kisses on the lips. Paul agreed, because of course, he did. Pat kissed him, holding him close. Alarm bells rang in his head, and he felt himself locking up, allowing pat to take control for once. He felt gross and awful as Patryck held him by his waist, deepening the kiss. He thought he was ready, he thought he could push through and give pat what he wanted. He thought wrong. 

His snapping point was hands sliding up his shirt mixed with a mouth on his neck. He hated it, hated the feeling because for a moment it wasn't Patryck standing above him, and all the fear he'd bottled up overflowed. He needed out, he needed away from him. Pau didn't mean to start sobbing or to roughly push pat away. He didn't mean to scream at pat, that 'get away from me!' wasn't for him. 

"Pau? What's wrong, did i do something wrong? Why are you crying?" Patryck had stared at him with such hurt and confusion in his eyes it was overwhelming. Pau shook his head, unable to even form a sentence because he was breaking down and sobbing in front of pat, and how was he possibly supposed to explain away this one? Simple, he didn't. He rushed to their guest room and huddled on the floor, listening to Patryck's pleading voice from outside the door. 

"What did I do? Please, I didn't mean to make you cry. Did I hurt you? Please talk to me," Paul didn't want him to blame himself, because it wasn't Pat's fault. It was his. He should have known he wasn't ready for that, should have set his boundaries. He should have told Pat in the first place.

"Please don't lock me out, we're supposed to be in this together." 

He heard Pat leave the apartment shortly after, where to? He didn't know. What the hell was he supposed to do now? How was he going to explain all that happened to him? He felt his body twitch and jerk as he was forced to recall his moments with Tyler. He felt gross and dirty, and his skin seemed so unclean. He needed to be clean. He pulled himself from the floor, entering the bathroom. Even still, the thought of Tyler never leaving his mind, the phantom touches ghosting his skin. His hands running up and down his chest, fingers stuffed in his mouth while Tyler's lapped at his neck, leaving love bites and hickeys on the expansion of his pale skin. 

"Tyler.." he cried, feeling shame and an ever-growing feeling of dirtiness on his skin. He did NOT just moan of His name, Nope, no, no, no. Closing his eyes tightly, he undressed and stepped into the shower, turning the water to almost scalding. He scrubbed his skin harshly, trying desperately to rid himself of a feeling that wouldn't go away no matter how hard he rubbed. His skin grew red and irritated from the rough treatment. 

Paul finally stopped, panting and whimpering as the hot water hit his skin like needles. He stood there for just a few moments longer before he finally stepped out, drying himself off and rushing to their room to tug on some clothes. He shivered, hugging himself. Wearing Pat's warm yellow hoodie always made him feel safe. It fell to his mid-thighs. He shuffled into the living room and curled up on the couch. It wasn't long before Pat walked through the door, staring at his husband. "Are you… okay now?"

"Yeah…" Pau said, snuggling into his hoodie. "I'm sorry, I reacted like that, I didn't mean to push you away like. I can try again." He couldn't fail to please him, he had to do whatever he wished. Wasn't that all he was good for?

"Pau you don't have to apologize, I just wanna know what I did wrong to make you react like that. I never wanna hurt you. If you don't want to do it, I won't force you to try" Pat said, sitting down next to Paul with worried eyes. Paul kept his eyes on the floor. He took a deep breath, feeling fear in him once more. He didn't wanna…

"You didn't do anything wrong, I promise. It's not your fault, it's mine." Pau said, sitting up so he could face his husband. Pat frowned at this and cupped his face. There was that familiar spike of fear, his stomach knotting and he knew pat could see the uneasy look on his face. He crawled onto Pat's lap, forcing a smile on his face. "I promise, I'm okay. Do you still wanna try?" 

"Paul, i…" he watched the gears spin in his head, heat rose to his face as he raked over Paul's vulnerable frame. No doubt the idea of finally topping was exciting to him. Sighing, he shook his head to get back on task. "Please. I know you're lying, I know you're hurting just as much as I am. You don't have to pretend for me, you know that. Don't you?" Pat moved him back onto the couch. Paul felt the damn break, tears cascading down his face.

"You don't understand! I do this all for you, so you'll be safe and happy! Everything i went through was so you didn't get hurt, i do this so you don't have to shoulder my dumb problems. Why can't you let me do this for you?" He cried, hiding his face in the yellow hoodie. Stop it, he was making him worry, he fucked everything up again! Pat wouldn't want such a screw up in his life who couldn't even pleasure him right! His one and only fucking use to make him feel good and he failed! Whore! slut! Stupid fucking waste of space! That's all he would ever amount to!

"Paul!" He was snapped out of his thoughts, teary eyes staring into Pats. "You did not fail me, and I'm gonna leave you because you don't want to have sex with me. You are so much more to me than that, so why can't you see how much I love and care about you? I can't stand to see you deal with all of my problems and yours." shit, had he said that out loud? His face heated up, and he gasped softly as pat pressed their foreheads together. "Please, nothing would make me happier than to make you feel safe."

"Pat.." here goes nothing. "You're scaring me, please back up. I'll tell you everything, but i need space first." In an instant, Pat was sitting a bit aways, looking horrified by his actions, yet still, he smiled softly.

"S-see? It's not as hard as you think." Pat said shakily, sitting cross-legged in front of him. He held his hands to his chest, a guilty look on his face.

"Listen, I'm not ready to get into the details but i…. I'm scared of being touched. It brings up bad memories." He admitted, watching him for his reaction. He knew pat, knew how much he loved and cared about him. So when he gasped, scooting back to give Paul his space and started to apologize profusely for earlier that day, he really shouldn't have been surprised. Yet he was.

"Oh Paul, you should have told me. I've been so touch dependent these past few weeks and you… you just… Why'd you agree to do that? Even after I came back you still were ready to… I don't know, make out? Even though you were scared?"

"It's all I'm good for, to be a good for nothing whore at your disposal. It doesn't matter what I want, as long as you get off." it came out before he could even think to stop it. He covered his mouth as he watched the horror cross pat's face at those words. "I.. I'm so sorry, please forget I said that."

"Pau," Pat started slowly, voice a lot softer than he thought he would be. "You… you know that isn't true, right? You are not just some plaything. You're Paul ter vorder, a wonderful, kind, and respectful friend and husband. I love you, I love everything about you. Your smile, your laugh, the look in your eyes when you're excited about something, how cute you look swallowed up by my hoodie." At this paul blushed, hiding his face with an embarrassed giggle. "You care so much about me and make me feel so loved, please please, please let me return the favor."

"I… okay. Let's take things slow though." Paul said, poking his head out to give him a wobbly smile. Pat nodded. "I think… It's best if i sleep in the guest room for a while. If you have a nightmare I'll be here for you."

"I love you pau,"

"I love you too," Yawning, pau rubbed his eyes. "I think I'm gonna take a nap, thanks... For understanding."

"Of course pau," Pat smiled as he got up and walked to the guest room. Curling up under the blankets, Paul smiled to himself. 

____________

Tord leaned on Yanov as they made their way into the kitchen. Over the past few weeks his walking had improved, meaning he could walk to his bathroom and Yuu's room with only a little difficulty. Anywhere else he needed help sadly, but it was better than nothing. He sat down at the table, Yuu cooking breakfast. 

"Glad to see you're awake, Tord." Yuu said, handing him a glass of water and his meds. Tord shakily grabbed both items. Not everything had improved for him. There were still struggles he faced everyday. Like using his right arm, and finding the will to talk. The worst, though, was his overwhelming fears and guilt. He felt so guilty for everything. He killed almost his entire army with the idea he'd go down with them. 

Now he was here. So many people were dead, and everyone he cared about was mourning the death he never suffered. He knew the right thing to do was to track them down and let them know he was alive. Okay. But he couldn't bring himself to even send a text. He was so scared to face them again after so long. After all it was his was the reason they were kidnapped for 4 months. 

"Tord?" Looking up, he realized he'd been spaced out for quite some time. There was already a plate of food in front of him, and both his caretakers sat in at the table. "Are you okay? I called your name 3 times." 

'Sorry. Thinking.' He signed, grabbing his fork and stuffing his mouth full of food. He couldn't talk if his hands and mouth were busy, right?

"We can talk after breakfast if you need to." Yuu said, eating his own breakfast. Nodding, Tord slipped back into his thoughts. He wondered how they were dealing with his loss. Were they crying and mourning every day? Did they think of all the ways they could have prevented this? Or did they move on already? Did they find someone better and forget all about poor little Tord?

The next few hours passed in a blur, and before Tord knew it he was curled up on a beanbag chair in Yuu's makeshift office. "Hey Tord, you with me?" He nodded. "Wanna talk yet?"

'I've been thinking about them. Papa, Dad, Edd, Matt, and Tom. All of them are probably sad over me. Think I'm dead. I want to let them know I'm still alive, but I'm scared.' He signed, sinking into his hoodie to hide his face. 

"What are you scared of?"

'I don't know.' Tord sighed softly to himself, thinking of all the overwhelming feelings that would come from that. He couldn't handle all that right now.

"Hey, It's almost Christmas! Why don't you send them a present and a letter? That gives you about a month to work out your feelings and us a month to find their address." Yuu suggested. Tord thought for a moment. Yeah… that could work! He nodded, yawning. 

'I can do that!' 

"Perfect! Now, let's get you some sleep!" Yuu helped the Norwegian back to his room, handing him a snack to hold him over. Now… to find the perfect present for his family.

____________

Pat sighed, sprawled out on Tom's couch. Tom gave him a sympathetic smile. He hated to dump all of this onto Tom, but he really needed to talk to someone about this. He didn't know how to help Paul, hell, he'd never even heard of that fear. 

"I feel so bad!" He sighed, tugging on his hoodie sleeve. He'd traumatize his husband because of his stupid urges. "I didn't want to scare him." 

"It's not your fault. He chose not to tell you, and you can't get mad at yourself for that." Tom said, taking a sip of his coffee. While he was right, Pat couldn't help but feel guilty. He tried to push them both outside of their comfort zone and look where that got him.

"This is so much harder than I thought. I don't know how to help him, and I know he's not a fan of doctors." 

"Maybe an emotional support animal? Ringo is a really big help for Edd whenever me and Matt have to go to work." Tom suggested, silently adding a shot of vodka to his mug. Vodka sounded really good right now. Matt entered the living room, looking confused when he saw a distressed Pat on his sofa.

"Hey Pat, what's going on?" Matt asked, sitting down on the other couch. Patryck sighed, sitting up and leaning back into the couch. 

"Paul's afraid of touch." Pat said, but Matt gave an unexpected response.

"Oh? He finally told you?"

"What… what do you mean finally?" Tom furrowed his brow, staring at his boyfriend who visibly paled.

"He told you?" Pat gasped.

"I um… well I figured out what happened to him a while ago.. And when you first moved in, pau opened up to me about it." Matt chuckled nervously, looking anywhere but them.

"You knew? You knew, and you didn't tell me?"

"Or us?," 

"He didn't want me to, said he had to do this by himself." Matt mumbled, scared to upset Patryck.

"I don't care! Paul will dig himself in a hole of pain if it made me happy before he'd ever open his damn mouth! I've been hurting him for weeks, Matt." Pat broke down in tears, hiding his face in his hands while he shook. "We're supposed to get better together…"

"Oh Pat, I'm so sorry. I didn't want to hurt anyone, I just wanted him to tell you." Matt frowned, moving closer and setting his hand on Pat's shoulder. Two teary yellow eyes peeked out at him, filled only with guilt and sadness.

"Don't worry about it. What's done is done." Pat opened his arms for a hug, and Matt gladly accepted the invitation. He hated crying, and even more so in front of people, but it felt… nice. Tom joined in, resting his head atop Pat's head and calmly playing with his hair. 

"Hey, you know he doesn't hate you for this. Things will get better, and he'll learn to get over his fears."

"And what if he doesn't?"

"Then you'll learn to work around it." Tom said, closing his eyes tiredly. Pat just hummed, pulling his remaining children closer. They were all he had left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The passage of time in this fic is questionable at best.
> 
> Thank you so much for 2k reads, it means a lot to me. You know what else means a lot to me? Feed back!


	27. Chapter 27

Patryck smiled to himself, the change his hand swinging ever so slightly. It was a good distraction from the fear he felt every time he left their apartment. Paul was at home as per usual, slowly recovering from that night. The nightmares had gotten worse and it killed Patryck to know he could do nothing to help him. Things would be different now. That talk with Tom and Matt really helped clear things up for him and after a few weeks of looking around and talking to Paul about it, he finally got it. He arrived at their building and stepped onto the elevator. As he reached his floor, he could hardly believe who he saw standing at the end of the hall, quietly chatting among themselves. 

"Yuu? Yanov?" He gaped, taking a few trembling steps towards them. The two turned to him, eyes wide as they seemed to go through the same shock he had. 

"Patryck?" Yuu mumbled, closing the distance between them and pulling him into a bone-crushing hug. "Oh god, I thought you were gone! What even happened? We came back to the base and it was nothing but blood and bodies." 

"I… i don't know. The black army finally snapped and found us. Im sorry. I'm sorry for not being there to protect you, I'm so sorry," Patryck choked out, feeling tears fill his eyes. It was so stupid, to be crying like this over just seeing some of his soldiers. 

"Hey, Patryck. It's not your fault, and we know that." Yanov soothed him, rubbing his back comfortingly. Pat siffled and rubbed his eyes, setting down the cage so he wouldn't disturb the inhabitant. 

"Heh, storey about that. Didn't mean to get so emotional in front of you." He chuckled weakly, tugging his hoodie sleeves lower. He wasn't trying to hide anything, he just needed something to do with his hands.

"It's fine, seriously. We're just as happy to see you too. We missed you guys so much, and were worried you guys died with everyone else." Yuu said hurriedly, scared that Patryck would start to cry again. Instead he just smiled softly.

"I'm…. Oh dear, I really need to stop apologizing!" He laughed, covering his mouth in embarrassment. They smiled happily at this. "How are you? Are you handling the transition?"

"We're doing well enough. Had to pick up a new job just to keep our bills paid, but it's fine." Yuu said with a chuckle. 

"But how are you? I can't imagine what you and Paul have gone through!" Yanov asked, a small worried smile on his face. 

"Oh. Haha, It's been a nightmare. We had to move, developed news fears and survivors guilt is never easy to handle. It's… It's hard, not even gonna lie, but we're getting better. That's what's important, right?" He looked on the verge of breaking down once more.

"Yeah! You're OK, and you're trying your best to be better!" Yuu smiled, patting his shoulder. Patryck nodded, brushing away the tears that had gathered in his eyes. A chirping noise sounded from the carrier on the floor.

"Oh. I really should bring this little guy in and get him settled. Me and Paul are apartment 406, stop by anytime." Patrick squeezed, grabbing his carrier and rushing back to his appartment. As entered to find Paul laying on the couch, stareing into nothingness, remaining silver eye hazy. 

He didn't react to Patryck beyond his eyes moving to track him. With a smile, he moved over to his husband, sitting down on the floor in front of him. It paind him to see him so dead behind the eyes. 

"Hey Paul, are you doing OK?" 

"I had another nightmare."

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No."

"Do you wanna see what I got you?" Finally he moved, sitting up to filly look at Patrhck and the pet carrier he had next to him. 

"A dog?" He asked, excited at the prospect of a pet. He'd been craving comfort despite his fear. A pet would be able to comfort him without the bothersome feeling of human touch. 

"Not exactly." Patryck chuckled, opening the door and carefuly removing the animal I side. A yellow and oick lovebird. A small, barely audible, gasp escaped pauls lips as he saw what was right it front of him. "Wanna hold him?" 

"Y-yeah." He mumbled, holding out his finger, grinning when the brightly colored bird hopped on, turning its head to the side cutly. "Hi there Buddy." 

"I remember how much you liked birds, and Tom suggested a emotional support animal, so I figured wthis would be perfect." 

"I…" he could see the light returning full force in his eye, a watery smile forming on his face. "Thank you, Patryck. I love him." 

"So, what are you gonna name him?" 

"Hmmm, how about Chip!?" 

"He's your bird. But yes, I think chip is a great name." Patrick watched from the floor as Paul quietly bonded with his new pet. Ir was adorable, and he finally seemed happy. 

Patryck would do anything to see him that happy.

——————

Tord found himself sprawled out on his bed, scribbling away in his notebook. He needed to find the perfect gift for them. Money was limited, so the gift couldn't be too expensive, and he didn't want to get them anything cheap when this would be the first bit of contact in months. So what? Maybe something handmade? Yeah, that sounded nice. He wrote down a few items, chewing on the end of his pencil

Sweatshirts [customized?]

Sketch book[edd]

Nail polish[matt]

Neckless[Pat]

As much as he thought, he couldn't come up with anything for Paul or Tom. With a tired huff, he dropped the pencil and rested his head in his head. Was this even a good idea? A gift and a letter after months of being missing? What would he even write? 'Hey, I'm not actually dead I'm just too scared to let you know, sorry for all the pain?' AGH! He rolled onto his back, tears gathering in his eyes. His voice caught in his throat, and he failed to hold in a quiet sob. Oh, what was the point of it all? It wasn't like they'd want anything to do with him after all the trauma he put them through. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught something blue bobbing up and down. Turning, Tord was not expecting to find a blue-tinted ghost floating next to his bed.

Tord let out a muted scream, flailing and falling out of his bed. Fear filled his body as his wide eyes locked onto the ghost. Oh god, were they here to kill him? What did he do to deserve this? 'What haven't you done?' his mind whispered. The ghost seemed shocked, backing up slightly.

"You can see me?" He asked, looking just as fearful as tord. 'Of course, he's scared of you, your face is so unsightly' he nodded, squeezing his eyes shut as his thoughts screamed.

"Why are you crying? Aren't you supposed to be a scary military leader trying to take over the world?" His voice was soft and curious, and he wasn't antagonizing tord. He sounded genuinely curious like that's just how he saw the Norsk. He shook his head, wrapping his arms around his shaking frame. Deep breaths. Just like Yuu taught him. "Do you remember me?' He shook his head, climbing back onto his bed.

"I'm Jon, I live right next door. You shot me with your rocket." He saw Jon's eyes darken at this, and he got closer to tord. It wasn't like tord could even touch him in this state. Tord looked down at his bed, feeling guilt filling him. Why was he such a fuck up? "You're the one who took Edd, Matt, and Tom, right? I can tell duardy abo-"

"No! Please please no!" He croaked, his throat hurting from not using his voice for so long. "I didn't, I swear. You can't tell anyone I'm here."

"Why? Are you planning something? Are you going to hurt them?" Tord was going to be sick if this kept up. He opened his mouth to speak, but a wave of dread and sickness kept any words from leaving him. He shook his head, hiding his face and wishing the blue ghost would leave. "Please stop crying! I didn't know you felt so strongly about them." He shakily grabbed his pen and book and scribbled a short message for Jon to read.

'I love them more than anything. Im sorry,' 

"Why are you writing now?"

'Selectively mute' Jon pursed his lips. 'I spoke because you needed to hear me. No one can know I'm here yet. I need time to recover.'

"Did you get taken too?" Tord nodded sadly, staring at the life he took. "I'm so sorry for accusing you like that. I… i don't trust you yet, but i hope I'll learn too soon." With that Jon phased through the wall and tord was alone once again. How strange. Tord stared back down at his notebook, flipping back to the correct page

He had to do this! 

_____

It was supposed to be a normal day. Paul was doing some last-minute Christmas shopping, nothing out of the ordinary for this time of the year. The first sprinkle of snow was falling, coating everything in a thin layer of white. A smile crossed his face. 'Maybe this year we'll have snow for Christmas.' Paul was so happy, He was getting better, Patryck was happy. Everything was going greatly. 

  
  


Until it wasn't. 

He didn't even know how it happened, but in a flurry of events he couldn't even begin to comprehend, Paul found himself pressed against the rough wall of an alleyway. Dark green eyes that haunted his nightmare peered down on him, a British voice chilling him to the very bone. 

"Well what do we have here. I thought I'd never get to see you again, how lucky am I?" He grinned, cupping his face and leaning just a bit too close. His heartbeat heavily against his chest

"What do you want from me…? We gave you wanted, why are you still terrorizing me?" Paul mumbled, feeling his breathing quicken. He wanted out. He  _ needed _ out. The man just chuckled, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to his lips.

"What do I want? You, Pauly. You were so much fun to play with. Don't you agree?" He kissed him again, filling him with that familiar sense of disgust and wrongness. 

"No! Please, please stop. I just wanna go home. Tyler please….." He gasped out, pushing against him to get him away. Hands squeezed his waist, pulling him up off the ground and slamming him against the wall, lips against his neck in an instance. Tyler left Hickey's up his neck, sending jolts of pleasure and disgust through him. He couldn't stop the whimpers and moans that slipped from his lips.

"You're mine. All mine. It's been quite awhile since I've fucked you without the collar." Tyler hummed, kissing him once more before finally leaning back. Paul felt like he was going to be sick. Things were supposed to be better. He was supposed to be better. "As much as I would love to fuck you right this second, its truly uncomfortable and dirty. Why don't we go back to the base?"

"No! Please god, I can't go back! I can't!"

"Don't you remember anything from our time together?" Tyler said, hand finding its way around his neck. "You're a slut. You enjoy the things I did to you, you damn well know it. It's all you're good for anyways, to sit there and take it. You do it so well anyways."

Tears dripped down his face as his vision was spotted with black spots and his mind was tainted with such words. He could hardly fight as he was dragged out of the alleyway and shoved into the back seat of a car. He was going to die like this. Never to be seen again as he was dragged off to the middle of fucking nowhere. Poor Patryck. He was going to be all alone.

"Paul…." He curled up and plugged his ears. He didn't want to hear a single word this fucker had to say. He never wanted to hear his voice again.

"Paul!" Shut up shut up shut up! He started to cry harder. Hands grabbed him and tugged him up. He began to thrash in his hold, wanting nothing more than to get far away from him.

"PAUL!" 

With a gasp, Paul shot up in his bed. His breathing was ragged as his remaining silver eyes frantically scanned the room. "Paul! Hey, look at me alright." Turning quick enough to give him whiplash, he felt an immense amount of relief when he saw Patryck. His golden eyes were wide with worry. "It's just a nightmare. It's alright."

"P-patryck…?" He whimpered, blinking away the tears. Pat nodded, giving a soft smile. It made him feel even worse for the disgusting dream he had. Tyler was right, he did enjoy it, even if it wasn't his choice. He was still having nightmares about him! Gross. He was gross. He didn't deserve pat. He didn't deserve anything.

"Hey! Hey!" He blinked, looking down to find Chip sitting in his lap, softly repeating hey to calm him. It warmed his heart, and he picked up his Bird and held it. "Okay! It's okay!" Yeah… it's okay. He was okay.

"Thank you, Chip. Thank you Patryck." He mumbled, smiling faintly. Patryck hummed, smiling brightly. Calmness washed over him as the last of his panic faded. "Sorry if I woke you up."

"It's fine. I wasn't asleep anyways. Even if I was, you're more important to me. Do you wanna talk about it?" Paul opened his mouth to refuse, but paused. Would talking about his problem help? Would Patryck judge him? Throw him out? Would he comfort him and tell him it wasn't his fault?

"C-can you…. Can you hold my hand?" He stammered, carefully setting Chip on his shoulder. Patryck nodded, holding his hand out patiently. With a deep breath, Paul intertwined their fingers, shaking only slightly.

"Are you okay with this?"

"Y-yeah. This is actually… really nice." He closed his eyes, squeezing his hand. "So the reason I have a fear of touch is because… Because I was raped. A-and I saw him, and he started to harass me. He wouldn't stop. He called me awful things and touched me. He tried to take me away from you, but then I woke up." He finished, even more tears flowing down his face.

"That…" Turning, he nearly fell over in fear from the dark look on Patryck''s face. 

"Patryck? What's with that face? Are you mad at me?" He whimpered, feeling Chip nuzzle his cheek. 

"What? Oh no, I'm not mad at you at all Paul. I'm mad at that man for doing such a horrible thing for you." Patryck said quickly. He squeezed Paul's hand to make his point. "I love you, and I'd never be upset at you for being taken advantage of."

"It- it was awful! He used some kind of device to control me so I couldn't fight. It forced me to enjoy it, to say and do things against my will. I hated it! I hate that I still dream about him. I hate that I can still feel his touch. I hate myself because of him!" He hiccuped, bowing his head to hide his face. He felt so shameful admitting it. The bed shifted as Patryck moved a bit closer, and Paul couldn't help but flinch. 

"I'm sorry, am I too close?"

"No, It's fine I just-" Paul suddenly launched himself at pat's chest. Patryck gasped, before softening and wrapping his arms around him. He was scared to upset Paul further, so he did his best to comfort him. 

"Shh, it's okay. You're okay. I'm not mad at you for any reason, and I'll never blame you for that." Patryck mumbled softly, chuckling as Chip fluttering to sit on top of Paul's head of hair. "I'll never let him hurt you again." 

Paul felt so much better like this, and for just a moment he forgot all about his fear. All he could think about was melting into Patrycks warm embrace, Chip sitting on top of his head, and listening to his soothing voice. Slowly, his sobs quieted. He pushed away from Patryck, scrubbing his face clear of tears.

"Do you wanna stay awake and watch movies?" 

Paul nodded, his smile widening. "And open a present early?" 

"Yea, and open a present early.'

____________

"It's fine, they're gonna love it." Jon said, floating over Tord as he finished wrapping the last present; a to and from sticker pressed onto the paper with his notable chicken scratch stating which present was for who. He left his name off the present.

'Are you sure?' He signed, worry evident on his face. Jon nodded, phasing through his body to look at the last two gifts that hadn't yet been boxed and wrapped.

"I think they'll be happy with whatever you give them, because it's from you." Jon grinned, turning around to boop his nose. Even if he couldn't feel it, Tord still giggled at the action. He smiled, picking up the two picture frames and putting them in their respective games. Wrapping presents was such a calming experience, the solid color pretty to him.

When he was done, he stacked all of them at the foot of his bed. 'The sun is starting to rise, you should go back now. Tell me how they react though, okay?" Jon nodded, floating through the floor and disappearing. Tord curled up in bed, letting the images of his lovers carry him to sleep.

_______

Edd hummed as he finished up the last batch of cookies. They didn't have a lot of room this year for Christmas decorations. Even still, a small get together with presents, food, and a fairly small tree. Tom decided to put up with it this year, though he refused to put on a Christmas sweater like the rest of them. 

Patryck and Paul entered the apartment, Matt cooing over Chip. Platting the cookies, Edd walked into the living room and set it down on the coffee table. He was surprised to see a stack of wrapped presents by the couch. 

"Hi, Edd." Patryck grinned upon seeing him. Edd ginned sitting down on the floor and taking a cookie for himself. He pointed to the presents curiously. "Oh, we don't quite know. They were just in front of our door and addressed to all of us."

"Could it be the black army?" Matt mumbled in a worried tone.

"I hope not!" Paul mumbled, chip fluttering over to comfort his owner. 

"I doubt they'd send us Christmas gifts." Patryck grabbed a box labeled with his name. Edd grabbed on with solid pastel green paper. He couldn't help but notice that the writing on the gift was remarkably recognisable. Tords. 

"Should we…. Can we open them?" He asked. Pat nodded mutely, and he must have noticed it too. Edd opened the gift carefully, sucking In a deep breath upon seeing a letter written in the same hand-writing. 

'Dear Edd

Merry Christmas, my love. I know It's been a while. I hope you have not been sad without me there. I wish I could hold you once more, and I can't wait until we meet again. I hope when I'm ready to face you all again, you'll accept me. Until then, please take this gift and know I'm thinking about you. 

Love, Tord larsøn.'

He held it away from his face as not to ruin it with his tears. He was right! Tord really was alive! He pulled out the sketch book and light green sweater. It had a 'E' stitched into the front. Tears fell faster as he clutched the sweat closer. 

"Oh… oh my god!" Tom sobbed, and Edd quickly turned to see him clutching a picture frame to his chest. Edd crawled over to see what he was so shocked over and to comfort him. 

"Tom?"

"He's alive! Holy fucking shit, he's alive." He whimpered, allowing Edd to see the photo. It was the last picture the four of them before Tord moved out. Seeing Tord after so long, smiling while slinging his arm over edds shoulder and holding Tom's hand. It was such a pure and happy photo.

"You were right…" Patryck choked out, holding a crystal necklace. 

"He's alive!" Paul held his own photo frame. Matt removed his hoodie and swapped it with his own sweater. Slowly, they all changed into their sweaters. 

"It wouldn't be Christmas without Tord!" Edd chuckled wetly, trying to lighten the mood. And it worked. They all laughed, clutching their small gifts close.

In Edd's opinion, this was one of the best Christmas ever. 

**Author's Note:**

> This will be the format for most chapters. It's easier for me to write and it won't take 20 chapters to get to the good stuff. Oh! And while you're here why not leave a kudos and comment? They motivate me and make it easier to work knowing you actually enjoy my work. Anyways I'll see you for the next chapter!


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